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Asshole of the Month: Eric Bolling

It’s no surprise that Eric Bolling’s favorite TV show is The Walking Dead. That’s not just because he walks among the zombies at Fox News or because station chief Roger Ailes has obviously chowed down on major portions of his brain. It’s because—judging by his ravings on Fox’s pundit show The Five—Bolling imagines himself surrounded...

politics

The Smear Matrix

Porn has a new hotshot, and I fear for Larry Flynt’s financial future now that Big Brother is challenging him for market share. Who needs HUSTLER Magazine when you have the British intelligence agency Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ)—in cahoots with America’s National Security Agency—setting “honey traps” to snare or blackmail individuals by enticing them into...

politics

America Or China?

Back in the 1950s and ’60s, when FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover was convinced that a huge number of citizens were engaging in “un-American” activities, free-thinking friends of mine became very careful of what they said on the phone. Some even tried to disguise the titles of books and publications they bought. In my book...

politics

Asshole of the Month: Lindsey Graham

Heard this one? Why did the senator support the antigay Defense of Marriage Act? Because he was happy as a bachelor! Now don’t get us wrong, we don’t give a crap where the non-marrying, nonbreeding U.S. Senator from South Carolina Lindsey Graham sticks his shriveled Congressional member. But if he does indeed eat a bowl...

politics

Mr. Indecency

This is a fit time and place to mark the memory of one Charles Keating, the scoundrel who wanted to be remembered for having put Larry Flynt in jail. Instead, this holier-than-thou guardian of other people’s morals was locked up much longer for his own transgressions. In 1977, thanks to Keating’s incendiary crusade, Flynt was...

politics

Why I Dig Being in HUSTLER

As a reporter, historian, critic and columnist for more than 60 years, I’ve never wanted to write just for the choir—readers who always agree with me. The wider and more combative the audience, the better. So I was eager when HUSTLER Magazine not only published my article “The War on Free Speech” in October 2007...

politics

Assholes of the Month

If there’s one thing we’ve learned in four decades of writing about assholes, it’s this: An asshole taking a massive shit on our country will keep taking a massive shit on our country until somebody puts a stop to it. Call it Flynt’s First Law of Assholery. Judging by how many colossal creeps have been...

politics

Affirmative Inaction

Just days before a recorded conversation with Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling established that racism is alive and well in America, the U.S. Supreme Court decided that racial discrimination in college education is no longer a problem. Affirmative action had been the main vehicle for integrating higher education, but that door finally closed with...

politics

Banksters Are Not Our Only Option

“Epic in scale, unprecedented in world history.” That is how William K. Black—professor of law and economics and former banking regulator—describes the scams in which JPMorgan Chase (JPM) has now been implicated. They involve more than a dozen felonies, including bid-rigging on municipal bond debt; colluding to rig interest rates on hundreds of trillions of...

politics

Asshole of the Month: Tom Coburn

Early this year, Tom Coburn—the junior U.S. Senator from Oklahoma who has spent his entire career trying to plug the pipes of progress and keep people in his state below the poverty line—finally decided to do something good for the country: quit! Of course, like a good Republican manure spreader, he used the announcement that...

politics

2nd Amendment Double Standard

Once again some nutcase finds it all too easy to lay his hands on an arsenal he has no reasonable need to possess, and innocent people are randomly slaughtered. The latest example of deadly mayhem occurred in a college town in California, a state with some semblance of sane gun control, but not enough to...

politics

U.S. Education is Flunking

I wasn’t surprised to see the Wall Street Journal headline “High School Seniors’ Test Scores Stagnate,” but it did bolster my belief that Americans must address the short-comings in how students are being educated. Caroline Porter reported that “despite years of efforts to lift U.S. academic performance, 12th-graders showed no improvement in math or reading...

politics

Asshole of the Month: George Will

When we chose Pulitzer Prize-winning George Will as this month’s Asshole, we extended him an unprecedented offer: We invited him to write the column himself. Who better than the eloquent and eminently learned Mr. Will to explain how someone with such an exacting mind could at the same time be such a donkey’s ass? By...

politics

Unlikely Compatriots

I don’t mean to sully his reputation as some kind of rebel, but twice now a unanimous Supreme Court helmed by a conservative has sided with Larry Flynt on an important civil liberties call. In 1988 the Supremes backed Flynt in his legal battle with Moral Majority preacher Jerry Falwell, who took umbrage at a...

politics

Buying Up the Planet

When the U.S. Federal Reserve bought an 80% stake in American International Group (AIG) in September 2008, the unprecedented $85-billion outlay was justified as necessary to bail out the world’s largest insurance company. Today, however, central banks are on a global buying spree not to bail out bankrupt corporations but simply as an investment. Central...

politics

Asshole of the Month: David Green

Since this month’s pile of manger manure couldn’t mind his own business and had to spend his senile years fucking with women’s rights, HUSTLER enlisted my help as a writer who actually knows something about uteruses and how they work since, unlike David Green, I actually have one. Brace yourself, David, to feel the righteous...

politics

Asshole of the Month: Rick Perry

At first glance you might think that Rick Perry, the Republican governor of Texas, is good-looking. A kind of Marlboro Man—the quintessential American cowboy. That probably explains why he’s been able to stay in office so long—since 2000, when he replaced George W. Bush. In fact, both men share that cowboy mystique. But if you...

politics

Zeroing In on the Truth

Finally, the U.S. Senate Select Committee on Intelligence has been allowed to tell us the truth about torture: It doesn’t work. The CIA-endorsed lie that evidence obtained by waterboarding led U.S. Navy Seals to al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden was strategically planted by the agency in the script for the film Zero Dark Thirty. The ineffectiveness...

politics

How Far Does the 1st Amendment Go?

The rival newspapers were as opinionated as many New Yorkers and suburbanites. On May 17, 2014, the New York Post plastered its front page with “HEIL HAIL: City puts brakes on ‘Nazi’ cabby.” The Daily News came up with a similar pun: “Hail Hitler.” Provoking the furor was taxi driver Gabriel Diaz, 27, a self-described...

politics

2014 Voter’s Guide

Goddamn, there sure are a lot of assholes trying to get elected these days! But the shit-fer-brains candidates already in office are even worse since they tend to be tougher to beat. Here’s our election-year manure pile of top 10 incumbent national threats you should NOT vote for on November 4th. That is, unless you...

politics

Oil, The Almighty

In the spy trade they call it “blowback,” the unintended consequences when, for example, you rearrange the chairs in some other nation’s government, and hijacked airliners start smashing into your valued real estate. Or to get biblical and quote Job 4:8, “As I have observed, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap...

politics

Asshole of the Month: Dinesh D’Souza

As the current issue went to press, this month’s shit stain was weeping tears of phony contrition in a pathetic attempt to stay out of jail for violating campaign finance laws. Just in case the federal judge wimps out and lets him brainwash kids as “community service” rather than serve the time he deserves, we...

politics

Historical Ignorance

Sometimes you just know that you are in the hands of fools. President Barack Obama almost made it to the end of his second term without repeating George W. Bush’s disastrous errors in redesigning the tortured religious, political and ethnic landscape of the Middle East. But then he dove, headfirst, into that sweltering quagmire—and I...

politics

2016: Crossroads for Democracy

The 2016 elections may well be the most important in our country’s history. They’ll determine if there’s still time for our individual liberties to be restored before future generations get so accustomed to their disappearance that they won’t miss them at all. It is therefore imperative that a Presidential candidate will assure us that he...

politics

Asshole of the Month: Brian Kilmeade

Well, isn’t this fucking typical? HUSTLER Magazine—aka Spread Vaginas Monthly—goes after some Fox News creep for being a sexist pig! Point taken. But unlike most of the world that hates this repugnant donkey dropping for his recent wife-beating joke, we’ve been detesting him for a long time and for a lot more than his casual...

politics

Money For Main Street!

When Foreign Affairs, the mouthpiece of the policy-setting Council on Foreign Relations, runs an article recommending that the Federal Reserve do a money drop directly on the 99%, you know the central bank must be down to its last bullet. The publication’s September/October 2014 issue featured a startling proposal by Mark Blyth and Eric Lonergan...

politics

Marching Down Blunder Road

Was Saddam Hussein a danger because his arsenal included weapons of mass destruction? That was the pretext for the 2003 Iraq invasion, which left thousands of American soldiers dead or maimed while visiting death and destruction upon millions of Iraqi civilians. The region has been in turmoil ever since because the guys chosen by our...

politics

Asshole of the Month: Andrea Tantaros

This month’s assholette is only 35 years old, which is like puberty for the true shit heel. Assholes get more bitter and twisted over the years, eventually piling up more hemorrhoids of hate than any ointment could ever remedy. This Fox News floozy is well on her way to that fate. But since she’s only...

politics

Asshole of the Month: Mia Love

If you want to make people think you’re not racist, sexist or anti-immigrant, jump into bed with a black, first-generation piece of ass. That’s what the Republican Party did. Of course, the fact that you’re banging a black chick will gradually wear off, and eventually you’ll have to stop talking and acting like a sexist,...

politics

Dollar Democracy

The naked truth has been exposed, and it’s not a pretty picture! American Democracy has become Dollar Democracy. Many elected officials are bought by campaign contributions from superrich individuals and big corporations. During the 2012 election season, Presidential and Congressional candidates and their supporters raised and spent over $6.2 billion. The bulk came from the...

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