Bits & Pieces

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Handjobs for Health!

Readers of Bits & Pieces (we know you’re out there, people who buy HUSTLER for the “articles”) know how much we love self-love in all its forms. It’s a great stress-buster, helps you sleep, releases delicious dopamine into your...

Fahrenheit 451: Wyoming

No one loved a book bonfire quite like the Nazis. Of course, that was 80 years ago in Germany. Closer to home, in present day Wyoming, fascism is alive and well in Cheyenne’s libraries. As reported by NBC News, librarians in the Equality...

Five-Knuckle Virtuosos

How do they do it? The speed, the precision, the swagger—what is the secret to lightning-fast shredding? Blink-182 guitarist Tom DeLonge knows a thing or two about face-melting guitar solos, and he has a theory that gives new purpose to...

The Future of Strip Clubs

Look, let’s face it: Strip clubs may never be the same again. COVID is not going away any time soon, too many people are resistant to vaccines (as in stupid, not physiologically), and to be honest, strip clubs are just bars with...

The Best of Simulated Sex

Simultaneous orgasms. No discussion of contraception. Bras that never come off. When tasked with depicting erotic congress in film and on TV, the entertainment industrial complex shows us how little they know—or care—about real sex. An...

Anally Accurate

Pity the poor souls who sit on school boards in Texas, for they are tireless punching bags of an irretrievably stupid society. At a meeting meant to focus on COVID-19 measures, local anti-vaxxer and conspiracy wingnut Kara Q. Bell quickly derailed...

A View to 2022

So long, 2021—don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out. Frustration and fear aside, one must remain optimistic if we are to survive a pandemic, climate change and the simultaneous collapse of Western civilization. Big smiles, everybody!...

Before the Ball Drops

With a new calendar year right around the corner, time is running out fast for completing those 2021 to-dos. Maybe you resolved to start working out (lifting beer is exercise, right?) or watch less porn (how dare you—I thought we were...

Censorship: The Game

America is going through some pretty heavy shit right now. Between the war on women in Texas to the less-funny-by-the-second anti-vax movement, patriotism is in short supply these days. But like a mother lecturing her fussy child about how those...

Gooning 101

Do you goon? Are you a gooner or goonette? Do you have a goon cave? How many screens? Are you a hand jockey, or are toys part of your repertoire? Do you identify as pornosexual? If you want to masturbate with the best, then it’s time to level up...

The Geography of Hot

What makes a country sexy? Is it the people? The food? The availability of nude beaches? It’s nebulous at best, and any attempts to quantify it would be in vain. But when did that ever stop people from trying? A recent attempt by writer Yasmin...

Wonder Domme?

That bustier, those bracelets—and don’t forget the golden lariat! Is it any wonder that our favorite metahuman is steeped in BDSM culture? No? Well, we’re going to explain it anyway. HUSTLER proudly presents…Wonder Woman: XXX Origins. The...

Naughty Noël

Well, the weather outside is frightful, but the porn is so delightful… Christmas is a time for family, food, bad sweaters and perhaps most importantly yuletide-themed adult content from all of your favorite creators. So, in the spirit of the...

Dear Jessie…

Every once in a while men don’t suck (I’m a man and have the self-awareness to know that my gender can do way better). Sex is about pleasure, yours and your partner’s, but altruism is oft overlooked in the pursuit of self-pleasure. You know...

In Love With Lust

Erika Lust, you’ve done it again! The legendary adult filmmaker (go watch Primary now!) is a shoo-in for Boss of the Year, and not just because of her commitment to diversity and female-centric pleasure. To support the well-being of her 36...

Britney, Let’s Talk

Hi, Britney. Longtime fan, first-time open letter writer. We here at HUSTLER have been following your experiences closely and want you to know that we are here to offer our support, solidarity and, if you’re interested, a platform to share your...

Penis Girl to the Rescue!

Portland has not had much to smile about recently. Between peaceful protests met with police brutality and piece-of-shit Proud Boys shooting passers-by with paintball guns, it’s safe to say Oregonians could use a bit of a diversion right...

Lactation Nation

What would Freud have to say? Who cares about that fossil and his outdated theories. All that matters is what makes you happy, and if breastfeeding gets you there, then suckle to your heart’s content (with consent, that is). However you choose to...

Turkey Day Stuffing

Thanksgiving, Turkey Day—whatever you call it, it’s the greatest eating day of the year. We gorge on that glorious bird, packed with enough tryptophan to knock out a rhinoceros. But what if, sitting there like a bloated bag of bones on your...

Billionaire Porn

Terrible-meme enthusiast and billionaire industrialist Elon Musk recently joined a very exclusive club. So exclusive that, to our knowledge, he is the only member (so far): billionaire porn star. Or so they wish over at Nafty, a finance platform...

Recycling Is Sexy

What happens to vibrators when they die? Existential implications aside, it’s a legitimate question. Sex toys, despite their very singular and personal purpose, are a consumer product just like any other: They are manufactured, people buy them,...

Disability Visibility

There is no standing in the way of greatness. No obstacle too high, no challenge too daunting, no cam show too sexy. That’s not to say it hasn’t been a difficult journey for GoAskAlex (Alex Resident), an award-winning model and...

Demon Sex

Goth Christmas—aka Halloween, aka the greatest, horniest holiday of the year—is once again upon us. Gather around, children of the night, as we regale you with dark tales of demon sex and the non-secular traditions that maintain its plausibility...

Shock & Awe

The annual Cannes Film Festival is no stranger to controversy. In fact, controversy is the best part of this overblown and bloated parade of egos. Past directors have earned the ire of audiences with their “shocking” oeuvres (more on that...