Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

Cartoons

Illustrated monthly funnies

Jokes

Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

Unapologetic political satire

close slideout
Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
Magazine new arrow

March 2026

Join HUSTLER Magazine trial promo image

Intro Offer:
3 days for only $0.99!

Search

Kim-Possible

Photo by Paul Hennessy/Alamy “The best. Is yet. To come!” Shrieking into the void, noted human gargoyle Kimberly Guilfoyle’s words will echo through time, but not so much as a rallying cry for Republicans as a tacit warning that, yes, she is more than willing to debase herself and democracy for a few measly bucks....

Paddy O’Malley hoisted his stout and said…

Paddy O’Malley hoisted his stout and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of my life between the legs of my lovely wife.” That earned him the best toast of the night at the pub, and he went home feeling mighty proud. His spouse was reading in bed when Paddy undressed and slid beside her. “Mary,...

Calvin went to his doctor for a physical…

Calvin went to his doctor for a physical. “Everything looks great,” the doctor told the 90-year-old. “But how are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?” “God and I are right,” Calvin replied. “He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it that when I get up in the middle...

Stark naked, a man stood in front of a full-length mirror…

Stark naked, a man stood in front of a full-length mirror. While admiring himself, he told his wife, “Look at that—180 pounds of pure dynamite.” She looked at him and growled, “It’s a fucking shame about the two-inch fuse.”...

Cheap Hotel

“Am I cheating on you? You sound like my husband!”...

Nice Guys Finish First

At least Joe Biden did in 2020. During the dark days of the George W. Bush Presidency—before the who-knew-it-could-get-so-much-darker days of Donald Trump—pollsters and pundits had an explanation for why voters chose the bumbling Bush over the competent Al Gore (in 2000) and John Kerry (in 2004). Setting aside the debatable issue as to whether...

Asshole of the Month: Sidney Powell

As Trump hunkered down in his bunker weeks after the November 3 election—as delusional as Adolf in his bunker, moving shadow Nazi armies around on a spittle-flecked map—the President relied on a few legal henchmen to rescue him from certain defeat. Many Republican leaders had already informed him it was over and advised him to...

Martina

“I’m an exhibitionist at heart,” admits Martina, 38, a “self-confident” housewife and mom from Columbia, South Carolina. “I have always liked being naked, but the thought of many men looking at my tiny body in a premier adult magazine is an even bigger turn-on. I hope Mr. Flynt enjoys looking...

HUSTLER Classic: Cowgirl Up

Feeling hot to trot? Then saddle up and hit the trail with us back to the March ’03 HUSTLER and the pictorial Jana Cova: Ride ‘Em, Cowboy.  The set, lensed by photographer Clive McLean, featured stunning blonde Jana Cova, a beauty capable of causing a sexual stampede with her gorgeous face and flawless body.  While...

Lights, Camera, Action! How to Make the Perfect Amateur Porn Video

If the internet has taught us nothing else it’s that, with modern technology, anyone can make an amateur sex tape.  Making a good amateur sex video, on the other hand, is a whole other matter. How often have you clicked on a promising thumbnail image on a porn site, only to be greeted by a dimly lit...

HUSTLER Two-Timers: Blair Williams

Welcome to HUSTLER Two-Timers, where we celebrate Honeys so nice, we featured them twice!  Today we celebrate the beauty, sexuality and spirit of Blair Williams, a very special specimen indeed. When this Los Angeles-bred beauty scored her first HUSTLER layout, with the weed-themed May ’17 pictorial Sweet Salvation, she was a newbie to porn, having...

Goodbye, Trump: A Porny Farewell

As the 45th President of the United States prepares to exit, we look back at The Donald’s alleged brushes with the adult industry. At the time of this writing, the notoriously litigious Donald Trump is mere days away from the end of his tumultuous presidency. It’s been an undeniably bumpy ride, and even though Trump...

Christiana Cinn

“I want to be in magazines, billboards, art galleries, movies, everywhere. I’m totally into the attention and just being out there, in public. Right now I’m reading Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, and I even do that in public, because it makes me feel like such a naughty, naughty girl.”

HUSTLER Classic: A Shore Thing

Chances are, as we head deeper into winter, a dip in the water is the furthest thing from your mind—unless you’re the kind of guy who gets aroused by the thought of freezing your balls off.  Even so, there’s nothing to say you can’t warm your bones—or at least one bone in particular—with this look...

Trinity St. Clair, Val Dodds & Reagan Foxx

“I was pretty young when I first fooled around with a girl. We were friends, just hanging out, and we decided to kiss. Things got hot and heavy from there! I went to an all-Catholic school in the Midwest, and I had a boyfriend throughout high school, but I also knew that I liked the...

Blondes on Blondes II

The fairer-haired among us are often maligned as ditzy, air-headed and flighty. Truth is, blondes aren’t always shallow. They can often be very deep. And wet. And warm. And delicious.  With that in mind, let us celebrate the beautiful phenomenon of flaxen-haired fillies pairing up and going down on each other. Dive in, and enjoy!...

Donald Trump: The Last Laugh

Our long national nightmare is finally over! With Joe Biden being inaugurated as America’s new President on January 20 (as of this writing, anyway), we’re finally rid of the dark, four-year joke that was the Trump Administration.  What better reason could there be to celebrate? In honor of Dolt 45 being kicked to the curb,...

HUSTLER Classic: Give That Pussy a Rest!

Who among us doesn’t need to take a break once in a while, especially these days? Maybe work has been too much of a grind lately. Or a lack of work is taking its mental toll as the financial anxiety mounts. Or the abundance of bad news in the world has you aching for relief. ...

GZA: Head of the Class

For over two decades GZA has been expanding the vocabulary of hip-hop, steady as a Star Wars opening crawl. As a founding member of the seminal Wu-Tang Clan, The Genius has dropped knowledge from cosmic quarks to Central Park. So sharpen your pencils and straighten your desk as the grand professor of hip-hop takes us...

HUSTLER Two-Timers: Jillian Janson

Welcome back to HUSTLER Two-Timers, where we celebrate Honeys so nice, we featured them twice! Today we explore the beauty, charm and jaw-dropping sensuality of XXX sexpot Jillian Janson. The 5’ 7” babe hails from Minneapolis, Minnesota, which is perhaps best known for its long, brutal winters—ironic, really, since Jillian is hot enough to melt...

The Psychology of Kink

Digging deep into the fetish mindset. Recently I was engaged in some pillow talk on the phone with one of my regular phone-sex clients after a particularly intense Mommy-Domme session. We were chatting about what aspects of the call—and the Mommy/little boy dynamic—turned us on when he said, as if to defend or justify why...

HUSTLER Classic: Strap On, Get Off

Two hot blondes. One huge strap-on. And absolutely no reservations.  Travel with us now back to the January 2002 HUSTLER and the red-hot pictorial Dayton & Tawni: Golden Pink, which offered the tale of Dayton, a flaxen-haired beauty who was lucky enough to marry into money—and also fortunate to have her side-piece Tawni, who came...

Cougar Rising: The Older Women-Younger Men Dynamic

Relationships between seasoned women and younger guys are increasingly common these days. We look at the joys of screwing across the age gap. Recently, Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles made headlines for their new relationship. While it’s common in show business for good-looking stars to hook up with each other, what caught people’s attention was...

Going in Deep With Tommy Pistol

Tommy Pistol might be one of the funniest and most reliable performers in XXX, but he’s much more than a quick wit and a relentless penis. Join us as we explore the vast, multilayered oeuvre of porn’s reigning Renaissance man. Tommy Pistol is an artist who does porn. He doesn’t get nearly enough recognition for...

HUSTLER Picks

  • Brushing Up on Going Down: The Pros’ Guide to Eating Pussy
  • The Business of Pleasure: How to Succeed in Sex Work (by Really Trying)
  • Three Is a Magic Number