Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

Cartoons

Illustrated monthly funnies

Jokes

Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

Unapologetic political satire

close slideout
Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
Magazine new arrow

April 2023

Laura Desirée
Join HUSTLER Magazine trial promo image

Intro Offer:
3 days for only $0.99!

Cartoons

More 'Toons

“It’s unreal how something that smells so good could be called…sniff…sniff…pussy.”

“I swear to God, if I ever treated my wife as an object, it was a small bus.”

“You girls go to your store, and we’ll go to ours!”

Bits & Pieces


Year of the Peg

We don’t need much in the way of encouragement to champion the virtues of pegging (butt stuff rocks). So if amateur porn site Clips4Sale says that pegging is shaping up to be the fetish trend of 2023, then let’s strap up, strap on...

Fucking Famous

In an interview late last year, porn A-lister and HUSTLER centerfold (44th Anniversary Issue) Abella Danger revealed her secret celeb sex fantasy: Barbie herself, Ms. Margot Robbie. Do we approve? Hell, yes! Are we surprised? Not...

Porn, a Love Story

Gooners: They are the unsung heroes of adult entertainment, worshiping and consuming porn with the passion of evangelical true believers. And Catherine Duffy? She is living the goonette (female gooner) lifestyle to the max. (But for...

Parodies


Jokes


Did you hear about the blonde who had two shots at getting pregnant? She blew them both.

Question: What do you call a promiscuous woman?

Answer: A good time.

Walt and Arny each wanted to buy a beer but only had a dollar between them. Coming up with a plan, Walt dashed off.

When he returned holding a big sausage Arny yelled, “Are you crazy?! Now we’re broke!”

“Just follow me,” Walt suggested. He and Arny went into a bar, ordered two draft beers and downed them before they paid. Then Walt shoved the sausage through his fly and told Arny to get down on his knees and suck it. Seeing what was going on, the bartender ordered the men to scram.

Ten bars and ten beers later, Arny whined, “I can’t do this anymore, Walt. My knees are sore, and I’m drunk as a skunk.”

“Hey, Arny, how do you think I feel?” Walt countered. “I can’t remember which bar I lost the damn sausage in.”

Who named female undergarment panties? Cuntainers would have been more fitting.

Question: What do you call a stupid pirate?

Answer: The pillage idiot.

Julie told her lawyer, “I want to divorce my husband. He has a lousy memory.”

“Why would you want to divorce him for that?” the lawyer asked.

Julie explained, “Every time he sees an available woman, he forgets that he’s married.”

Question: Why are Catholic priests called Father?

Answer: Because Daddy would be too suspicious.

A farmer successfully grew a crop of vibrators. Unfortunately, he now has a problem with squatters.