Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
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Hardcore Gamer
SEXY, HILARIOUS AND HUMBLE, MISSY MARTINEZ IS THE TOTAL PACKAGE. SINCE BURSTING ONTO THE PORN SCENE IN 2009, SHE’S SCORED A LEGION OF FANS EAGER TO HEAR HER NEXT JOKE OR OGLE HER TITANIC TATAS. WHEN SHE’S...
Politics
Vicious Guard Dog?
Trying to take a bite out of Apple Inc., the FBI descended into a hell of its own when Director James B. Comey demanded that the tech giant create special software that bypasses an iPhone’s passcode,...
Politics
Raging Bull
The U.S. Supreme Court’s decades-long lurch to the hard right may finally have come to a blessed end with the sudden death of its most vocal wingnut, Associate Justice Antonin Scalia. Albany Law School...
Bits & Pieces
Government Boobs
Is there a sale on intolerant boobs in New Hampshire? State Senator Nancy Stiles (Republican, natch!) was mortified when 54-year-old Heidi Lilley and 23-year-old Kia Sinclair went topless at Hampton Beach last...
Bits & Pieces
Hookers for Hillary
Brothel owner (and author! and reality TV star!) Dennis “My business is built on privacy and discretion” Hof likes attention, so his Hookers for Hillary campaign might seem like nothing more than a...
Bits & Pieces
Caligula Dot Com
The party is winding down at Zenefits, a human-resources tech startup once valued at $4.5 billion. Its CEO Parker Conrad resigned after concerns about the company’s failure to meet legal compliances and its...
Bits & Pieces
Porn Is Good for You
Ever since serial killer/knob Ted Bundy blamed hardcore pornography for fueling his horrendous crimes, many a misguided soul has taken it for granted that porn consumption leads to the objectification and...
Bits & Pieces
Trump’s Teenie Weenie
You know things are going badly for the GOP when even a Fox News focus group spits out words like “shameful,” “disappointing,” “despicable” and “disgusting” to describe the debate...
Bits & Pieces
Carmen Electrifies
Here at HUSTLER, we dig into shit, in this case Kocktails With Khloé, so you don’t have to. We’re not sure who’s responsible for greenlighting this, the latest spelling-challenged, televised turd to...
Bits & Pieces
Truly Mortifying
The hundreds gathered at Thornhill Crematorium in Cardiff to mourn a man killed in a car accident were horrified to see hardcore porn projected during the funeral service. The X-rated footage appeared on a...
Bits & Pieces
Young John’s Schlong
“I can keep an erection almost indefinitely,” porn legend John Holmes told HUSTLER in 1983. “I can also keep an erection straddling a girl at the edge of a cliff, looking down at 300 feet of nothing,...
Bits & Pieces
Club Girl: Shavelle Love
Shavelle declares. “It’s a place where anything goes. I love the heat. Traffic isn’t bad. Everything is open. Parking is never a problem. And there’s always a pool party somewhere!”...
Bits & Pieces
Rooms With a View
Suspecting that she might be her generation’s Don McCullin, 17-year-old Jo Broughton wanted to change the world through photography. Thing is, she sucked at art school. “I was really bad,” she laughs....
Bits & Pieces
Furry Fury
Hey, furries, Tony the Tiger has had it up to here with your smutty tweets. The Kellogg cereal mascot tried being patient with the furry fans who flooded his official Twitter account with lewd, lascivious...
Bits & Pieces
Hap-Penis
The world’s first FDA-cleared penis implant is here. Yeah, yeah—we know, bigger isn’t better, and most women say they don’t care how big a dick is (according to a 2014 report based on a study of 26,437...
Bits & Pieces
Satan Is My Copilot
Even those who avoid the Trinity Broadcasting Network got a nice whiff of bullshit when a segment from Kenneth Copeland’s Believer’s Voice of Victory recently went viral. Copeland, truly one of today’s...
Bits & Pieces
Somewhere, An Egret Cried
Pointing a gun at a Federal officer is a crime, but for almost a month, the government response to the antigovernment protest at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon was restrained, at...
