Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

Cartoons

Illustrated monthly funnies

Jokes

Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

Unapologetic political sattire

close slideout
Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
Magazine new arrow

October 2021

Join HUSTLER Magazine trial promo image

Intro Offer:
3 days for only $1.35!

Back to Humor

Recycling Is Sexy

What happens to vibrators when they die? Existential implications aside, it’s a legitimate question. Sex toys, despite their very singular and personal purpose, are a consumer product just like any other: They are manufactured, people buy them,...

Disability Visibility

There is no standing in the way of greatness. No obstacle too high, no challenge too daunting, no cam show too sexy. That’s not to say it hasn’t been a difficult journey for GoAskAlex (Alex Resident), an award-winning model and...

Demon Sex

Goth Christmas—aka Halloween, aka the greatest, horniest holiday of the year—is once again upon us. Gather around, children of the night, as we regale you with dark tales of demon sex and the non-secular traditions that maintain its plausibility...

Remembering Dahlia Sky

In a community as tightly knit as the adult entertainment industry, it’s devastating when somebody slips through the cracks. In July we lost Dahlia Sky. The beloved performer was found dead in her car from an apparent gunshot wound. She...

Shock & Awe

The annual Cannes Film Festival is no stranger to controversy. In fact, controversy is the best part of this overblown and bloated parade of egos. Past directors have earned the ire of audiences with their “shocking” oeuvres (more on that...

MILF to Karens: Suck It

Like Batman or Dr. Fauci, Brittney Glidden is the hero we need but don’t deserve. Hailing from Maine, her fight is for freedom: the freedom to proclaim she is a proud MILF to the entire world—or at least to the person driving behind...

Pegging: A Primer

We live in a golden age of sexual awareness. From gender identity to ethical nonmonogamy, people are more open than ever to the full spectrum of what sex and sexuality have to offer. So the next time your partner broaches the topic of pegging,...

The G-Scale Explained

Some orgasms are better than others—like astral-projecting-into-an-other-dimension better. But every climax is different, with variables such as duration, intensity and stimulation all adding to the mix. For those who sport a vagina and...

The SpongeBob Blues

Photo by Nickelodeon Movies / AllStar Picture Library LTD./Alamy Even if you’re sexually adventurous and open-minded, you likely have limits. Such is the case with a Reddit user who wrote that his girlfriend has…needs. Role-play, to be specific....

Breathe Easier

Between climate change, pollen and pollution, allergy sufferers are really taking it in the nuts these days (yours truly included). A stuffed nose can totally ruin sex. But—and hold on to your hats, folks—what if sex, or orgasms for that matter,...

How to Spot a Cheater

We all have a tell: avoiding eye contact, touching our hair, whistling. And if you’re not careful, these unconscious ticks will expose you. In England, one private investigator is blowing the lid off of extramarital affairs by revealing...

Sperm in Space

Step aside, cockroaches: There’s a new indestructible biological entity in town, and it’s blasting off into space to colonize Mars. Maybe not tomorrow, but if you freeze some now, it might keep for a couple centuries, give or take. It would seem...

Our Lips Are Sealed

You’re at a party and lock eyes with a sexy stranger. Those eyes look kind of familiar. Then it dawns on you: Holy shit, am I flirting with a celebrity? You introduce yourself, down a few overwrought cocktails, then fall into a cab. Back at...

Injustice League

Photo by Picturelux/The Hollywood Archive/Alamy Is it heroic to eat pussy? Not according to the stuffed shirts at DC Comics, who swiftly squashed plans to have Batman go down on Catwoman in the R-rated animated series Harley Quinn. Here’s how it...

If You Build It, They Will Come

PHOTO BY ANDREY KOBYLKO/ALAMY Science has come a long way in perfecting the condom. Once upon a time the prospect of wearing a rubber was akin to wrapping your cock in a garbage bag: safe, but often seemed like it was...

Hidden Agenda

The vagina is a many splendored thing. A thing of beauty. A vessel for miracles. And sometimes just a vessel…like for smuggling. We take you now to Missouri, where one Amy Wilhite, 39, found herself in hot water when it was discovered, 17 days...

Porn Matters

Regular readers of Bits & Pieces will know how preoccupied we are with porn. Not just the consumption thereof, but the space that it occupies, in our homes, in our hearts—but mostly in our homes, because sooner or later, one way or the other,...

Send in the Clowns

Remember Pennywise from Stephen King’s It? Pure nightmare fuel, right? Clowns can be downright terrifying to some, but for others those chills are more akin to arousal than any sort of fear response. Yes, clown kink is very real, and we have the...

Swipe Right in COVID Fight

PHOTO BY DESIGN PICS INC/ALAMY He may be America’s slightly inappropriate grandpa, but you gotta love Joe Biden sometimes. Not only has dignity been restored to the Oval Office, but the country is well on its way to having a...

Large and in Charge

The internet is super horny for Lady Dimitrescu. For the non-gamers in the room: Lady D—full name Alcina Dimitrescu—is a character from the 2021 survival horror blockbuster Resident Evil Village. She is a nine-foot-tall vampire mommy, which...

Red, Hot and Blue

Think about it: As America slowly but surely crawls out of its COVID hole and sanity is finally restored to the Oval Office, has there been a better time in recent memory to celebrate this soon-to-be-great-again nation? Ladies, gentlemen and...

Kinky Confessions

People are strange, do strange things and pay to have strange things done to them. And thanks to Reddit, we get to glimpse the secret world of some very dedicated essential workers. BuzzFeed did a nifty little listicle this spring, highlighting a...

Bad, Badder, Baddest

You may know Tig Notaro for her wry ’n’ dry stand-up. Now prepare to meet Tig Notaro: action star and certified badass. The host of the hilarious Funny or Die web series Under a Rock landed a role in Zack Snyder’s latest: Army of the Dead...

Fap to the Future

It’s too bad there is no national archive for porn. No Presidential library wings dedicated to vintage copies of Swank (or HUSTLER, for that matter). Because porn is so much more than a picture on a screen or page—it’s a horny time capsule, a...