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October 2021

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Kim-Possible

Photo by Paul Hennessy/Alamy “The best. Is yet. To come!” Shrieking into the void, noted human gargoyle Kimberly Guilfoyle’s words will echo through time, but not so much as a rallying cry for Republicans as a tacit warning that, yes, she is...

Keep on Laughing in a Free World

There’s a sense of unease in comedy circles. After four years of Trump, suddenly the deluge of material has come to an end. No more insane late-night Twitter rants, no more incoherent press conferences, no more...

Fuzzy Logic

Canadian scientists are rock stars: insulin, the discovery of stem cells, the marriage of French fries, gravy and cheese curds—truly, the world is a better place for them. But that’s all small potatoes compared to the barriers being smashed at...

Turn On to Obscure Turn-ons

Have you ever gotten turned on watching The Simpsons? Not by Marge or the two strippers who corner Smithers (“A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love,” Season 13, Episode 4), but those legs—those beautiful, sensual lemon-yellow legs....

Objects of Desire

BuzzFeed, sometimes we think you’re just making this stuff up. There seems to be no topic you can’t turn into an easily digestible list, and that goes double for tales of masturbation and self-love. Last fall we learned of TikTok user...

Bragg Loves Bush

Hindsight is 20/20, but it’s astounding how people responsible for major social media presences—like, say, the freakin’ Vatican for instance—are lacking the wherewithal and knowhow not to keep their personal shiz anywhere near what they’re...

Rudy Ruins Porn

Now that it’s all behind us, we need to take a serious look at Rudy Giuliani’s hilariously botched press conference at Four Seasons Total Landscaping in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. As political gaffes go, it’s Shakespearean in scale and scope,...

A Wish Come True

Much like the United States, Canada is dealing with some pretty awful stuff right now. Systemic racism, police violence and COVID are very real realities north of the border, which makes it even more important to celebrate social justice victories...

Edging Toward Ecstasy

As we head into what feels like the seventh consecutive year of self-isolation and social distancing, many of us are searching—desperately—for a way to mix things up in the ol’ rub ’n’ tug department. You’ve tried different...

What Women Want: The XXX Edition

Every once in a while a Buzzfeed list will hit a little differently. This September we learned what women (hetero-cisgender) wished men knew about sex so that they didn’t have to keep reminding them all the time...

Test Your Limits

If you’ve ever felt intrigued by BDSM but clueless about where you fit into the spectrum, your days of wondering are over. Behold, The BDSM Test! Think personality test, but way more fun. BDSM can be broken down into three distinct categories, or...

Chicago Frees the Nipple

If you’re a red-blooded heterosexual man who lives in Chicago and loves him some boobies, then you, my friend, owe a deep debt of gratitude to the LGBTQ+ community, not to mention one transgender performer in particular. But of course,...

The Stars Align for 2021

I think we can all agree that no one is going to miss 2020. As dumpster fires go, it was a doozy and one that we’d just as soon forget about as quickly as possible—except, of course, for the beautiful women in this industry, who gave...

Celebrity Sex Shocker!

PHOTO BY TCD/PROD.DB/ALAMY Remember the glory days of movie sex scenes in the ’80s and ’90s? An Officer and a Gentleman, Color of Night, Sliver—not only was there lots of sex, but holy moly, do we ever feel for you if you...

Safe and Sexy

Yes, the world is falling apart at an exponential rate, but goddammit, we’re going to look sexy while it’s happening. No one really wants to wear a face mask all the time, but on the other hand, we’re kind of psyched to stay alive. So we wear...

The Blooper Reel

Don’t you hate it when you spend all day preparing to carry out a fake home invasion only to find out that someone gave you the wrong address? And then, when you try to explain to the owner that it’s just an elaborate role-play fantasy, they...

When Sex Isn’t Sex

As the world burns, those of us responsible enough to stay inside are binging the hell out of whatever the streaming platforms have to offer. Maybe you caught the recent TV adaptation of Get Shorty, available now on Netflix. Starring Ray Romano, the...

Hardcore & Chill

You know—just thinking out loud here—watching porn doesn’t have to be a uniquely solitary experience. If you’re a male reading this, you might be surprised to know how many women read HUSTLER. And if you’re a woman reading this, hi! Thanks...

S3x Worker Superheroes

You know what would really help break up that quarantine boredom? A set of sexy-ass collectible trading cards to pore over. And what if, in purchasing said cards, you would be helping to support the LGBTQI and sex worker communities? Why,...

The Doctor Is In!

File under “E” for effort? The University of Mississippi got a lesson in fact-checking in September when Ole Miss announced it would honor healthcare workers by adorning stadium drinking cups with workers’ images. Great idea, except for one...

Better Sex Now

Remember growing up and always being told that the only limit to potential is your imagination? My friends, it’s time to tap into that creative wellspring. Health authorities are unequivocal in their pandemic guidelines: The safest sex right now...

Pushin’ Cushions

Want to get paid to fuck? Well, then, baby, your ship has arrived. Welcome to the wonderful world of quality control. From the KUTV newsroom in Salt Lake City comes a story that could change your life. Sleep Standards is a sleeping research and...

Hear, Hear! In Praise of Aural Sex

Audio porn has been around for a while. It can be hot as hell and both a welcome diversion and powerful alternative to video. But whereas once there was maybe only a handful of decent audio options, content is now...

Sex Dolls Down Under

As America stares down the barrel of a second wave, pandemic-weary folks are searching for alternatives—scratch that—“acceptable substitutes” for human intimacy. And you know what? Scratch “human.” Right about now intimacy, human or...