July 2020

Featuring Winter Jade

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(Sensitive) Studs For Hire

You don’t hear as much lore and chatter about male escorts because, let’s face it, most women don’t have to try as hard to get laid. That’s not to say that there is anything wrong with women who choose to pay for sex, the...

When Goat-Napping Goes Wrong

First things first, be assured that this story ends up okay…unless you count one man’s crippling meth addiction. And his even more crippling bad judgment. Or the tattered remains of his friendship with a goat who shall remain...

Practice What You Preach

Okay, it’s no bombshell reveal that the South, with all its finger-wagging and moral hooha, is just as horny as the rest of us, but it’s always worth revisiting this factoid with due regularity, if only to remind the hypocrites that...

First Contact

Secret shame no more! If ever you’ve fantasized about the sweet caress of a Martian digit as it prepares your anal probe, you’re not alone. Like, the opposite of alone…you’re in very good company,  so much so that some...

Boobs Save Koala Bears!

One billion animals dead. Over 12 million acres of land up in flames. The Australia wildfires, still burning at press time, have caused untold destruction and suffering. So when the government was slow to step in, sex workers endeavored to...

You Had Me at Cream Pie

It’s not easy being a McDonald’s franchise owner. Between slumping sales and the imminent transition to a plant-based menu, the brand is struggling to remain relevant in an age where the popularity of colon-clogging death sludge is on...

Sex Doll Protocol

If you pay attention to international news, then you’ll occasionally catch a stark reminder or three of why Canada is not the bucolic Northern paradise you once imagined. Canada can be racist. Canada can be violent. And much like our own law...

Girl Meets Porn

It says a lot about the state of the entertainment industrial complex that an actor on a not-unpopular network TV show can leave mainstream behind to make more money and find greater fulfillment working in adult entertainment. Maitland Ward, you are...

Highs and Lows

You know what they say: Where there’s a will, there’s a way. And in pursuit of the almighty orgasm, you better believe that ingenuity has a way of flourishing in the face of obstacles. Obviously great sex is great because everyone is enjoying...

The Secret Language of Women

“Do you know who tells the truth? Drunks and children.” This all-too-true gem, dispensed by Erika Jayne from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Season 9, Episode 20), is undeniably apt—save for one glaring omission: sex...

Make These Words Go Away

Dating is hard enough as it is without having to keep up with the ever-evolving and dignity-crushing lexicon of words that arise out of misguided necessity. Like, did I really need a word to capture the unique humility of someone...

2019 Was a Good Year for Sex

We live in a golden age of entertainment. Say what you will about the endless barrage of crappy remakes, superhero movie after superhero movie and the living nightmare that is Star Wars fandom, when you look past the noise and...

No Meat, More Heat

The baseless belief that eating meat is somehow synonymous with strength and virility is being turned on its ear in a new Netflix documentary that extols the many virtues of a plant-based diet. But as to the latter, can eating vegan really add extra...

The Future of Male Contraception

You know what? Let’s forego the pithy setup and puns—you deserve the facts and just the facts. And as moments of reckoning go, it doesn’t get much more “real” than sticking a hypodermic in your dick to prevent...

Chew Toys

Face it: Dogs and cats, while intelligent in their own right, are either unable or unwilling to distinguish between a shoe and a dildo. And while animals are by no means inherently naughty (except when the little fuckers shit in your shoe), you may...

Sub Seeks Master

Kink dating is anything but simple or straightforward. Think of it this way: You love sushi. Like, the good stuff, the really good stuff: razor clams, uni and hamachi so fresh, it was swimming happily only moments before hitting your plate. Now,...

Real Talk: Anal Sex Edition

Like oysters or CrossFit, anal sex isn’t for everyone. Those who love it love it, while others are cool to the concept either by virtue of a bad experience, fear or simple personal preference. All this considered, it’s...

In Praise of Streaking

Remember the Instagram model who flashed her breasts at Houston Astros pitcher Gerrit Cole during Game 5 of the World Series? Say what you will about this cheap publicity stunt, those boobs are now forever enshrined in history, her perky...

The Kominsky Method Loves Amber Lynn

Fans of the Netflix comedy The Kominsky Method, which returned for its second season on October 25, received an extra-special treat as they caught up with Sandy Kominsky, Norman Newlander—and a classic HUSTLER...

Angela White Does HUSTLER Hollywood

How better to spend your Friday night than in the presence of porn royalty? HUSTLER Hollywood’s Sunset Boulevard location was recently packed with eager fans as XXX superstar Angela White dropped in to press the flesh...

Celeb Skin: Stars Who Stripped

Move over J.Lo and company. We’re not interested in celebrities doing impressions of strippers—we want the real thing. And none of that Hollywood burlesque nonsense either. It’s pole or nothing as HUSTLER recaps the famous...

Group Masturbation: The Healing Touch?

In this age of steamed vaginas and Goop, no manner of new age hoo-ha should come as a surprise anymore. Rejuvenating beluga placenta facial mask? Here’s my credit card number! But it’s not fair to generalize; yes,...

Isn’t it Romantic?

Love is pure. Love is blind. Love is forever. But let’s be real, because love isn’t going to protect your assets when a marriage turns to shit. A prenuptial agreement, while short on romance, has its place and purpose—but like any tool, in the...

Paging Dr. Butt

Doctors are people too. They have families, hobbies, fears, desires—and just like you, they use social media. So unless you want your humiliating X-ray retweeted to infinity, it’s probably best if you stop sticking crazy stuff up your bumhole....