Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Sex Work Matters
With 2020 fast approaching and impeachment still a long shot, the Democrats vying to take on Trump are piled higher than a zombie horde out of World War Z. But where are the candidates of substance, who stand for something other than...
Like Father, Like Son
You all remember former Penn State assistant football coach, Jerry Sandusky, who was convicted of diddling young boys? Allow us to refresh your memory. Five years ago Coach Sandusky was outed for a decade’s worth of perverted cock...
Deleted But Not Defeated
Not all users are equal in the eyes of social media, and no one knows this better than the oft-fucked-over sex workers whose accounts are arbitrarily deleted or suspended simply by virtue of what they do for a living. The situation peaked...
Big Bucks In Smut
Here’s a free life lesson for you: Don’t ever, ever store anything at your parents’ house. Because like any aging mother or father, they will inevitably go through a massive, Marie Kondo-like purge and get rid of anything that...
The Real Fake News: Dems Introduce “Meh, What Can You Do?” Act
WASHINGTON, D.C.—As calls for impeachment grow around the country, and within the House Democratic caucus, House leadership has drafted a scathing...
Hot Button
Hot Button While some state governments are busy dismantling female reproductive rights and enabling rapists to sue their victims for child custody, other less-heinous elected officials are doing their part to make the world a little less shitty for...
Cho Headlines Minority Reportz
“I wanted to fuck Bristol Palin,” confessed Margaret Cho during April’s Ethnic AF Comedy Show at the Matrix Theatre in West Hollywood. She encountered the famous teen mom on ABC’s Dancing With the Stars and...
Brooklyn Is for Lovers
There’s something kind of magical happening in Brooklyn right now—well, Bushwick to be specific, a neighborhood located in the north end of this beloved NYC borough. There a community is emerging rooted in shared values like love,...
The Real Fake News: Nation Shocked to Learn Wealthy Buy Advantages
SANTA MONICA, CA—In the wake of the college admissions scandal, in which 50 people were charged on multiple counts of bribery and fraud, many...
Lisa Simpson for President
Now that a reality-TV star has proven that anyone can be elected President in America, The Donald is facing a formidable foe. A Fort Lauderdale-born woman has adopted the identity of Lisa Simpson (from The...
Happy, Healthy…Kinky
Admit it, you’re curious about kink. Maybe you saw Fifty Shades of Grey, or someone bought you Shibari rope as a wedding gift that now sits in a drawer, sad and unused. Well, dust that shit off and get busy learning knots, because science has...
Sex in the City
Nothing says sexy quite like cutting loose in…Morgantown, West Virginia? You see, this is what happens when you let a sex toy company use its own data to promote romantic tourism. It’s a pretty common marketing ploy. In this instance, sex toy...
Sad Little Weiner
Former congressman and human trainwreck Anthony Weiner has seen better days. He is reportedly back in New York after finishing his term in a Massachusetts prison where he may or may not have been passed around like a plate of hors d’oeuvres....
Florida: WTF
Florida, America’s sweaty ball sac (thank you, Patton Oswalt), earned its reputation as the most batshit crazy state in the union. And it continues to defend this dubious title, day after day, racking up insane headlines. There are columns and...
Circus of Depravity
Remember Wife Swap, the program where two women from diverse backgrounds traded families and homes for a couple weeks? As guilty pleasures go, the reality series was not totally without merit: Watching a Southern belle wake up at 3 a.m. to milk...
The Real Fake News: Dozens Hospitalized With Giuliani Poisoning
ATLANTA, GA—The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is urging East Coast residents to avoid Rudolph Giuliani after an outbreak of...
Four Score & Seven Boners Ago
Fanfiction is a very broad term that encompasses all kinds of fantasy scenarios between characters, be they real or imagined. There’s gay Teen Wolf fanfic, Marvel Universe fanfic and reams of erotic scenarios...
A Sack of Shit for a Sack of Shit
Some ideas are so simple, so perfect that you can’t help but be mad at yourself for not thinking of it first. Sometimes it’s a new spin on an existing product—an innovation that elevates the mundane to new heights...
Long Story Short: How to Measure Your Penis
The way it’s debated, you’d think that dick size and the measurement thereof was akin to string theory and other hotly contested topics. But even particle physics is beholden to the facts. And so it is...
The Real Fake News: White House Announces “Snitches Get Stitches” Policy
WASHINGTON, D.C.—A White House increasingly in the grip of paranoia has issued a “Snitches Get Stitches” antileak policy, forcing staffers to...
Audio Porn: Hard of Hearing
Sometimes all it takes is a faint smell to trigger a reaction and inspire arousal. Similarly, take away one sense, and the others step in to process stimuli. When it comes to porn, we experience the content primarily by watching...
Sex Workers Vote!
To say that sex workers have had a rough couple of years would be the understatement of the century. Persecuted and scapegoated since the dawn of the trade itself, folks who choose to use their bodies as they see fit have never had a voice—until...
