Bits & Pieces
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What does Pinocchio…
Question: What does Pinocchio’s lover say to him? Answer: “Lie to me! Lie to me!”...
Bubba got fired…
Bubba got fired from his job as a bingo caller. Apparently “a meal for two with a hairy view” is not the way to announce number 69....
Fox “News” Has a Dirty Secret
A voting technology company’s defamation lawsuit may be just the beginning of the end for Rupert Murdoch’s GOP propaganda empire. Fox “News” was never either “fair” or “balanced.” That was an ad slogan to hoax you into buying its bullshit. But Dominion Voting Systems’ $1.6-billion defamation lawsuit against Fox has laid bare that BS. Filed...
Asshole of the Month: Tucker Carlson
Fox News pioneered the dark art of pandering to the right-wing mob’s baser instincts to boost ratings and profits. But we really had no idea how hypocritical the whole charade had been until the stunning revelations flushed out in March by the Dominion Voting Systems’ $1.6-billion lawsuit against Fox. Rupert Murdoch, Sean Hannity and the...
Saturday Special: Wild Workouts
Hey, it’s National Fitness Day, an annual occasion that offers us the occasion to explore different methods of becoming fit and healthy. And what better way to get the heart rate up and work up a sweat than a good, athletic sex-fest? With that in mind, we’re hoping you’re ready to get sweaty, because we’re...
HUSTLER Two-Timers: Staci Carr
Welcome to HUSTLER Two-Timers, where we celebrate Honeys so nice, we’ve featured them twice! Today we’re focusing our attention and affection on Staci Carr, a blond, blue-eyed beauty who hails from Omaha, Nebraska, which is often referred to as the Big O—and Staci is certainly capable of causing some very Big O’s indeed. The Cornhusker...
Third-Party Access
Sure, threeways sound like a great idea—until you find yourself feeling like a third wheel that’s being neglected by the couple you’re playing with. Here’s how to avoid this common threesome buzzkill. There are undoubtedly loads of people out there right now trying to figure out how they can get into a threesome. There are...
AVN 2023: Return to Vegas!
Behind the Scenes @ the Adult Entertainment Expo Photography & Intro By Steve Prue Everything that you think happens around, during and after the AVN Awards does happen—everything!—especially after not seeing each other in the flesh for two years. It’s been a minute since the last time we were in Las Vegas and in person....
A husband texted his wife…
A husband texted his wife: “I got hit by a car after leaving the office. Tina brought me to the hospital. The blow to my head was very strong; still, it shouldn’t be anything to worry about. But I do have three broken ribs and a compound fracture in my left leg, and my right...
A little boy asked…
A little boy asked his father, “What’s lingerie?” His dad gruffly replied, “It’s an expensive way to wrap a present you’ve already seen before.”...
An oversexed young…
An oversexed young woman gave her brother a blowjob in a skyscraper’s elevator. It was wrong on so many levels....
And folks are going to love licking…
“And folks are going to love licking these new stamps.”...
BBQ Babes
Do you smell that? Breathe in deep, my friends, because summer is here, and barbecue season is officially underway. Ladies, gentlemen and nonbinary folk, start your grills! With warmer temps come scantily clad hotties with a taste for meat, sweets and all the delicious treats fit to eat under the hot, hot sun. We polled...
Before going on a first date…
Before going on a first date, Ashley got some pointers from her grandmother. “The boy will try to cuddle with you,” the old lady told her. “Allow him. He will try to kiss you. Allow him. Then he will try to lay you down and get on top of you. Don’t allow him to do...
Before he left for the unemployment office…
“Before he left for the unemployment office this morning, my husband said, ‘Fuck the goddamn bill collectors!'”...
Better the devil you know…
“Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know, I always say.”...
I have a confession…
“I have a confession—this isn’t my first rodeo.”...
Is it true what…
“Is it true what they say about a guy’s halo?”...
Nick desperately wanted…
Nick desperately wanted to quit smoking cigars, and his doctor recommended a specialist. Nick went to the guy, an M.D. who used unconventional aversion therapy with his patients. “When you go to bed at night,” the addiction doc advised, “take one of your cigars and stick it completely up your asshole. Then remove it, place...
Pilot to control…
“Pilot to control, requesting landing instructions…”...
RIP, Raquel
Remember that scene in Hannie Caulder (1971) where Raquel Welch shrinks her pants to fit her fabulous form? We do. Do we ever. For those unfamiliar with her work and complicated legacy, we are once again honored to draw deep from the well of film knowledge that is HOLLYWOOD HORROR MUSEUM (Twitter: @HorrorMuseum). No one...
Tales From the Clit! Sophia Locke
Welcome to our new, semi-regular feature where adult entertainment stars and creators share their dirtiest stories in excruciating detail. Up first is the cum-back kid herself, Sophia Locke, who remembers her first gangbang: “I was 22 and working at a barbeque restaurant with a Brazilian woman. It was her birthday, and they (she and her...
The Porn Workout
Burying the lede is an old journalism term that describes reporting in which a very, very important fact is buried way down toward the bottom of an article. “Mayor inaugurates new swing set! Oh, and someone’s baby was eaten alive by a pack of wild dogs during the ceremony. More on page A18.” It’s the...
The Speaker can’t take your call…
“The Speaker can’t take your call right now. He’s busy kissing MAGA ass.”...
Too Hot for Halftime
Was it the fire engine red breastplate? Help us out, FCC, because we’re still trying to figure out why Rihanna’s halftime show landed 103 viewer complaints. Maybe chalk it up to the Janet Jackson effect, and how one nipple has made it virtually impossible for any performer to ever meet the puritanical viewing standards of...
Harley Haze
“I took the traditional path of going to college and getting ‘good’ jobs, but that life was ho-hum boring. So I ventured into the world of camming, and I absolutely loved it. That led to my porn career. I take things day by day— I just focus on working hard....
