Bits & Pieces

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June 2022

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Stupid Sexy Ketchup!

The horror…the horror. Of sexy ketchup. Every person has their line in the sand. For Adrian Shann of Hull (U.K.), that line was crossed when a Pizza Hut turned condiments into pornography. I mean, how else was he to interpret a bottle of ketchup...

Save Our Sand

Tourists are the worst. Economically they’re a necessary evil, but there are limits—and Spain is drawing the line at habitat destruction by way of wanton public fornication. It’s called “cruiser trampling” and threatens to destroy a...

High-Heeled Hooey

Have foot fetishists infiltrated academia? Far be it for us to cast aspersions, but it’s hard not to be skeptical of a university study that claims high-heeled shoes are a woman’s ticket to bigger Os and a superhuman pelvic floor. Obviously, a...

A Very HUSTLER Valentine’s Day

Love it or hate it, Valentine’s Day is Christmas for romantics. And while everyone is entitled to their kicks, the tired cliches of this annual schmaltz-fest can get tedious real fast. If overpriced restaurants, roses and gas...

Kiarra Kai Update

Remember Kiarra Kai, the free spirit from our July 2021 issue (“Models Without Borders”) who gave up her L.A. apartment, bought a short bus and is living her best life as a sexy, fearless nomad? She’s still at it, driving all across this...

Tears of a Clown

It doesn’t feel like so long ago when we once collectively scoffed at the existence of men’s rights. To quote Leslie Knope, the stalwart bureaucrat of NBC’s Parks and Recreation, “Men’s rights is nothing.” Well, what was once a petty...

Dare to Care

The kink community has a lot to teach us about sex and sexuality. The primacy of consent is a big one, as is the importance of communication and respect for your partner. Another mainstay of BDSM: aftercare. Be you vanilla or defiantly not vanilla,...

Munching with Missy

When you want to learn how to do something right, you go to the experts. And while gay men don’t have an exclusive on eating ass, it certainly pays to listen to someone who does it with passion and gusto. Last November, Vice contributor Navin...

Handjobs for Health!

Readers of Bits & Pieces (we know you’re out there, people who buy HUSTLER for the “articles”) know how much we love self-love in all its forms. It’s a great stress-buster, helps you sleep, releases delicious dopamine into your...

Fahrenheit 451: Wyoming

No one loved a book bonfire quite like the Nazis. Of course, that was 80 years ago in Germany. Closer to home, in present day Wyoming, fascism is alive and well in Cheyenne’s libraries. As reported by NBC News, librarians in the Equality...

Five-Knuckle Virtuosos

How do they do it? The speed, the precision, the swagger—what is the secret to lightning-fast shredding? Blink-182 guitarist Tom DeLonge knows a thing or two about face-melting guitar solos, and he has a theory that gives new purpose to...

The Future of Strip Clubs

Look, let’s face it: Strip clubs may never be the same again. COVID is not going away any time soon, too many people are resistant to vaccines (as in stupid, not physiologically), and to be honest, strip clubs are just bars with...

The Best of Simulated Sex

Simultaneous orgasms. No discussion of contraception. Bras that never come off. When tasked with depicting erotic congress in film and on TV, the entertainment industrial complex shows us how little they know—or care—about real sex. An...

Anally Accurate

Pity the poor souls who sit on school boards in Texas, for they are tireless punching bags of an irretrievably stupid society. At a meeting meant to focus on COVID-19 measures, local anti-vaxxer and conspiracy wingnut Kara Q. Bell quickly derailed...

A View to 2022

So long, 2021—don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out. Frustration and fear aside, one must remain optimistic if we are to survive a pandemic, climate change and the simultaneous collapse of Western civilization. Big smiles, everybody!...

Before the Ball Drops

With a new calendar year right around the corner, time is running out fast for completing those 2021 to-dos. Maybe you resolved to start working out (lifting beer is exercise, right?) or watch less porn (how dare you—I thought we were...

Censorship: The Game

America is going through some pretty heavy shit right now. Between the war on women in Texas to the less-funny-by-the-second anti-vax movement, patriotism is in short supply these days. But like a mother lecturing her fussy child about how those...

Gooning 101

Do you goon? Are you a gooner or goonette? Do you have a goon cave? How many screens? Are you a hand jockey, or are toys part of your repertoire? Do you identify as pornosexual? If you want to masturbate with the best, then it’s time to level up...

The Geography of Hot

What makes a country sexy? Is it the people? The food? The availability of nude beaches? It’s nebulous at best, and any attempts to quantify it would be in vain. But when did that ever stop people from trying? A recent attempt by writer Yasmin...

Wonder Domme?

That bustier, those bracelets—and don’t forget the golden lariat! Is it any wonder that our favorite metahuman is steeped in BDSM culture? No? Well, we’re going to explain it anyway. HUSTLER proudly presents…Wonder Woman: XXX Origins. The...

Naughty Noël

Well, the weather outside is frightful, but the porn is so delightful… Christmas is a time for family, food, bad sweaters and perhaps most importantly yuletide-themed adult content from all of your favorite creators. So, in the spirit of the...

Dear Jessie…

Every once in a while men don’t suck (I’m a man and have the self-awareness to know that my gender can do way better). Sex is about pleasure, yours and your partner’s, but altruism is oft overlooked in the pursuit of self-pleasure. You know...

In Love With Lust

Erika Lust, you’ve done it again! The legendary adult filmmaker (go watch Primary now!) is a shoo-in for Boss of the Year, and not just because of her commitment to diversity and female-centric pleasure. To support the well-being of her 36...

Britney, Let’s Talk

Hi, Britney. Longtime fan, first-time open letter writer. We here at HUSTLER have been following your experiences closely and want you to know that we are here to offer our support, solidarity and, if you’re interested, a platform to share your...