Search

humor

I Already Told You No Sex…

Grace said to James, her fiance, “I already told you no sex before marriage.” “But you had sex with Mike, Greg, Rex and Toby,” James pointed out. “I didn’t plan to marry those guys!” Grace shot back....

humor

Question: What’s The Difference…

Question: What’s the difference between your wife and your job? Answer: After five years your job will still suck....

humor

Dawn Told Her Doctor…

Dawn told her doctor, “My bottom hurts a lot right around the entrance.” “Young lady, your anus is an exit,” the doctor cited. “As long as you call it an entrance, it will hurt.”...

politics

Democracy Is on Your Ballot

This year you get an extra vote for the 2024 Presidential election. Please vote wisely. I am not a member of the Democratic Party, but I will vote like one this year. The Republican Party has left me (and, I would argue, you) no other option. It has clasped hands, like Thelma and Louise, with...

politics

Asshole of the Month: Dr. Mehmet Oz

If it’s true that prostitution is the world’s oldest profession, what would be the second oldest? There are many possible candidates, but a good wager would be snake oil salesman. Humanity has always been afflicted with a terrifying array of diseases and maladies; before modern medicine, dealing with them was the province of witch doctors,...

beaver

Caramel

“I wish to model nude in HUSTLER because I love my body and showing it off,” professes Caramel, 36, a “very bubbly, witty and assertive” stripper from Pulaski, Missouri. “I feel that nudity is a form of art through expression.” Yep, the 5-foot-4. 95-pound sweetie is a true-blue Show-Me Stater...

beaver

Augustine

“I was a figure model for my college’s art classes and discovered that I love posing nude,” says Augustine, 28, a psychology major from Chicago, Illinois. “The women appearing in HUSTLER are hot and powerful sex icons, so I had to give it a try.” The bodacious Windy City denizen...

beaver

Ryder Die

“I wanted to model nude in HUSTLER as another way to market myself in the adult industry,” declares Ryder Die, 25, a bartender and fledgling content creator from Rancho Palos Verdes, California. “I’m a short, sassy, flexible spitfire who loves taking it all off in front of a camera.” The...

Article

XXX Horror Fans

Need some recommendations for Halloween viewing? Some of our favorite XXX performers tell us about their love of scary movies. Have you ever wondered what horror films make some of your favorite performers’ hair stand on end and make them cover their eyes during a gory kill? Well, wonder no longer! With Halloween nearly upon...

honey

Gianna Dior

“I’m a free spirit, bubbly and outgoing, and there is really nothing more important to me than family, friends and food. My guilty pleasures are pasta and tiramisu. Watching college football is great fun, and I will literally listen to any kind of music. “Okay, now on to sex. My...

Article

Get a Leg Up Vol. 5

Legs—they’re not just for walking, they’re also for gawking! At least, they are when they’re a shapely pair of gams attached to a beautiful woman. And boy, do we have a lot of those coming your way! So put your peepers on high alert and prepare for a parade of drool-inducing pins, courtesy of some...

honey

Mila Monet

“I made my porn debut in late 2020. It was weird starting my career during the pandemic, but thankfully, it’s been working out. Before I found my agent, I was already posting sexy stuﬀ on social media and camming; so when I was contacted about doing scenes, I decided to...

Article

The Ins and Outs of Role Play

Sometimes, faking it during sex can be very satisfying indeed. Doctor and patient? Teacher and student? Boss and secretary? Here’s how to make the most of your fantasy fuck session. The days are getting shorter and the weather is cooling down, so you know what that means: time to dust off your costumes, brush out...

Article

Whacking at Work: A Cautionary Tale

Experts suggest that self-pleasure breaks at work could help reduce stress and increase productivity. But beware; if you get caught, you could end up using that hand to fill out unemployment forms. We’ve all had a job at one time or another where the big boss man is always screaming at us to stop jerking...

beaver

Sophia

“Let’s just say I’m a single lady who wants to have some wild fun,” announces Sophia, 19, an aspiring model out of Wichita, Kansas. With that in mind, the skin-mag greenhorn has come our way to display every inch of her 5-foot-4 anatomy and shed light on what’s cookin’ inside....

beaver

Enigma

“I’m a babe, and I love my body,” announces Enigma, 23, a “hilarious, bi-curious and passionate” New York City dweller. “I can cast a spell over men with my eyes,” the 6-foot-0 neophyte boasts, “but in HUSTLER I can also do it with my boobs, ass and yoni temple.” (That’s...

beaver

Mary Jane

Now earning her stripes as a skin-mag model is this “open-minded, energetic and loud” stripper by way of Gulfport, Mississippi. “I love the thought of men and women enjoying my photos,” marvels Mary Jane, 27. “I like being naked in general. I hardly ever wear clothes.” The 5-foot-2 Dixie pixie...

Article

“I Had an Abortion”

Four comedians share their stories. “Our body, our choice.” Conservatives like to use this slogan when it suits them—for example, to refuse life-saving vaccines. But when it applies to policing women’s reproductive rights, fuck autonomy, right? The GOP has been fighting the battle against a woman’s right to choose for decades, and this year they...

humor

Cock Ring Bling

Custom sneakers are for basic bitches. As a rapper in 2022-23, you’re just a giant pile of irrelevance unless your side hustle includes a handmade, jewel-studded, 18-karat cock ring. Because nothing says “baller” like $25,000 worth of ice and gold resting (un)comfortably atop your bean bag. We could all take a page out of Frank...

Article

Friday Funnies: Monster Laughs

With Halloween just around the corner, we’re scaring up some big laughs, courtesy of HUSTLER’s vast arsenal of uproarious cartoons. Go ahead; enjoy these monstrously hilarious jokes—they’re all treat, no trick! “Oh, boy, fresh squeezed!” “We’d be proud to have you as a member of the Republican Party. We specialize in terrorizing villages!” “Don’t be...

Article

HUSTLER Classic: Let It Rayne

A hot, naked blonde and a well-stocked bar: Does life get any better than that? Yeah, we didn’t think so. Bottoms up—and this chick’s top is pretty choice, too. Such was the proposition presented in the May ‘06 HUSTLER pictorial “Tiffany Rayne: Up All Night” which, true its title, From the May 2006 pictorial “Tiffany...

Article

Red-Hot Beavers Vol. 2

The weather’s cooling off, but we’re heating things up with a collection of fiery-tressed beauties from HUSTLER’s world-famous Beaver Hunt amateur photo contest! So go ahead and warm your bones—and one in particular—with this parade of ginger-haired girls-next-door. And when you’re done here—if you have the strength—check out our previous edition of Red-Hot Beavers here!...

Article

Cock Ring Calamity

Sure, it might be tempting to slap one of these coital contraptions onto your junk in search of a good fucking time, but beware—without the proper precautions, you could end up snaring your schlong in a very uncomfortable situation. Any man who’s worth his weight in jizz (whatever that means) has passed through the neon...

Article

Dirty Talk, Foreign Edition

Prepare to give your mouth a workout as these sexy sirens teach you how to talk dirty in foreign tongues. One key to a fun and spicy sex life is to communicate with your partner in the bedroom, and that includes dirty talk. Sadly, it can be easy to run out of sexy things to...

showcase

Busty Bosses

Article

Ink & Pink Vol. 2

The female body is a work of art—and it’s even more so when it’s adorned with amazing tattoos. So let’s display our art appreciation as we admire these inked-up Honeys in all their glory! And when you’re done here, make sure to check out our previous edition of Ink & Pink here! Annie Amber Ivy...

showcase

Crazy Fucking Teen Maids

Article

Friday Funnies: Affairs to Remember Vol. 3

Need a good laugh? We’re not fooling around when we say you won’t be cheated by this collection of infidelity-themed knee-slappers, courtesy of HUSTLER’s arsenal of outrageous cartoons! And when you’re done here, check out our previous installments of Affairs to Remember here and here! “See, dear? It’s like I’ve always told you…not one woman...

Article

HUSTLER Classic: Auto-Erotic Urges

Wow! Check out that sleek body. Those stunning curves. Those killer looks! And yeah; the car’s pretty sweet, too. The April ‘06 HUSTLER pictorial “Valentina Vaughn: Around the Benz” turned out to be classic in a couple of different ways, as it combined two timeless favorites of men everywhere: hot women and luxury cars. And...

Article

Eric Stanton: Drawn to Kink

Exploring the life, work and struggles of a pioneering fetish artist. While relatively unknown, the artistry of Eric Stanton has had a profound effect on the fetish world. Stanton was a prolific illustrator who, beginning with the serial bondage episodes he drew for publisher Irving Klaw in the ‘40s, reigned as one of the finest...

HUSTLER Picks

Brushing Up on Going Down: The Pros’ Guide to Eating Pussy
The Business of Pleasure: How to Succeed in Sex Work (by Really Trying)
Three Is a Magic Number

Popular Keywords

Barely Legal Lexie James Beaver Hunt Angela White Brooklyn Gray Nancy Ace

Bits & Pieces

Cartoons

Jokes

Parodies

January 2025

Search

HUSTLER Picks