American’s sense of “victory” gets cheaper every day. Take former Gary Hart lap warmer Donna Rice Hughes. The president and CEO of Enough Is Enough (EIE), a nonprofit organization dedicated to making “the internet safer for children and families,” is claiming “huge victories.” Just what does EIE, at it for over two decades now, have to crow about? They sent a couple of letters nagging McDonald’s and Starbucks to add internet filters to their WiFi. Great! Now we can’t jerk it to porn while waiting for our venti crappoccinos. What else? She created a petition urging Disney to go after Disney-themed hardcore porn sites to “protect your Disney princesses and our children now.” “This is a serious issue,” insists Hughes.
Our search for “Disney princess porn,” inspired only by Hughes’ hysteria, turned up pretty meager results. If EIE wants to go after someone ruining our kids online, start by nailing DanTDM or CaptainSparklez. In the meantime, Donna, Barbara Walters still wants to know whether or not you fucked Gary aboard the Monkey Business.