Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Vibrategate
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, and it threatens to unravel the very fabric of society. Vibrating anal beads, once a harmless sex toy, are at the epicenter of multiple scandals involving extremely unsportsmanlike conduct. And frankly,...
Pillow Hacks
If you thought pillows were just for sleep and occasionally smothering your enemies, then boy, do we have some fun news for you about this multifaceted bedroom staple/murder weapon. Doctors at a private medical clinic in New York were able to...
Emojis For Dummies
Full disclosure: The HUSTLER editorial team skews Millennials and older. And as much as we try to stay on top of current trends, we must admit that this latest revelation was a tough pill to swallow: The thumbsup emoji is out! If, like us, you lean...
In the Key of Sex
We really feel for Reddit user TylerLife, who recently got dragged all over the internet for his shall we say unorthodox taste in music. Don’t get us wrong—everything has its place in time and space, but less so when curating your sex playlist....
Perfect Pairs
Pairing wine and food is as much science as it is instinct. Yes, most shellfish are best enjoyed with a crisp white, but ultimately, it’s about what works for you and your particular palette. There is no crime in enjoying a robust claret with your...
Christmas Cuties
It’s that time of year again, when we hang our stockings and gather ’round the hearth to toast another yuletide season. But if you’re more Larry Flynt than Norman Rockwell, then boy, oh, boy, do we have a Christmas present for you! Yes, dear...
Hot for Mascots
It’s been a wild year, but even we didn’t have “the yassification of Gritty” on our 2022 bingo cards. Smash-cut to September, when an attendee at DragonCon in Georgia tweeted out a photo of a cosplayer who had accomplished the seemingly...
HUSTLER @ the Movies: “Orgazmo”
History will judge Trey Parker and Matt Stone as the greatest cultural arbiters of our era. The scorched-earth satire of South Park is a gift, but let’s not forget that they also blessed us with some of the most...
Satanic Panic
There are many reasons to love the latest and greatest season of the Duffer brothers’ Netflix smash hit, Stranger Things: the stellar cast, the practical effects, Kate Bush, Metallica—but best of all? Its unabashed love for the greatest...
Cock Ring Bling
Custom sneakers are for basic bitches. As a rapper in 2022-23, you’re just a giant pile of irrelevance unless your side hustle includes a handmade, jewel-studded, 18-karat cock ring. Because nothing says “baller” like $25,000 worth of ice and...
The (SE)X Files
With the oversaturation of true crime and murder podcasts, it’s a shame that no one wants to talk about the greatest mystery of Pandemic Times: Why the sharp and sudden drop-off in public sex? At the behest of our lawyers, we are obliged to state...
Sex on the First Date?
Sex on the first date: yea or nay? Not you, dude. This one is for the ladies. Because unlike men, women are made to carry some unfortunate and patently unfair baggage when consenting to a hot fuck sans courtship. Safety, stigma, the...
A Very Vore Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving, Turkey Day, Black Friday Eve—whatever you want to call it, the holiday is first and foremost a food odyssey. Specifically, that succulent bird and all the mouthwatering trimmings you know and love. Personally, we’re...
The Breeders
“What’s the deal with breeding?!” Seriously though, what does it mean to have a breeding kink, and how is it more than just a deliberate creampie surprise? As with any fetish, it’s open to interpretation. Some people actually want to get...
Halloween Hotties
Is a bunny scary? Depends on the bunny and whether or not it’s been eating raspberries (we can’t get enough of those videos, seriously). Suffice it to say, Halloween is so much more than frights and undead horrors—sometimes Halloween can be...
Double Bs The Documentary
The history and relationship of nudity in horror is essential learning, but who wants to read a dry academic dissertation when you can watch topless alt babes discuss it in depth on camera? Is it exploitation? More like meta-exploitation,...
Die Like a Pro
Want to scream like the queens? Welcome to Rebecca Vanguard’s Fetish Horror Acting Master Class. The first three rows will be sprayed in viscera. Rebecca has been making porn since 2017, but did you know that she is also an award-winning actor and...
Scary Sexy
In the world of adult entertainment, one name is synonymous with porn parodies that continually delight, entertain and arouse: the visionary himself, director Axel Braun. Fun fact, Axel’s first-ever foray into sexy satire was for HUSTLER: the 2009...
Gentlemen Prefer Goths
Luna Dahlia is the nightmare of your dreams. A goth escort hailing from the ninth circle of hell, our special guest columnist for this year’s Halloween issue muses on the undying appeal of dark temptresses and how there’s no boner like...
Cinema of the Damned!
Tired of the same old vampire movies every October? Granted, Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) and The Hunger (1983) are classics for a reason, but the canon goes so much deeper than the hits. This year, sink your teeth into the sweet flesh...
Hot for Teacher
Remember school? If you’d rather not, you are not alone. Between the Guantanamo-grade bullying and circus-grade cafeteria food, being a schoolkid is not exactly fodder for rose-hued nostalgia. But every so often the heavens seemed to smile...
Canary in the Strip Club
Strippers can teach us oodles about the world we live in. And in a free market economy, no one is better equipped to predict the future than those who deal in lap dances and pole gymnastics. When an economy is hurtling toward recession,...
