Bits & Pieces

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July 2023

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If You Build It, They Will Come

PHOTO BY ANDREY KOBYLKO/ALAMY Science has come a long way in perfecting the condom. Once upon a time the prospect of wearing a rubber was akin to wrapping your cock in a garbage bag: safe, but often seemed like it was...

Hidden Agenda

The vagina is a many splendored thing. A thing of beauty. A vessel for miracles. And sometimes just a vessel…like for smuggling. We take you now to Missouri, where one Amy Wilhite, 39, found herself in hot water when it was discovered, 17 days...

Porn Matters

Regular readers of Bits & Pieces will know how preoccupied we are with porn. Not just the consumption thereof, but the space that it occupies, in our homes, in our hearts—but mostly in our homes, because sooner or later, one way or the other,...

Send in the Clowns

Remember Pennywise from Stephen King’s It? Pure nightmare fuel, right? Clowns can be downright terrifying to some, but for others those chills are more akin to arousal than any sort of fear response. Yes, clown kink is very real, and we have the...

Swipe Right in COVID Fight

PHOTO BY DESIGN PICS INC/ALAMY He may be America’s slightly inappropriate grandpa, but you gotta love Joe Biden sometimes. Not only has dignity been restored to the Oval Office, but the country is well on its way to having a...

Large and in Charge

The internet is super horny for Lady Dimitrescu. For the non-gamers in the room: Lady D—full name Alcina Dimitrescu—is a character from the 2021 survival horror blockbuster Resident Evil Village. She is a nine-foot-tall vampire mommy, which...

Red, Hot and Blue

Think about it: As America slowly but surely crawls out of its COVID hole and sanity is finally restored to the Oval Office, has there been a better time in recent memory to celebrate this soon-to-be-great-again nation? Ladies, gentlemen and...

Kinky Confessions

People are strange, do strange things and pay to have strange things done to them. And thanks to Reddit, we get to glimpse the secret world of some very dedicated essential workers. BuzzFeed did a nifty little listicle this spring, highlighting a...

Bad, Badder, Baddest

You may know Tig Notaro for her wry ’n’ dry stand-up. Now prepare to meet Tig Notaro: action star and certified badass. The host of the hilarious Funny or Die web series Under a Rock landed a role in Zack Snyder’s latest: Army of the Dead...

Fap to the Future

It’s too bad there is no national archive for porn. No Presidential library wings dedicated to vintage copies of Swank (or HUSTLER, for that matter). Because porn is so much more than a picture on a screen or page—it’s a horny time capsule, a...

There’s Something About Mary

Like the swallows returning to Capistrano, beloved adult performer Mary Carey is back for another shot at the California gubernatorial seat. But this time she’s serious (minus the puns).“Last time I was young, dumb and full...

Misfit Toys

Sex toys in the news? It’s an embarrassment of riches. Right now, even as you read these words, a dildo is making headlines. If there were a CNN for sex, it would have a special sex toy news crawl going along the bottom of the screen. Get the...

A Slippery History

Sweet, wonderful lube—where would we be without it? The short answer is, in a lot of pain. But for all our discussion of can-it-or-can’t-it (coconut oil, yes; banana peels, no!), we’ve never considered the when and where of it all…until now....

NFTs, Porn & You

There are two types of people: those who embrace emerging technologies and explore them to their fullest and those of us who cower in a dark corner, clinging to the past. And if you fall into the latter category, then this whole NFT thing may well...

Flex That One-Pack!

You’ve been in self-isolation for over a year now. Gyms are closed. You’re tired and depressed, fighting just to get through the day. So please, take it from us: It’s okay to put on a bit of weight. But let’s do better than that; rather than...

Playing Risk

Please, leave the public porn to professionals. Uncowed by their first arrest, South Carolina residents Eric and Lori Harmon were arrested and charged again last January for filming sex acts in public, this time on the Myrtle Beach SkyWheel....

Summer Loving

It’s motherfucking summer, and COVID can kiss your vaccinated ass, because you’re going camping! Time to go over your inventory. Let’s see: Tent? Check. Sleeping bag? Check. Propane stove? You know it! Dildos? Oh, no…you left them at home! A...

Tickle Porn

One person’s stress nightmare is another’s pleasure. While some of us cannot fathom the idea of anyone coming within ten nautical miles of our sensitive feet or armpits, others are unequivocally excited by the prospect of a no-mercy tickle...

Bridgerton’s Bedroom Boom

Bridgerton is the Christmas gift that just keeps giving—over and over again, until we just…can’t…take it…anymore. Of course we’re talking about those now-legendary sex scenes that have inspired a wave of, shall we say,...

Hot Tub Hell

We need to have a serious discussion about hot tub sex. Specifically, that—despite everything you’ve seen and heard—it is not good. Or sexy. Which is crazy when you think about it, because for decades audiences have been spoon-fed the idea...

The Cost to Be the Boss

To anyone and everyone who thinks it’s easy being an online content producer, kindly go fuck yourselves. The process is time-consuming and requires multiple skill sets to get it right. More than that though, it’s not cheap. And like...

Is Miley the New Martha?

Miley Cyrus’s sex drive and sex-positive energy is hot coffee on a lazy Sunday morning: We’re all in and loving every sip. So naturally the possibility of this ethos evolving into its own lifestyle brand is almost too much to process....

“M” for Mature

Cyberpunk 2077, starring Keanu Reeves, was one of the most anticipated games of 2020, smashing sales records after umpteen delays. Unfortunately, it launched with a whopping number of embarrassing bugs and glitches, none of which grabbed headlines...

Nicolas Cage Noshes on What?

In life there is a sliding scale of weirdness. It’s not so much math as it is perspective, particularly as it applies to people. Say, for example, your friend told you that he woke up to find a naked stranger eating a Fudgsicle...