Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Better Boners
Optogenetics is a new field of synthetic biology. How it works is that certain neurons and body processes are controlled using blue light. Basically, bacterial DNA that is susceptible to light is encoded into a virus that affects certain neurons....
Julia Roberts Forever… and Ever?
Every girl you have ever fucked has memorized that iconic scene in the 1990 box office smash hit Pretty Woman. In case you have been living under a rock, we’ll refresh your memory: Julia Roberts plays a gorgeous,...
Another Shitty Day
When Gracie Henderson, a beautiful blond paramedic from New Caney, Texas, noticed her toilet was clogged, she scrambled to find a plunger. No luck. So Henderson decided to take the hands-on approach. The Texan reached her arm down the dreaded piss...
A Very White White House
Rumors have been flying around the White House that press secretary Sean Spicer is close to being canned. Bill O’Reilly might be his replacement, arguably a downgrade, since at least Spicer is entertaining to watch. Amidst his daily...
Pass the Joint, Hoser
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is a political heartthrob who makes Americans long for the days when we actually liked our leader. And now he’s down with the 420 crowd too. With legislation his Liberal Party recently introduced to...
Sex Doll Brothel
Ever been with your girlfriend and thought, I wish she didn’t talk, didn’t smile, didn’t blink, didn’t move without assistance and didn’t ever go to the bathroom? Then you need a sex doll because no woman is going to put up with your...
XXX Marks the Spot
It makes sense that Scots were the first to create an internet message board for outdoor hookups—because, really, what’s easier than lifting a kilt for a quickie, right? Horny exhibitionists in the Renfrewshire district in Scotland now use a...
Love American Style
America is known for excess. We do a lot of everything—shopping, eating, drinking, driving and shooting. The one thing we’re not doing a lot of lately is fucking. We’re just not putting up the fornication numbers like back in the day....
Monks on Meth
It takes one simple Google search to know that Buddhists live by “moral precepts,” otherwise known as restraints. Taboos include harming living things, sexual misconduct, lying or gossip and indulging in intoxicating substances. Monks get into...
Think Pink
Recently Hugh Hefner’s youngest son, Cooper, took to Twitter to make an announcement: Nudes were back. “I’ll be the first to admit that the way in which the magazine portrayed nudity was dated, but removing it entirely was a mistake,” he...
Paid to Get Laid
There have been a lot of jokes recently about people moving to Canada, but if this sexy new law passes, Sweden will be the new home of the great American diaspora. In the northern town of Overtornea, a local councilman has suggested a paid one-hour...
Hostess With the Mostest
What a time to be a woman in Oklahoma! Not only is there nothing to eat but OxyContin and sticks of salted butter, but since 2011 the state has passed 20 strict regulations cementing a wall between women and safe access to abortion. If...
Not so Bright-Bart
Milo Yiannopoulos is a name synonymous with controversy. He’s a contrarian who likes to go against societal norms. A Far Right homosexual is about as contrarian as you can get, but Milo found a way to kick that up a notch. After a string of recent...
Strength In Numbers
If there’s anything the Trump Administration has taught us, it’s that size matters. Not just the size of your hands, but the size of your crowds on the National Mall. The Women’s March on January 21st attracted throngs of protesters all over...
Grabbing Your Attention
A perk of being a celebrity or President (or in our case a celebrity President) is that you get wax figures sculpted in your likeness. Tourists get to overpay to visit your statue and trick their social media followers into believing...
Dick Picks
In the age of social media and online dating, the rules aren’t the same. Dating apps have bred a culture of constant hookups. If you’re a smooth dude, you can use Tinder to have a new woman every night, but what about the not-so-smooth dudes?...
Stripping For Two
About a year back ThatOregonLife.com “reported” that a new club called Baby Bumpers was opening in the Springfield, Oregon, area. The club’s gimmick was to have women who were at least six months’ pregnant dancing onstage. But while research...
Princess Killjoy
American’s sense of “victory” gets cheaper every day. Take former Gary Hart lap warmer Donna Rice Hughes. The president and CEO of Enough Is Enough (EIE), a nonprofit organization dedicated to making “the internet safer for children and...
Grim Business
Yee-haw! If you’re in the funeral business, keep your eyes peeled on a lawsuit under review in the Lone Star State. Last year Texas health officials adopted a draconian statute requiring that “fetal remains” be disposed of by cremation or...
Strip Club Rules
According to Page Six, senior Trump campaign staff advisers Jason Miller and A.J. Delgado invited media from several networks to hang out at the Sapphire Las Vegas strip club the night before the final Presidential debate. No big deal! Trump won the...
Trickle-Down Politics
According to an intelligence report released by BuzzFeed, the Russian government “has been cultivating, supporting and assisting Trump for at least five years,” and Trump and “his inner circle have accepted a regular flow of...
Planet Porn
University students in search of a thesis, rejoice! For the third year Pornhub has gazed deeply into its navel and released analytics that shed XXX light on 2016. To wit: • Collectively, just on Pornhub, humans around the planet spent...
