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January 2025

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Chloe Temple

“I can confidently say, without a doubt, that I am the biggest animal person. My house is a zoo, and none of my pets are on the skinny side. I wake up every day to my two German Shepherds demanding breakfast. “I love camping and getting dirty in the woods,...
humor

In the Key of Sex

We really feel for Reddit user TylerLife, who recently got dragged all over the internet for his shall we say unorthodox taste in music. Don’t get us wrong—everything has its place in time and space, but less so when curating your sex playlist. Utterly dismayed, this poor, confused soul simply could not fathom his girlfriend’s...
humor

Perfect Pairs

Pairing wine and food is as much science as it is instinct. Yes, most shellfish are best enjoyed with a crisp white, but ultimately, it’s about what works for you and your particular palette. There is no crime in enjoying a robust claret with your sole meunière; just don’t be surprised if the sommelier winces...
humor

Christmas Cuties

It’s that time of year again, when we hang our stockings and gather ’round the hearth to toast another yuletide season. But if you’re more Larry Flynt than Norman Rockwell, then boy, oh, boy, do we have a Christmas present for you! Yes, dear readers, Santa informs us that you have all been on your...
humor

Hot for Mascots

It’s been a wild year, but even we didn’t have “the yassification of Gritty” on our 2022 bingo cards. Smash-cut to September, when an attendee at DragonCon in Georgia tweeted out a photo of a cosplayer who had accomplished the seemingly unthinkable: making us horny for a deranged NHL mascot. (Gritty is the official mascot...
humor

HUSTLER @ the Movies: “Orgazmo”

History will judge Trey Parker and Matt Stone as the greatest cultural arbiters of our era. The scorched-earth satire of South Park is a gift, but let’s not forget that they also blessed us with some of the most mindlessly amazing (and thought-provoking) screwball comedies of the past 30 years. Released in 1997, Orgazmo is...
humor

Santa Has…

“Santa has Christmas wishes too!”...
humor

I’ll Cherish My Time…

“I’ll always cherish my time in Congress, representing Wyoming and working to promote and strengthen America’s standing in the world. Did I mention that Donald Trump is a lying, narcissistic piece of shit and a nuclear-secrets-stealing, fucked-up son of a bitch?!”...
humor

Donald Trump—the guy…

“Donald Trump—the guy couldn’t sell steaks or vodka, couldn’t run a university or casino and couldn’t overthrow the U.S. government. He’s a loser!”...
humor

I Told You…

“I told you I’d be late tonight, dear. It’s our annual holiday orifice party!”...
humor

I Think If There’s…

“I think if there’s one thing we’ve all learned from this, it’s that we haven’t learned a goddamn thing.”...
humor

I’ll Be Home Late…

“I’ll be home late, dear. I’m drilling a new hole, and it might turn into a gusher any second now.”...
humor

Okay, Stevens…

“Okay, Stevens, I’ll get right back to you after this merger.”...
humor

Bill Admitted To His Best Friend…

Bill admitted to his best friend, “All of the thrill is gone from my marriage, Randy.” “So why not add some intrigue to your boring life and have an affair?” Randy suggested.“What if my wife finds out?” Bill asked. “Hell, this is a new age we live in,” Randy replied. “Go ahead and just tell...
humor

On A Visit…

On a visit to the barber, Walt asked if he had any remedies to curehis baldness. “It might sound kinda strange, but the best thing I’ve found is a gal’s Vaginal juices,” the barber confided.“Shit, you’re balder than I am!” Walt yelped. The barber shot back, “But you must admit, I’ve got a great mustache!”...
humor

Jason And Abby From Their Honeymoon…

Jason and Abby returned from their honeymoon, and it was obvious to everyone that the newlyweds weren’t talking to each other. Clint, Jason’s best man, took him aside and asked what was wrong. “Well, Abby and I made love on our wedding night without any problems,” Jason explained. “But as I got up to take...
politics

Democrats Just Changed Everything

With no help from congressional Republicans. And most Americans have yet to notice. It was not normal. In late summer the U.S. West was slammed by a relentless, record heat wave. For two unforgiving weeks, temperatures topped 110 degrees Fahrenheit in scores of cities. California’s capital, Sacramento, hit a mercury-shattering 116 degrees as more than...
politics

Asshole of the Month: Vladimir Putin

British historian Lord Acton wisely observed that “power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” In modern times, there is no better example of this than Russia’s longtime leader Vladimir Putin, who now threatens to launch a nuclear holocaust with his invasion and annexation of eastern Ukraine. Putin started his career in that notorious...
beaver

Tosha Tosh

“Appearing in HUSTLER was a major goal of mine,” says Tosha Tosh, 29, a pharmacy tech from Dayton, Ohio. “I love being naked and showing off. Thank you for the opportunity.” Tattooed on her right arm is the inscription “We all have a story to tell!” and the 5-foot-3 skin-mag...
beaver

Kiera Costa

“I figured it was time to put a checkmark next to HUSTLER on my bucket list,” proclaims Kiera Costa, 32, from San Francisco, California. “I regret waiting so long, but I’m honored to be seen in the adult industry’s best magazine.” The 5-foot-7 professional dominatrix and published author has a...
beaver

Victoria Bones

“I love decorating my body and standing out a little extra,” declares Victoria Bones, 30, an “adventurous, fun and carefree” pole dancer from Chesapeake, Virginia. “Since I want the world to see the beauty of all kinds of bodies, I thought HUSTLER would be an amazing place to start—a judge-free...
Article

Saturday Special: Girls on Girls

No pecker? No problem! These ladies don’t need a dude to get off—they’re perfectly capable of taking matters (and each other) into their own hands. Speaking of hands, make sure to give these ladies one as they get down to some delightfully dirty girl-on-girl action.  Harley Haze & Havana Bleu Ryan Keely & Vina Sky...

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