Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Big Pussies
Leave it to Donald Trump, aka Cheeto Jesus, aka The Face Without a Man, to ruin a perfectly wonderous word: pussy. In case you missed it (if you did, consider yourself blessed): A few weeks before the U.S. Presidential election, the Washington Post...
Fucking & Football
The word prostitution just doesn’t pack the moral outrage that it used to. So if you’re looking to upset people, try the phrase “sex trafficking.” Along with all the other dubious traditions that go along with Super Bowl Sunday, media...
The Orgasm Lady
Firliana Purwanti, who also goes by The Orgasm Lady, has worked hard over the past several years, empowering Indonesian women to embrace their sexuality. What’s the big deal? “Womyn” have been celebrating themselves and their goddamn orgasms...
Cornography
Rabbi Shmuley Boteach and Pamela Botox Anderson (collectively, from here on out, Teach ’n’ Tox) recently coauthored an editorial for Murdoch’s Wall Street Journal about the “dangers of pornography.” Where these two moral and intellectual...
Love Italian-Style
Grazie to Italy’s Supreme Court, which recently ruled that public masturbation is not a crime, so long as it’s not in the presence of minors. The ruling overturned a conviction by a lower court of a 69-year-old man identified as “Pietro L,”...
Be All You Can Be
Guess what, world? We’re not a bunch of babies who can’t handle it if the soldiers serving in our military don’t all present as John Wayne. The Pentagon recently announced that transgender troops on active duty may qualify for sex-reassignment...
Doll Ball
Maybe he couldn’t face another holiday alone. Perhaps she reminded him of the one who got away. Something inspired 55-year-old Christopher Wade to abduct a curvy brunette mannequin from a HUSTLER Hollywood store in Nashville, Tennessee, in the wee...
Vagina Demagogue
Our apologies—we really can’t wait to stop talking about Trump. But Gabriella Paiella’s piece for New York magazine, “Why Are Trump’s Hands Always Making the Symbol for ‘Vagina,’” posed a question too good to pass on. The piece was...
Olympic Glory
“Am I the only person who thinks the Walk of Nations, from above, looks like a giant vagina? #OpeningCeremony #Rio2016,” tweeted @JasonKorolenko. No, Jason, you were not. Sure, Olympic media coverage of female athletes was embarrassingly shitty...
Tell Us Something We Don’t Know
Having little else to do, journalists across the nation recently reported on a paper published by New York University researchers with this catchy title: “A Qualitative Investigation Comparing Psychosocial and...
Fully Erect
Identical naked Donald Trump statues were recently erected in cities across the United States, shocking and thrilling crowds in Seattle, New York, Cleveland, San Francisco and the City of Angels. Commissioned by the anarchist collective INDECLINE...
Drunk & Disorderly
It’s understandable that macho, dumb shits would find a job with the United States Secret Service (USSS) appealing: You get to carry a gun and wear sunglasses and a wire and shit. You’d think the elite law enforcement agency, under the auspices...
Holy Fuck, It’s Christmas!
This just in: There is joy on earth. It’s on us to spread it around, and this time of year that means gifts. Sometimes it gets hard to figure out what goodies Old Saint Fatty should include in his sack of shit. So whether...
Rubber Rubbish
So long, jizz facials. If Proposition 60, a ballot measure going before Californians on November 8th, is voted in, your favorite cum queens will have to wear goggles, nose plugs and surgical masks if they don’t want to be exposed to lawsuits. The...
“Sorry I’m a Cunt!”
Dani Mathers don’t need no stinking publicist to go from low-ranking media celebrity (56th Playmate of the Year and a recurring role as “waitress” on The Bold and the Beautiful) to high-ranking internet hatebait. The surgically enhanced model...
Devil in Disguise
“Are we going to dress up?” asks one Satanic Temple member with the earnest enthusiasm of a Boy Scout marching in his first parade. It’s June 6, 2016—not quite 6.6.6, but close enough. The Los Angeles Chapter of the Satanic Temple is meeting...
Publicity! Stupidity!
“Free” porn hub xHamster doesn’t pay for content, but it sure spends on public relations. So far this year xHamster’s gotten widespread media coverage for: 1) announcing it was blocking all IP addresses from North Carolina until...
Less Gas, More Ass
About 450 streakers rode 18 miles through Los Angeles to support World Naked Bike Ride (WNBR), a global grassroots movement held every June in cities around the world to raise awareness about traffic pollution and oil dependency. The Los Angeles...
Cinderella Story
Temperatures in Phoenix, Arizona, hit record highs this summer, but extreme heat did not deter locals from celebrating HUSTLER Hollywood’s grand opening. Beautiful women arrived wearing their hottest lingerie to compete in the Honey Search, but...
Seeds of Sleaze
You know how, when you lose a job, spouse or appendage, well-intentioned people will say that one day, you’ll realize it was the best thing that ever happened to you? Fuck those people. Rick Friday, a fourth-generation farmer and editorial...
Nancy Reagan: An Oral History
Ronald Reagan called her “Mommy.” White House staffers referred to her as “Mrs. President.” Rat Pack actor Peter Lawford considered her Hollywood’s greatest cocksucker. Those are some of the nicer things people called...
