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humor

Mike asked his buddy Don, “Hey, what’s bugging you?”

Mike asked his buddy Don, “Hey, what’s bugging you?” “I just had another fight with my wife,” Don replied. “That woman gives me shit for no reason at all.”“So what set her off this time?” Mike prodded. “We were both horny and just about to start having sex,” Don explained. “She had already taken off...
humor

A female assistant was giving her boss a blowjob when…

A female assistant was giving her boss a blowjob when the executive’s cell phone rang. He picked it up and heard his wife scream, “Where the hell are you?! You were supposed to be home an hour ago!” Putting a hand on the back of his assistant’s head, the executive replied, “Don’t worry, dear. I’m...
beaver

Megg Kelly

“I once thought that modeling for HUSTLER was a stretch,” admits Megg Kelly, a “passionately ambitious camming diva,” weight-training enthusiast and fiction writer from Olympia, Washington. “I thought that my body wasn’t right or good enough. I’m a 31-year-old tattooed female with two kids and the stomach to prove it.”...
Article

Our Honey Galentines

Oh, sure—Valentine’s Day usually gets all of the attention this time of year, but if you’re really looking to get a heart on, Galentine’s Day is the way to go.  A relatively recent entry into the holiday canon, Galentine’s Day—which annually falls on February 13, the day before Valentine’s Day—began as a plot point on...
Article

Valentine’s Day: A XXX Celebration

February 14th is either welcomed or dreaded. There doesn’t seem to be much of a middle ground—the day can either be marred by a heightened sense of loneliness or the burden of expectations or, ideally, it can be filled with roses, stuffed bears, chocolates (and hopefully) steamy sex!  What experiences have adult actresses had with Cupid?...
Article

Hump-Day Special: Brunet Bush Brigade, Hardcore Edition

What’s better than a hot brunet babe with a thatch of dark pubes sprouting between her legs? Watching that hot babe get stuffed full of cock and covered with cum, of course! Join us as we go deep into the dark bush for a wild adventure!  Kiarra Kai Lena Paul Violet Myers Jenna Foxx Jane...
humor

Flight of Fancy

Million-dollar-idea alert! For the bargain basement price of a paltry $1,000, you can join the coveted Mile High Club without the foul toilet stench or risk of being put on a no-fly list—or worse. In a way, we’re jealous we didn’t think of it first: airplanes for sex. Genius. Christened “The Love Cloud,” this aptly...
humor

Gray? Well, Okay!!!

Like the swallows returning to Capistrano, entertainment media is hardwired to recycle the “older men are sexy” trope at least once a year. And you know what? We’re not complaining. Bring on the celebrity DILFs! If there’s any room for griping, it’s that the names they tend to trot out are a tad…pedestrian. Sure, what’s...
humor

The Joys of Period Sex

From the department of soul-crushing statistics, this eye-roller of a fact: According to The Sun UK, “Nearly half of women who have sex on their period say it gives them a heightened sense of pleasure but have been shamed for suggesting it.” First, shame on anyone who shames women this way. And second, you idiots...
humor

Stupid Sexy Ketchup!

The horror…the horror. Of sexy ketchup. Every person has their line in the sand. For Adrian Shann of Hull (U.K.), that line was crossed when a Pizza Hut turned condiments into pornography. I mean, how else was he to interpret a bottle of ketchup whose lascivious packaging urges users to “Shake, Squeeze and Squirt” its...
humor

Save Our Sand

Tourists are the worst. Economically they’re a necessary evil, but there are limits—and Spain is drawing the line at habitat destruction by way of wanton public fornication. It’s called “cruiser trampling” and threatens to destroy a protected natural wonder. Last November CNN reported that researchers had identified 298 “sex spots” throughout the Dunas de Maspalomas...
Article

Damn, That Hurts!

When ecstasy leads to agony—we explore the painful occasionally humorous world of sex injuries. Love hurts, the old cliché goes, and sure, of course it does—like a budget prostate exam given in a back alley by a homeless man with freakishly long fingers and a staph infection. But enough about the emotional turmoil; there’s another...
Article

Friday Funnies: Laughs in Lockup, Volume 2

Cell, yes! It’s time for another round of captivating humor, courtesy of HUSTLER’s cartoon archives. Go ahead and check into the Graybar Hotel for some giggles; it’d be a crime to miss out on these laughs. “Dear Brenda, thank you for answering my ad at MatureSingles.com. As to your questions—I have a permanent job managing...
Article

HUSTLER Classic: Scary-Hot

The connection between fear and sexual arousal is well established. Hell, where do you think the phrase “scared stiff” came from? (Okay, maybe that’s not where the phrase “scared stiff” came from, but hey—you never know.)  That connection was highlighted to cock-swelling effect in the October ’02 HUSTLER Pictorial “Keegan: Senses Taker,” which featured a...
Article

HUSTLER Two-Timers: Cadence Lux

Welcome back to HUSTLER Two-Timers, where we celebrate Honeys so nice, we’ve featured them twice!  Today we’re focusing our attention and affection on Cadence Lux, a wide-open beauty with a go-for-it attitude and a thorough appreciation for sex and the many joys it offers.  Cadence first put her sex-positive attitude on full display for HUSTLER...
politics

“Prime” Time for the Working Class

Unlike Amazon deliveries, better wages and benefits won’t arrive overnight, but they’re on the way if we fight. We’ve learned a few things while struggling to emerge from two years of COVID-19. For example, Wall Street doesn’t keep the country going. Those who show up to work day after day do, even while risking their...
larrys

Governor Newsom Turns the Tables

As we discussed in the December 2021 Publisher’s Statement, our ultraconservative Supreme Court recently upheld the draconian Texas law that outlaws most abortions after a “fetal heartbeat” is detected (at about six weeks). The law allows private citizens with no legal standing—meaning no personal interests involved—to sue any doctor or individual who participates in an...
Article

Crystal Rush: From Russia With Lust

XXX Russian export Crystal Rush explains what life is really like in her homeland. Grandpa Boomer was holding court about Russian women: “You see, youngsters, you don’t know. I came up during the Cold War, when you’d only hear about two kinds of Ruskie dames: the beautiful-but-deadly femme fatale and the big babushka who could...
Article

Hump-Day Special: Threeway Thrills Part III

Need something to get you through the midweek blahs? How about a collection of red-hot sexual trios? Whether it’s a couple of guys doubling down on one fine chick or two girls teaming up on one lucky dude, these fleshy triads will pump you up and get you off. Get crackin’!  Kat Monroe  Jessica Ryan...
Article

Stripping: The Bare Facts

Strip clubs are basically candy stores for adults. There is every style, size and flavor for each appetite. We all see what happens on stage (and feel it in our pants), but what goes on backstage, and what are some situations we may not see? We gathered a group of talented dancers to turn the...

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