Tom, I really believe Donald Trump is going to run again in 2024
Tom, I really believe Donald Trump is going to run again in 2024...
Bits & Pieces
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“I know this is a crazy question, but is your wife at home?”
“I know this is a crazy question, but is your wife at home?”...
The handyman is willing to do the jobs you won’t do.
“The handyman is willing to do the jobs you won’t do.”...
“Man, they certainly have us figured out…”
“Man, they certainly have us figured out…”...
Bart went fishing one afternoon and hadn’t caught a thing in two hours…
Bart went fishing one afternoon and hadn’t caught a thing in two hours. In the meantime the local pastor showed up and cast his line into the stream. Within half an hour he’d reeled in dozens of fish. Pissed off about this, Brad went over to the clergyman and asked him, “Why are you catching...
April Fools
Spring has sprung, and that can only mean one thing: The prankening is upon us! April Fools’ Day antics are a time-honored tradition and welcome distraction from COVID and its never-ending parade of variants. Our social interactions have become so stifled and stressful that, frankly, the prospect of public humiliation and deception seems life-affirming. Sadly,...
The Orgy Is On!
How can you not adore and admire New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern? The affable and utterly competent leader is a beacon of integrity on the world stage and helped navigate her country out of the COVID hellscape that is currently ravaging the U.S. And just when you thought this lovefest couldn’t get any more...
The Year of the Cougar
Ice is cold. Sugar is sweet. And women over 40 are indeed hot. As truisms go, these hardly bear repeating. What does merit discussion, however, is the persistent sense of numbskull wonderment when it comes to mature beauty. Case in point: Brooke Shields. In an interview for Yahoo Life’s Unapologetically Brooke video series, the actor...
Lester’s wife asked him where he wanted to be…
Lester’s wife asked him where he wanted to be buried. Apparently “balls-deep in your sister” was not the right answer....
Two businessmen decided to take a break in their soon-to-open…
Two businessmen decided to take a break in their soon-to-open new store. So far only a few shelves were set up. One man said to the other, “I bet any minute now some busybody is gonna walk by, look in the window and wonder what we’re selling.” No sooner were the words out of his...
Jack had an earache one day and went to his doctor’s office…
Jack had an earache one day and went to his doctor’s office. He was waiting in an examination room when a beautiful young woman with a fantastic body stepped in. “Dr. Brown is on vacation,” she announced. “But don’t worry. I’m a professional. I’ve seen it all before. So tell me why you’re here, and...
Virtually Fuckable
Maybe it’s the cumulative effect of starring in four Matrix movies, but Keanu Reeves has some very strong opinions when it comes to virtual sex with celebrities. Well, “strong” may be a bit over the top, but let’s just say that Neo is definitely “cool” with the idea of fans having sex with him as...
Question: How do you know you’re getting old?
Question: How do you know you’re getting old? Answer: You start having dry dreams and wet farts....
One day Tommy asked his father, “What’s that thingy between…”
One day Tommy asked his father, “What’s that thingy between Mom’s legs?” “The door to heaven,” his dad replied. “What’s that thingy between yours?” the ten-year-old prodded. “The key to the door.” “Hey, Dad, I think you should change the lock,” Tommy advised. “The guy next door has a spare key.”...
“I don’t want to hunt or gather, Dad… I just want to procreate!”
“I don’t want to hunt or gather, Dad… I just want to procreate!”...
The Rule of 3s
Nothing warms our cockles here at HUSTLER quite like a loving couple who have transcended the shackles of sexual jealousy and want to help others do the same. So what’s the secret to a loving relationship built on trust? More threesomes. Yes, you read that right. No, you are not having a stroke. Kinky Brit...
A man approached a streetwalker and asked…
A man approached a streetwalker and asked, “Hey, sweetie, can I buy two minutes of your time?” She replied, “What do you think you can do with me in just two minutes?” “Come and go,” the man muttered....
I won’t be home tonight dear. I’m involved in some…
“I won’t be home tonight, dear. I’m involved in some intense labor negotiations.”...
The War on Voting Rights Heats Up
President Biden is urging all Americans to support the Democrats’ new voting rights package before Congress, including the Freedom to Vote Act and John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act. These measures are critical to counter the flood of voting suppression laws enacted by Republicans in 19 states this past year. One such law even includes...
“Coming on your face just isn’t the same since COVID, Cecilia.”
“Coming on your face just isn’t the same since COVID, Cecilia.”...
Yeah, I fucked a lot of women, but I wasn’t tempted by the devil…
“Yeah, I fucked a lot of women, but I wasn’t tempted by the devil. It was all that great pussy you created!”...
Donald Trump: Mass Murderer
Decisions by the last administration led to hundreds of thousands of “absolutely unnecessary” deaths. Will anyone be held accountable? Throughout Donald Trump’s post-presidency, many have focused on his criminal involvement in the January 6, 2021, insurrection at the U.S. Capitol. But the probe of his attempt to block the peaceful transfer of power by resorting...
Asshole of the Month: Kyrsten Sinema
This U.S. Senator from Arizona has become infamous lately for joining hands with Joe Manchin of West Virginia to derail President Biden’s legislative agenda: first the Build Back Better program, then two voting rights reform bills. Both senators are Democrats who essentially abetted a unanimous block of 50 Republicans in gutting these proposed laws. What’s...
Jennifer Mendez
“I want the whole world to know how much I love showing off my body,” says Jennifer Mendez, 22, from Tisnov, Czech Republic. “I’ve always had a nice ass, but I figured that enhancing my breasts would make me more appealing as a model and sex partner.” Shameless and built...
Shelby
“Being in front of a camera has always turned me on,” declares Shelby, 30, a “spontaneous and adventurous” model, server and exotic dancer from New Philadelphia, Ohio. “Posing nude for the whole world to see me and pleasure themselves makes me even wetter. If only I could see them all...
Frankie Kennedy
“I’m a farmer’s daughter, born and raised. Growing up on a dairy farm, I was a tomboy, always outside on my four-wheeler or in the barn. I have changed a little bit, because I used to hate makeup and dressing up, and now I love both! But I still love...
“I lost my erection.”
“I lost my erection.”...
