Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, and it threatens to unravel the very fabric of society. Vibrating anal beads, once a harmless sex toy, are at the epicenter of multiple scandals involving extremely unsportsmanlike conduct. And frankly, we can’t sit idly by as an innocent victim is maliciously, unjustifiably maligned.
It all started in September, when U.S. chess prodigy Hans Niemann, 19, was accused of cheating in his win over opponent and crowned champion Magnus Carlsen, 31, from Norway. As of publication, this was still very much a conspiracy theory and likely originated as a joke in a chess-related subreddit. But at no point did anyone say that it couldn’t be done. Still, Niemann vehemently denies the allegations: “If they want me to strip fully naked, I will do it. I don’t care. Because I know I am clean,” he told the St. Louis Chess Club, according to BuzzFeed News.