Bits & Pieces

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May 2024

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Latest Politics

Asshole of the Month: Wayne LaPierre

Like dogs, there are many different breeds of Assholes in the world: your garden-variety barkers, mangy kleptocrats and, worst of all, rabid pit bulls. Wayne LaPierre, longtime CEO of America’s most powerful nonprofit organization, the National Rifle Association, is the latter breed of Asshole. Gun owners, before you get your camo panties in a wad...

Asshole of the Month: Mark Zuckerberg

In the film The Social Network about the founding of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg’s soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend tells him, “You’re going to go through life thinking that girls don’t like you because you’re a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won’t be true. It’ll be because you’re an asshole.”...

Asshole of the Month: Donald Trump Jr.

As if one Donald Trump is not enough to trouble the world, we also have to suffer his eldest spawn. Don Junior’s got Senior’s back, ready to whack anybody critical of our constipated Dufus in Chief with his own obnoxious Twitterstorms. And he very likely helped shoehorn Daddy into office by dirty-dealing with the Russians....

Asshole of the Month: John Kelly

When retired four-star Marine general John Kelly was installed as Trump’s chief of staff, there was a huge sigh of relief across the land. It seemed that the “adult day care center,” as Republican senator Bob Corker called the White House, was finally going to be supervised by someone who had at least an inkling...

Asshole of the Month: Dana Rohrabacher

California has produced its share of freaks and crackpots, but topping that list of lunatics is the 29-year incumbent GOP representative from Orange County, Dana Rohrabacher. Like an outhouse that hasn’t been emptied for three decades, he continues to burp out blasts of ever more obnoxious effluvia. The man has actually stated that climate change...

Asshole of the Month: Ivanka Trump

Donald Trump’s daughter Ivanka is beautiful— blond, slender, high cheekbones, sultry eyes—she’s also proof positive that beauty is only skin deep. Ivanka was supposed to be the good Trump in the White House, providing the conscience her psycho dad lacked. Unfortunately, she’s turned into the poster girl for the President’s bullshit populism. While Big Daddy...

Asshole of the Month: Joe Arpaio

The surest path to elected office in America is the ever popular vow to “get tough” on crime. “Getting tough” sounds better than “getting smart” on crime, which works better. So instead of smart district attorneys and sheriffs, we often get stupid tough guys with more phony brawn than brains. A lot of them turn...

Asshole of the Month: Stephen Miller

If Ronald Reagan was the Great Communicator, however bankrupt the policies he communicated, Donald Trump is the Great Babbler. With a fifth grader’s vocabulary and the inability to string a coherent sentence together, he really needs all the help he can get communicating to the public. And he hasn’t been helped much by departed clowns...

Asshole of the Month: Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Melissa McCarthy is no doubt crying. Sean Spicer, the butt of her hilarious send-ups on SNL, has finally resigned as White House press secretary. McCarthy may have killed this golden goose —Spicer was effectively laughed out of office. But hold on, Melissa—the Republican clown car has already disgorged fresh comedy fodder: Spicer’s replacement, Sarah Huckabee...

Asshole of the Month: Eric Trump

When a son emulates his father, it’s often said that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. In the case of the Trump family, it’s more like the turds don’t plop far from the Asshole. That’s certainly the case with Eric Trump, the third turd spawned by Donald Trump, now the world’s reigning king...
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