Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

Cartoons

Illustrated monthly funnies

Jokes

Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

Unapologetic political sattire

close slideout
Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
Magazine new arrow

October 2021

Join HUSTLER Magazine trial promo image

Intro Offer:
3 days for only $1.35!

Back to Humor

There’s Something About Mary

Like the swallows returning to Capistrano, beloved adult performer Mary Carey is back for another shot at the California gubernatorial seat. But this time she’s serious (minus the puns).“Last time I was young, dumb and full...

Misfit Toys

Sex toys in the news? It’s an embarrassment of riches. Right now, even as you read these words, a dildo is making headlines. If there were a CNN for sex, it would have a special sex toy news crawl going along the bottom of the screen. Get the...

A Slippery History

Sweet, wonderful lube—where would we be without it? The short answer is, in a lot of pain. But for all our discussion of can-it-or-can’t-it (coconut oil, yes; banana peels, no!), we’ve never considered the when and where of it all…until now....

NFTs, Porn & You

There are two types of people: those who embrace emerging technologies and explore them to their fullest and those of us who cower in a dark corner, clinging to the past. And if you fall into the latter category, then this whole NFT thing may well...

Flex That One-Pack!

You’ve been in self-isolation for over a year now. Gyms are closed. You’re tired and depressed, fighting just to get through the day. So please, take it from us: It’s okay to put on a bit of weight. But let’s do better than that; rather than...

Playing Risk

Please, leave the public porn to professionals. Uncowed by their first arrest, South Carolina residents Eric and Lori Harmon were arrested and charged again last January for filming sex acts in public, this time on the Myrtle Beach SkyWheel....

Summer Loving

It’s motherfucking summer, and COVID can kiss your vaccinated ass, because you’re going camping! Time to go over your inventory. Let’s see: Tent? Check. Sleeping bag? Check. Propane stove? You know it! Dildos? Oh, no…you left them at home! A...

Tickle Porn

One person’s stress nightmare is another’s pleasure. While some of us cannot fathom the idea of anyone coming within ten nautical miles of our sensitive feet or armpits, others are unequivocally excited by the prospect of a no-mercy tickle...

Bridgerton’s Bedroom Boom

Bridgerton is the Christmas gift that just keeps giving—over and over again, until we just…can’t…take it…anymore. Of course we’re talking about those now-legendary sex scenes that have inspired a wave of, shall we say,...

Hot Tub Hell

We need to have a serious discussion about hot tub sex. Specifically, that—despite everything you’ve seen and heard—it is not good. Or sexy. Which is crazy when you think about it, because for decades audiences have been spoon-fed the idea...

The Cost to Be the Boss

To anyone and everyone who thinks it’s easy being an online content producer, kindly go fuck yourselves. The process is time-consuming and requires multiple skill sets to get it right. More than that though, it’s not cheap. And like...

Is Miley the New Martha?

Miley Cyrus’s sex drive and sex-positive energy is hot coffee on a lazy Sunday morning: We’re all in and loving every sip. So naturally the possibility of this ethos evolving into its own lifestyle brand is almost too much to process....

“M” for Mature

Cyberpunk 2077, starring Keanu Reeves, was one of the most anticipated games of 2020, smashing sales records after umpteen delays. Unfortunately, it launched with a whopping number of embarrassing bugs and glitches, none of which grabbed headlines...

Nicolas Cage Noshes on What?

In life there is a sliding scale of weirdness. It’s not so much math as it is perspective, particularly as it applies to people. Say, for example, your friend told you that he woke up to find a naked stranger eating a Fudgsicle...

Good News for Your Bits & Pieces

Look, we get it—not everyone is blessed with a monster dong. The majority of us are decidedly average, but Pete Davidson isn’t the only one bringing big dick energy to the table: Your penis is more awesome than you...

Lone Star Dildos

For a country that brands itself the Land of the Free, it can feel like a real slap in the face when Big Government tries to tell us how many sex toys we can own. We go now to the Lone Star State, where unsuspecting Texans have actually been charged...

Listen to Cherie

Make no mistake, sex workers and adult-industry performers are the proverbial canary in the coal mine; when they speak up about censorship, discrimination and injustice, we would be wise to listen. And while most of us are ecstatic to see the...

Advanced Sexercise

Let’s get down to brass tacks: What can doggy-style fucking do for my golf swing? Apparently different physical positions yield different physical benefits. Hats off then to WomanandHome.com, who give us a road map of sorts to using sex positions...

Survey Says…

Like most of us, student Niall Moran from Cornwall in the U.K. had completed his share of surveys, but it’s doubtful any were as surprising as the one he received from a casual hookup who asked him to rate his experience. “Thanks for the shag,...

Love Lexicon

Like it or lump it, language is always evolving—how else would a term like Scooby Snack have found its way into the venerated Oxford English Dictionary? There’s no doubt 2020 had a huge impact on how we articulate life in extraordinary times;...

In the Flesh

Do vegans really have better, more ferocious sex than their carnivore counterparts? If you were looking for a serious scientific breakdown of this oddly specific question, keep walking, buddy. Dating website IllicitEncounters.com recently quizzed...

Lose the Rude Attitude

Riddle me this: What kind of psychopath callously decimates their lover’s feelings in the tender moments following climax? It doesn’t matter if the sex wasn’t great or if the other person smells weirdly of soup; we should all be...

Stop Living in Denial

Look, we’ve been here before…too many times. But apparently it bears repeating ad infinitum, so here it is once more for the folks up in the rafters: If a politician/decision-maker/policy wonk is fervently anti-gay, we have to question...

Self-care Affairs

News flash: Ashley Madison is in the business of cheating. And if clients believe cheating is good for them, then your business is laughing all the way to the bank. We take you now to a Cosmopolitan article where the world-famous adultery hookup...