Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Latest Politics
Asshole of the Month: Ben Carson
By popular acclaim of the Tea Party and the evangelical ding-dong wing of the Republican Party, Dr. Ben Carson has been drafted to run for President. No doubt he’s a smart and talented man: former head of pediatric surgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital, the first surgeon to separate conjoined twins attached at the head, author...
Asshole of the Month: Jeb Bush
After the embarrassing debacle of George W. Bush’s presidency, you’d think the Republican Party would be wary of offering up one of his siblings for another stint in the White House. But the Bush pedigree is ever popular in conservative circles, guaranteed to haul in record boatloads of campaign cash from the oligarchs who virtually...
Asshole of the Month: Tom Cotton
Tom Cotton, the freshman senator from Arkansas, has stormed Capitol Hill like a fire-breathing Godzilla, determined to demolish any moves toward diplomacy, peace and non violent resolution of world conflicts. The whole Neocon nutball chorus is swooning over him, having finally found somebody besides a craven chickenhawk to beat their war drums. After graduating from...
Asshole of the Century: George W. Bush
As democracy is perfected, the office of President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron,” wrote H.L. Mencken, the Sage of...
Asshole of the Month: James Inhofe
We ridicule Iran as a country dominated by backward-minded religious zealots, clinging to the ancient Quran as the supreme authority for governing life in the modern world. But those who live in glass greenhouses shouldn’t cast stones: America has its own tribe of embarrassing Bible-belt baboons making idiotic statements and self-destructive policies. Chief among them,...
Asshole of the Month: Louie Gohmert
If you think George W. Bush is the most backward buffoon ever to come out of Texas, think again. Dubya’s reign may soon be upstaged by another inbred spawn of the Loon Star state— Republican Representative Louie Gohmert. A blunt-speaking darling of the Tea Party crowd, Gohmert’s reactionary philosophy is summed up in this statement:...
Asshole of the Month: Rafael Cruz
This month’s asshole is the only thing on this planet that could make us feel sorry for Ted Cruz. Sure, a lot of people have fucked up dads. But the Tea Partying U.S. Senator from Texas was cursed with one so deeply twisted, it snuffed out his spirit to rebel much like an abortionist tearing...
Asshole of the Month: Tucker Carlson
Yes, this month’s millionaire turd manufacturer is so blandly semi-idiotic, we had to drink a crate of rubbing alcohol and smoke all granny’s meth before we could work up a rage. Nevertheless, we suspect an examination of this particular sphincter might offer a very valuable lesson, namely: How to become a common whore. Carlson is...
Asshole of the Month: Mia Love
If you want to make people think you’re not racist, sexist or anti-immigrant, jump into bed with a black, first-generation piece of ass. That’s what the Republican Party did. Of course, the fact that you’re banging a black chick will gradually wear off, and eventually you’ll have to stop talking and acting like a sexist,...
Asshole of the Month: Andrea Tantaros
This month’s assholette is only 35 years old, which is like puberty for the true shit heel. Assholes get more bitter and twisted over the years, eventually piling up more hemorrhoids of hate than any ointment could ever remedy. This Fox News floozy is well on her way to that fate. But since she’s only...
