Bits & Pieces

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June 2022

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Penis Girl to the Rescue!

Portland has not had much to smile about recently. Between peaceful protests met with police brutality and piece-of-shit Proud Boys shooting passers-by with paintball guns, it’s safe to say Oregonians could use a bit of a diversion right...

Lactation Nation

What would Freud have to say? Who cares about that fossil and his outdated theories. All that matters is what makes you happy, and if breastfeeding gets you there, then suckle to your heart’s content (with consent, that is). However you choose to...

Turkey Day Stuffing

Thanksgiving, Turkey Day—whatever you call it, it’s the greatest eating day of the year. We gorge on that glorious bird, packed with enough tryptophan to knock out a rhinoceros. But what if, sitting there like a bloated bag of bones on your...

Billionaire Porn

Terrible-meme enthusiast and billionaire industrialist Elon Musk recently joined a very exclusive club. So exclusive that, to our knowledge, he is the only member (so far): billionaire porn star. Or so they wish over at Nafty, a finance platform...

Recycling Is Sexy

What happens to vibrators when they die? Existential implications aside, it’s a legitimate question. Sex toys, despite their very singular and personal purpose, are a consumer product just like any other: They are manufactured, people buy them,...

Disability Visibility

There is no standing in the way of greatness. No obstacle too high, no challenge too daunting, no cam show too sexy. That’s not to say it hasn’t been a difficult journey for GoAskAlex (Alex Resident), an award-winning model and...

Demon Sex

Goth Christmas—aka Halloween, aka the greatest, horniest holiday of the year—is once again upon us. Gather around, children of the night, as we regale you with dark tales of demon sex and the non-secular traditions that maintain its plausibility...

Remembering Dahlia Sky

In a community as tightly knit as the adult entertainment industry, it’s devastating when somebody slips through the cracks. In July we lost Dahlia Sky. The beloved performer was found dead in her car from an apparent gunshot wound. She...

Shock & Awe

The annual Cannes Film Festival is no stranger to controversy. In fact, controversy is the best part of this overblown and bloated parade of egos. Past directors have earned the ire of audiences with their “shocking” oeuvres (more on that...

MILF to Karens: Suck It

Like Batman or Dr. Fauci, Brittney Glidden is the hero we need but don’t deserve. Hailing from Maine, her fight is for freedom: the freedom to proclaim she is a proud MILF to the entire world—or at least to the person driving behind...

Pegging: A Primer

We live in a golden age of sexual awareness. From gender identity to ethical nonmonogamy, people are more open than ever to the full spectrum of what sex and sexuality have to offer. So the next time your partner broaches the topic of pegging,...

The G-Scale Explained

Some orgasms are better than others—like astral-projecting-into-an-other-dimension better. But every climax is different, with variables such as duration, intensity and stimulation all adding to the mix. For those who sport a vagina and...

The SpongeBob Blues

Photo by Nickelodeon Movies / AllStar Picture Library LTD./Alamy Even if you’re sexually adventurous and open-minded, you likely have limits. Such is the case with a Reddit user who wrote that his girlfriend has…needs. Role-play, to be specific....

Breathe Easier

Between climate change, pollen and pollution, allergy sufferers are really taking it in the nuts these days (yours truly included). A stuffed nose can totally ruin sex. But—and hold on to your hats, folks—what if sex, or orgasms for that matter,...

How to Spot a Cheater

We all have a tell: avoiding eye contact, touching our hair, whistling. And if you’re not careful, these unconscious ticks will expose you. In England, one private investigator is blowing the lid off of extramarital affairs by revealing...

Sperm in Space

Step aside, cockroaches: There’s a new indestructible biological entity in town, and it’s blasting off into space to colonize Mars. Maybe not tomorrow, but if you freeze some now, it might keep for a couple centuries, give or take. It would seem...

Our Lips Are Sealed

You’re at a party and lock eyes with a sexy stranger. Those eyes look kind of familiar. Then it dawns on you: Holy shit, am I flirting with a celebrity? You introduce yourself, down a few overwrought cocktails, then fall into a cab. Back at...

Injustice League

Photo by Picturelux/The Hollywood Archive/Alamy Is it heroic to eat pussy? Not according to the stuffed shirts at DC Comics, who swiftly squashed plans to have Batman go down on Catwoman in the R-rated animated series Harley Quinn. Here’s how it...

If You Build It, They Will Come

PHOTO BY ANDREY KOBYLKO/ALAMY Science has come a long way in perfecting the condom. Once upon a time the prospect of wearing a rubber was akin to wrapping your cock in a garbage bag: safe, but often seemed like it was...

Hidden Agenda

The vagina is a many splendored thing. A thing of beauty. A vessel for miracles. And sometimes just a vessel…like for smuggling. We take you now to Missouri, where one Amy Wilhite, 39, found herself in hot water when it was discovered, 17 days...

Porn Matters

Regular readers of Bits & Pieces will know how preoccupied we are with porn. Not just the consumption thereof, but the space that it occupies, in our homes, in our hearts—but mostly in our homes, because sooner or later, one way or the other,...

Send in the Clowns

Remember Pennywise from Stephen King’s It? Pure nightmare fuel, right? Clowns can be downright terrifying to some, but for others those chills are more akin to arousal than any sort of fear response. Yes, clown kink is very real, and we have the...

Swipe Right in COVID Fight

PHOTO BY DESIGN PICS INC/ALAMY He may be America’s slightly inappropriate grandpa, but you gotta love Joe Biden sometimes. Not only has dignity been restored to the Oval Office, but the country is well on its way to having a...

Large and in Charge

The internet is super horny for Lady Dimitrescu. For the non-gamers in the room: Lady D—full name Alcina Dimitrescu—is a character from the 2021 survival horror blockbuster Resident Evil Village. She is a nine-foot-tall vampire mommy, which...