November 2019

Featuring Lana Rhoades

Intro Offer:
3 days for only $1.35!

Back to Humor

Livin’ La Vida In Vitro

Science fiction, you win again. As the dark future nightmares of literature and film steadily manifest into reality, it should come as no surprise that another prophecy may come to be sooner than we think: the end of fucking to make...

The First Lady of Lumber

In what can only be described as pure nightmare fuel, well-meaning albeit confused Slovenians commemorated homeland hero and Lizard Queen/First Lady Melania Trump with a statue that makes Celoron’s serial killer Lucille Ball look...

She’s Not Heavy

Welcome to the only sporting event that really matters—not even the Super Bowl comes close to capturing the majesty, grandeur and glory of the North American Wife Carrying Championship. Gentlemen, lift your spouses, and take your marks! The 20th...

If It Walks Like A Duck…

In July America’s Racist-in-Chief took aim at “The Squad”: Ilhan Omar of Minnesota, Rashida Tlaib of Michigan, Ayanna Pressley of Massachusetts and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York, a quartet of progressive Democrats in Congress...

Swinger Down!

We all like to point fingers, but sex isn’t a one-size-fits-all type of thing. What’s normal in Japan may seem weird to us and vice versa. But can we all just pause and mutually acknowledge that British people are into some next-level kink? Not...

The Biggest Little Earner

Former Beaver Hunt babe Alice Little may appear diminutive in size, but the larger-than-life sex worker is a big earner who makes a tidy living in Nevada, where brothels are legal. Starting rate: $2,000. In an article for...

The Real Fake News: Early Primary Gives Iowans False Impression They Matter

DES MOINES, IA—Despite inclement weather, Iowa residents gather under traditional corn-thatched roofs for what’s become a quadrennial political...

Decrim for the Win!

If anyone deserves a break these days, it’s got to be sex workers. Relentlessly marginalized, demonized and victimized, they are literally fighting for their lives. Yet amidst the onslaught, hope glimmers. And so it is with cautious optimism that...

Sex Work Matters

With 2020 fast approaching and impeachment still a long shot, the Democrats vying to take on Trump are piled higher than a zombie horde out of World War Z. But where are the candidates of substance, who stand for something other than...

Deleted But Not Defeated

Not all users are equal in the eyes of social media, and no one knows this better than the oft-fucked-over sex workers whose accounts are arbitrarily deleted or suspended simply by virtue of what they do for a living. The situation peaked...

Big Bucks In Smut

Here’s a free life lesson for you: Don’t ever, ever store anything at your parents’ house. Because like any aging mother or father, they will inevitably go through a massive, Marie Kondo-like purge and get rid of anything that...

The Real Fake News: Dems Introduce “Meh, What Can You Do?” Act

WASHINGTON, D.C.—As calls for impeachment grow around the country, and within the House Democratic caucus, House leadership has drafted a scathing...

Hot Button

Hot Button While some state governments are busy dismantling female reproductive rights and enabling rapists to sue their victims for child custody, other less-heinous elected officials are doing their part to make the world a little less shitty for...

Cho Headlines Minority Reportz

“I wanted to fuck Bristol Palin,” confessed Margaret Cho during April’s Ethnic AF Comedy Show at the Matrix Theatre in West Hollywood. She encountered the famous teen mom on ABC’s Dancing With the Stars and...

Brooklyn Is for Lovers

There’s something kind of magical happening in Brooklyn right now—well, Bushwick to be specific, a neighborhood located in the north end of this beloved NYC borough. There a community is emerging rooted in shared values like love,...

The Real Fake News: Nation Shocked to Learn Wealthy Buy Advantages

SANTA MONICA, CA—In the wake of the college admissions scandal, in which 50 people were charged on multiple counts of bribery and fraud, many...

Lisa Simpson for President

Now that a reality-TV star has proven that anyone can be elected President in America, The Donald is facing a formidable foe. A Fort Lauderdale-born woman has adopted the identity of Lisa Simpson (from The...

Happy, Healthy…Kinky

Admit it, you’re curious about kink. Maybe you saw Fifty Shades of Grey, or someone bought you Shibari rope as a wedding gift that now sits in a drawer, sad and unused. Well, dust that shit off and get busy learning knots, because science has...

Sex in the City

Nothing says sexy quite like cutting loose in…Morgantown, West Virginia? You see, this is what happens when you let a sex toy company use its own data to promote romantic tourism. It’s a pretty common marketing ploy. In this instance, sex toy...

Sad Little Weiner

Former congressman and human trainwreck Anthony Weiner has seen better days. He is reportedly back in New York after finishing his term in a Massachusetts prison where he may or may not have been passed around like a plate of hors d’oeuvres....

Florida: WTF

Florida, America’s sweaty ball sac (thank you, Patton Oswalt), earned its reputation as the most batshit crazy state in the union. And it continues to defend this dubious title, day after day, racking up insane headlines. There are columns and...

Circus of Depravity

Remember Wife Swap, the program where two women from diverse backgrounds traded families and homes for a couple weeks? As guilty pleasures go, the reality series was not totally without merit: Watching a Southern belle wake up at 3 a.m. to milk...

The Real Fake News: Dozens Hospitalized With Giuliani Poisoning

ATLANTA, GA—The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is urging East Coast residents to avoid Rudolph Giuliani after an outbreak of...

Four Score & Seven Boners Ago

Fanfiction is a very broad term that encompasses all kinds of fantasy scenarios between characters, be they real or imagined. There’s gay Teen Wolf fanfic, Marvel Universe fanfic and reams of erotic scenarios...