Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

Cartoons

Illustrated monthly funnies

Jokes

Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

Unapologetic political satire

close slideout
Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
Magazine new arrow

April 2024

Featuring Kendra Sunderland
Join HUSTLER Magazine trial promo image

Intro Offer:
3 days for only $0.99!

Back to Humor

Literary Smut

If you’re a fan of twisted porn parodies full of heart and hot fucking, then chances are that WoodRocket has been on your radar for quite some time. Now the director of such contemporary classics as Mr. Rimjob’s Neighborwood and Aladdick is...

Love What You Do

Can too much of a good thing not be good? If we’re talking about donuts or cocaine, yes, absolutely—consume that shit in moderation or reap the consequences. But porn? Hook it to our veins! And what if, on top of watching, you were paid to do...

Normcore Kink

Let it be said for the umpteenth time that HUSTLER never has and never will engage in the act of kink shaming. So long as it’s safe, consensual and we’re outside of the splash zone, then you have our full support. But what happens when the...

Mother’s Milk

Breasts…they’re the best. And we’ll take any opportunity to celebrate them in all of their engorged glory. So if you tell us that August 1 to 7 is World Breastfeeding Week, then pour us a warm glass of celebration! Breast milk is life, but...

Fighting Dirty

Yes, spoilers should be punishable by slow death, but if you haven’t seen Everything Everywhere All at Once yet, then this isn’t your lucky day, friend-o. Because we’re going to talk about one of the craziest scenes from a movie that is chock...

Lights, Camera, Kink!

Reportedly, Angelina Jolie gets off on knife play, Ricky Martin enjoys golden showers, and Heidi Klum is into role-play! Shocking? Not really. The thing about fetishes is that you either have them or you don’t, and if you don’t, then...

Sock It to Me

If, like 30 Rock’s Liz Lemon, you harbor a “disgusting foot secret,” then boy, do we have some good news for you! No, it’s not a miracle ointment, but rather a sound argument for not taking off your socks in bed. As to the actual science...

The Ballad of Leisure Suit Larry

Lumberjack lovers and adult gamers, unite! Logjam, the extremely NSFW indie release from developer Robert Yang, is a queer country bear jamboree, and we are here for every sweaty minute of it. Timber! Part of his gay...

Secret Cinema

Does porn make good directors great? How else do you explain the fact that so many of our favorite films, helmed by our favorite creative visionaries, were preceded by sexy smut and X-rated exploitation? Buried deep in the recesses of their...

The Casting Couch

Margot Robbie, Rhea Perlman, Ryan Gosling, Will Ferrell, Kate McKinnon—is anyone not appearing in Barbie?! This casting director needs to cool it with the nootropics. With all of these marquee names being tossed around like so much confetti, we...

Babes With Bumps

Forget the “glow” and all that Hallmark movie hooey—pregnant women are sexy, horny and very high on our to-do list. What’s got us all hot and bothered for red-hot mamas-to-be? Rewind to spring, when Us Weekly posted a compilation of celeb...

Good News, Bad News

Beware of state legislators bearing good news, for it will surely be a Trojan horse. As reported by NBC, in March the Colorado House of Representatives voted unanimously in favor of Bill 1288 (HB1288), which would “grant victims and witnesses of...

Into the Wild

The vernacular is a little different, but I think we can all agree that “hedge porn” (as it’s known across the pond) is a rite of passage for all proud pervs of a certain age. In the U.K., iNews columnist Dr. Kate Lister unwittingly opened...

Dare to Hair

Apart from lining hamster cages and soaking up urinal overflow, the New York Post is usually good for a laugh or two in the “who writes this shit” department. And occasionally, when they’re not busy outing OnlyFans creators, you get gems like...

XXX Etiquette

Did you hear the one about the airline passenger who got upgraded to first-class because the guy seated next to her was watching porn in plain sight? Actress Melanie Schofield, 19, posted the whole thing to TikTok and told the Daily Dot how the...

Porn in the USA

Oh, say can you see…the sexy red, white and blew-my-mind photos we snagged of America’s favorite X-rated sweethearts? Readers of course know that our annual Anniversary Issue (coming this July!) is awash in the colors of Old Glory, sometimes...

Aromatherapy

Hi, I’m the guy who writes Bits & Pieces. Who I am is of little importance. What matters is that I am a man with desires. One of those desires—nay, an obsession—is to bury my face between Jennifer Coolidge’s cheeks and feast upon her...

Carnal Currency

How does the anointed king of West Coast hip-hop and overpriced headphones celebrate his 57th trip around the sun? CASH. IN. THAT. CHIP! Hot on the heels of his mind-blowing Super Bowl halftime show all-star jam, Dre took to Instagram with a...

Free-Range Sex

This just in: Camping equipment manufacturer says people who camp have lots of sex! No one loves a thinly-veiled corporate survey more than us, and this one is so dumb, we can’t not poke fun. According to YourTango. com, in a poll commissioned by...

Hunt for Congress!

The New York Post, arguably the Ron DeSantis of newspapers, is a handy moral barometer, in that if you agree with what you read, then chances are, you’re a terrible person. By this logic, any person with an iota of empathy can see their artless...

Orgasms à la Carte

What do orgasms and ordering a delicious sandwich have in common? Pastrami-based fetishes notwithstanding, getting one should be a simple and shame-free experience (unless you’re at Arby’s, in which case you need help). “Tech Queen” Andrea...

Under Her Thumb

You can learn a lot from a dominatrix. And if you are an aspiring sub who hopes to stay in her good graces, then you best bone up on how to please her. It begins with basic consideration and boundaries. For instance, a domme is not a therapist. Your...

The Agony & the Ecstasy

Lovers of D/s, we have a winner! The accurate depiction of BDSM in mainstream film and TV is an elusive pleasure. So many try, and so many fail by an habitual reliance upon cliches and more cliches. So when a good one does come along, the...

Kink Couture

Paris runways, Kourtney Kardashian, Madonna at the VMAs —fetish fashion is everywhere right now (again), much to the chagrin of those who helped make it what it is. Not that there’s anything wrong with rocking latex ’n’ leather in your...