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February 2023

Kiara Cole
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Scary Sexy

In the world of adult entertainment, one name is synonymous with porn parodies that continually delight, entertain and arouse: the visionary himself, director Axel Braun. Fun fact, Axel’s first-ever foray into sexy satire was for HUSTLER: the 2009...

Gentlemen Prefer Goths

Luna Dahlia is the nightmare of your dreams. A goth escort hailing from the ninth circle of hell, our special guest columnist for this year’s Halloween issue muses on the undying appeal of dark temptresses and how there’s no boner like...

Cinema of the Damned!

Tired of the same old vampire movies every October? Granted, Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) and The Hunger (1983) are classics for a reason, but the canon goes so much deeper than the hits. This year, sink your teeth into the sweet flesh...

Halloween Hotties

Is a bunny scary? Depends on the bunny and whether or not it’s been eating raspberries (we can’t get enough of those videos, seriously). Suffice it to say, Halloween is so much more than frights and undead horrors—sometimes Halloween can be...

Double Bs The Documentary

The history and relationship of nudity in horror is essential learning, but who wants to read a dry academic dissertation when you can watch topless alt babes discuss it in depth on camera? Is it exploitation? More like meta-exploitation,...

Hot for Teacher

Remember school? If you’d rather not, you are not alone. Between the Guantanamo-grade bullying and circus-grade cafeteria food, being a schoolkid is not exactly fodder for rose-hued nostalgia. But every so often the heavens seemed to smile...

Canary in the Strip Club

Strippers can teach us oodles about the world we live in. And in a free market economy, no one is better equipped to predict the future than those who deal in lap dances and pole gymnastics. When an economy is hurtling toward recession,...

Raye of Hope

Stop us if this sounds familiar: You want to try something new in the bedroom or wherever you enjoy throwing down. You summon the courage and make your move, only to be met with confusion. Or worse, laughter. Cue embarrassment and shame. We really...

Boy Toy Joy

Emma Thompson, you’ve done it again! We’re referring, of course, to Thompson’s latest screen triumph, the sexy yet profoundly sensitive Good Luck to You, Leo Grande, in which she plays a retired widow who hires an attractive male escort to...

Literary Smut

If you’re a fan of twisted porn parodies full of heart and hot fucking, then chances are that WoodRocket has been on your radar for quite some time. Now the director of such contemporary classics as Mr. Rimjob’s Neighborwood and Aladdick is...

Love What You Do

Can too much of a good thing not be good? If we’re talking about donuts or cocaine, yes, absolutely—consume that shit in moderation or reap the consequences. But porn? Hook it to our veins! And what if, on top of watching, you were paid to do...

Normcore Kink

Let it be said for the umpteenth time that HUSTLER never has and never will engage in the act of kink shaming. So long as it’s safe, consensual and we’re outside of the splash zone, then you have our full support. But what happens when the...

Mother’s Milk

Breasts…they’re the best. And we’ll take any opportunity to celebrate them in all of their engorged glory. So if you tell us that August 1 to 7 is World Breastfeeding Week, then pour us a warm glass of celebration! Breast milk is life, but...

Fighting Dirty

Yes, spoilers should be punishable by slow death, but if you haven’t seen Everything Everywhere All at Once yet, then this isn’t your lucky day, friend-o. Because we’re going to talk about one of the craziest scenes from a movie that is chock...

Lights, Camera, Kink!

Reportedly, Angelina Jolie gets off on knife play, Ricky Martin enjoys golden showers, and Heidi Klum is into role-play! Shocking? Not really. The thing about fetishes is that you either have them or you don’t, and if you don’t, then...

Sock It to Me

If, like 30 Rock’s Liz Lemon, you harbor a “disgusting foot secret,” then boy, do we have some good news for you! No, it’s not a miracle ointment, but rather a sound argument for not taking off your socks in bed. As to the actual science...

The Ballad of Leisure Suit Larry

Lumberjack lovers and adult gamers, unite! Logjam, the extremely NSFW indie release from developer Robert Yang, is a queer country bear jamboree, and we are here for every sweaty minute of it. Timber! Part of his gay...

Secret Cinema

Does porn make good directors great? How else do you explain the fact that so many of our favorite films, helmed by our favorite creative visionaries, were preceded by sexy smut and X-rated exploitation? Buried deep in the recesses of their...

The Casting Couch

Margot Robbie, Rhea Perlman, Ryan Gosling, Will Ferrell, Kate McKinnon—is anyone not appearing in Barbie?! This casting director needs to cool it with the nootropics. With all of these marquee names being tossed around like so much confetti, we...

Babes With Bumps

Forget the “glow” and all that Hallmark movie hooey—pregnant women are sexy, horny and very high on our to-do list. What’s got us all hot and bothered for red-hot mamas-to-be? Rewind to spring, when Us Weekly posted a compilation of celeb...

Good News, Bad News

Beware of state legislators bearing good news, for it will surely be a Trojan horse. As reported by NBC, in March the Colorado House of Representatives voted unanimously in favor of Bill 1288 (HB1288), which would “grant victims and witnesses of...

Into the Wild

The vernacular is a little different, but I think we can all agree that “hedge porn” (as it’s known across the pond) is a rite of passage for all proud pervs of a certain age. In the U.K., iNews columnist Dr. Kate Lister unwittingly opened...

Dare to Hair

Apart from lining hamster cages and soaking up urinal overflow, the New York Post is usually good for a laugh or two in the “who writes this shit” department. And occasionally, when they’re not busy outing OnlyFans creators, you get gems like...

XXX Etiquette

Did you hear the one about the airline passenger who got upgraded to first-class because the guy seated next to her was watching porn in plain sight? Actress Melanie Schofield, 19, posted the whole thing to TikTok and told the Daily Dot how the...