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December 2024

Featuring Ellie Nova
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Latest Politics

Reefer Madness?

Where were you when marijuana became legal in this country? Yeah, man, it happened, and you didn’t even notice. But not because you were stoned. Once the stuff is legal for recreational use—as it is in nine states and the District of Columbia for people over 21 years of age—and okay for medical use in...

Asshole of the Month: Wayne LaPierre

Like dogs, there are many different breeds of Assholes in the world: your garden-variety barkers, mangy kleptocrats and, worst of all, rabid pit bulls. Wayne LaPierre, longtime CEO of America’s most powerful nonprofit organization, the National Rifle Association, is the latter breed of Asshole. Gun owners, before you get your camo panties in a wad...

Asshole of the Month: Mark Zuckerberg

In the film The Social Network about the founding of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg’s soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend tells him, “You’re going to go through life thinking that girls don’t like you because you’re a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won’t be true. It’ll be because you’re an asshole.”...

Asshole of the Month: Donald Trump Jr.

As if one Donald Trump is not enough to trouble the world, we also have to suffer his eldest spawn. Don Junior’s got Senior’s back, ready to whack anybody critical of our constipated Dufus in Chief with his own obnoxious Twitterstorms. And he very likely helped shoehorn Daddy into office by dirty-dealing with the Russians....

Asshole of the Month: John Kelly

When retired four-star Marine general John Kelly was installed as Trump’s chief of staff, there was a huge sigh of relief across the land. It seemed that the “adult day care center,” as Republican senator Bob Corker called the White House, was finally going to be supervised by someone who had at least an inkling...

Asshole of the Month: Dana Rohrabacher

California has produced its share of freaks and crackpots, but topping that list of lunatics is the 29-year incumbent GOP representative from Orange County, Dana Rohrabacher. Like an outhouse that hasn’t been emptied for three decades, he continues to burp out blasts of ever more obnoxious effluvia. The man has actually stated that climate change...

Asshole of the Month: Ivanka Trump

Donald Trump’s daughter Ivanka is beautiful— blond, slender, high cheekbones, sultry eyes—she’s also proof positive that beauty is only skin deep. Ivanka was supposed to be the good Trump in the White House, providing the conscience her psycho dad lacked. Unfortunately, she’s turned into the poster girl for the President’s bullshit populism. While Big Daddy...

Asshole of the Month: Joe Arpaio

The surest path to elected office in America is the ever popular vow to “get tough” on crime. “Getting tough” sounds better than “getting smart” on crime, which works better. So instead of smart district attorneys and sheriffs, we often get stupid tough guys with more phony brawn than brains. A lot of them turn...

More War

In early April, as President Donald Trump’s approval ratings were near the lowest they’d been since taking office, a suspected chemical attack killed dozens of civilians —including many children— in the rebel-held Syrian town Khan Sheikhoun. Cable news networks aired gruesome video footage showing dozens of dead bodies and other victims writhing in agony. Trump...

Asshole of the Month: Stephen Miller

If Ronald Reagan was the Great Communicator, however bankrupt the policies he communicated, Donald Trump is the Great Babbler. With a fifth grader’s vocabulary and the inability to string a coherent sentence together, he really needs all the help he can get communicating to the public. And he hasn’t been helped much by departed clowns...

Heist of the Century

As legend has it, after Roger Maris topped Babe Ruth’s home-run record in 1961, an asterisk was placed next to Maris’s name in Major League Baseball’s record books. Why? Because the unpopular slugger’s 61 round-trippers broke the beloved Bambino’s record during a season that had been extended from 154 games to 162. Never mind that...

Common Sense

President Donald Trump’s laundry list of horrors— from bashing immigrants to exacerbating climate change to undermining women’s rights—all deserve to be condemned. But the one keeping me up at night is Trump’s power to end all human life on this planet in a matter of hours simply by pressing the nuclear-strike button with that finger...

Asshole of the Month: Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Melissa McCarthy is no doubt crying. Sean Spicer, the butt of her hilarious send-ups on SNL, has finally resigned as White House press secretary. McCarthy may have killed this golden goose —Spicer was effectively laughed out of office. But hold on, Melissa—the Republican clown car has already disgorged fresh comedy fodder: Spicer’s replacement, Sarah Huckabee...

Picking a Fight

Fascism begins with blaming the stranger for your problems. And it works, or Donald Trump wouldn’t be President. Of course, the brash billionaire benefited from two interrelated campaign promises: to erect a wall along the U.S.-Mexico border and perk up the stagnant wages of American workers. Kick out the foreigners, and the good times will...

“Our Worst Fears Realized”

He was born in Philadelphia 44 years ago. He has no criminal record and frequently traveled to other countries and returned without incident. That is, until this past February. For the first time, soon after our new President was inaugurated, even this man—perhaps because of his skin color, perhaps because of his name, perhaps both—was...

Automakers & Making America Great Again

Looking for a new car, I tried to buy American. It wasn’t just because Donald Trump kept going on and on about making America great again by bringing back well-paying jobs, like the auto industry had when I was growing up. Heck, that was the plan when Barack Obama first got elected. Obama did bail...

Asshole of the Month: Eric Trump

When a son emulates his father, it’s often said that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. In the case of the Trump family, it’s more like the turds don’t plop far from the Asshole. That’s certainly the case with Eric Trump, the third turd spawned by Donald Trump, now the world’s reigning king...

2 1/2 Minutes to Midnight

Just two days before climate-change denier Donald Trump was sworn in as President, the World Meteorological Organization announced that 2016 was the hottest year ever recorded on planet Earth. The milestone shattered the previous high, set in 2015, which had supplanted 2014’s record-breaking temperature. It doesn’t take a climate scientist to notice a disturbing pattern:...

Hope Springs Eternal

Scratching around for some rare good news concerning our bullyboy President, I’ve conjured up a couple of positive signs that may help you sleep better. The first concerns the ultimate horror of global annihilation. The Donald’s trembling finger on the nuclear-strike button could end, in less than an hour, most forms of recognizable life on...

Asshole of the Month: Kris Kobach

Times seem bleak for progressives right now, with the GOP triumphant in the House and Senate and a seriously unstable egomaniac running the whole show. But the Republicans know that this is really a one-off. Demographic trends spell a near-certain reversal of fortune and unavoidable Democratic dominance within the next decade. The country is becoming...
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