Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
The Real Fake News: Haspel Shatters Glass Ceiling With Ice Pick
WASHINGTON, D.C.—After days of perfunctory hearings, and with the help of six key Democratic votes, longtime CIA veteran Gina Haspel was confirmed...
Man Rear-ends Car
In what universe can a man mistake the exhaust pipe of a car with a human orifice, male or female? The answer is one where a person is somehow still alive with an off-the-charts 0.35 blood alcohol level. As reported by Oxygen.com, a heroically...
You Are Not Alone
There’s no sugarcoating it: The end of 2017/beginning of 2018 was a dark time for the porn industry. It culminated at the AVN Awards in January, where Best Director Greg Lansky said only a brief thank-you before yielding the mic to fellow director...
Bra & Order
It’s one thing for adult content to be viewed by your unsuspecting grandma, but you’d think a lawyer would have a pretty high threshold for nipples. Still, even parasites must have their limits. The human tapeworms of the Utah Bar Association...
Celebrity Sex Stories
In the age of Fake News, Reddit is citizen journalism in its purest form: This happened to me, and now I’m sharing it with you. Believe me or don’t believe me, I don’t care. Fact or fiction, who knows? Still, some threads ring more...
The Real Fake News: 1 in 4 Americans Will Have Worked for Trump by 2020
Researchers at the University of Phoenix have crunched the numbers, and at the current rate, it’s estimated that nearly 75 million Americans...
The Real Fake News: Assault Rifles Have Many Awesome Uses
FAIRFAX, VA—A group of unbiased scientists from the National Rifle Academy has conducted a study finally debunking the nefarious myth that assault rifles’ only use in American life is the wholesale...
The Politics of Porn
Blame porn. That seems to be the response of desperate legislators eager to avoid being held accountable for their states’ problems. Let’s start with Kansas: Last February the state senate passed a resolution declaring pornography a public...
Slope-side in South Korea
Sex and the Olympics go together like skiing and snow. And athletes did not disappoint at the recent Winter Games in Pyeongchang. Magnificent physical specimens with raging libidos long repressed by unrelenting training schedules grabbed...
Sex Toys For All
In theory the idea of receiving a free butt plug or Hitachi Magic Wand in the mail may seem like a dream come true, but in reality it can be kind of creepy. Such was the case for dozens of people across Canada and the U.S. who received X-rated...
Pot Parties
The tectonic shift toward legal marijuana is bringing people together, with some dispensaries offering more than choice bud to their less inhibited customers. Let’s put it this way: Weed makes everything better—food, music, sex…especially...
Women on the March
There’s no denying the momentum of change as women worldwide marched again this January. As much a collective “Fuck you!” to Trump’s blithe misogyny as a declaration of war against the status quo, this collective show of strength and...
Baby-Birding
Redditor iPiPrince first suspected something was amiss when he tried the scrambled eggs. They looked okay, but for some reason tasted too… mushy. And then there was the smell—it seemed off. His girlfriend attributed it to fancy cheese, but the...
The Real Fake News: Zuckerberg Faces Facts
PALO ALTO, CA—Amid a chorus of growing concern surrounding the spread of fake news stories on Facebook during the 2016 Presidential election, and the potential for similar abuses in the coming 2018 midterms,...
The Real Fake News Bannon: Insane in the Membrane
SILICON VALLEY, CA—A more-disheveled-than-usual Steve Bannon, former top aide to President Trump, was seen yesterday pacing furiously by a Taco Bell dumpster, which he bitterly referred to as Trashvanka 2.0....
Anal Is on the Menu
What a magical time to be into butt stuff! If you’re a guy who loves anal sex, then you’ll be heartened to know that more women than ever are taking it up the ass on a regular basis. A new survey by Bespoke Surgical reveals that one in four...
Waterbeds Turn 50
That’s right, swingers—the waterbed has been around for five whole decades, and according to its inventor, Charlie Hall, the time is nigh for a comeback. “My theory is, there’s a whole generation that was spawned on a...
Turning Tricks
Trends in film may come and go, but hookers are forever. Some miss the mark (Heather Graham, The Hangover), while others are pure exploitation (Angel, 1984), but recent offerings have injected new life and dimension to this oft-misrepresented...
On Bended Knees
Wedding photos: Is there anything worse? The forced romance, the manufactured moments…pass the gun. If only this worn-out medium had something less tired and predictable to offer, something to offset the mundane treacle of sunsets and longing...
Let Porn Be My Armor
Resolving neighborly tensions is no fun. Some people choose mediation, while others leave passive-aggressive letters in the mailbox. Then there’s Donald Gene Gaither of Oklahoma, whose epic rampage makes Michael Douglas’s turn in Falling Down...
Pan Pan, the Banging Panda
Unless you’ve been living under a rock in a cave on Mars, you’d know that March 16 is National Panda Day. And as you celebrate the majesty of nature’s bamboo-loving clowns, take a somber moment this year to remember an...
Is Your Sex Toy Secure?
Before you invest in that vibrating Bluetooth butt plug, a word of warning: Use password protection, and don’t choose an idiot configuration like 0000 or 1234. Because the future is now, and anyone can hack into anything. See where this...
