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January 2025

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Cashmere & Brutus

They first noticed each other at the condo pool two days ago, and ever since Brutus has spent all of his time there, hoping to catch sight of Cashmere again, hoping to hook up. He’d just moved in, but one look at her lovely curves, and he was done. It...
humor

Munching with Missy

When you want to learn how to do something right, you go to the experts. And while gay men don’t have an exclusive on eating ass, it certainly pays to listen to someone who does it with passion and gusto. Last November, Vice contributor Navin Noronha shared his insight into the joys of anilingus and...
humor

A Very HUSTLER Valentine’s Day

Love it or hate it, Valentine’s Day is Christmas for romantics. And while everyone is entitled to their kicks, the tired cliches of this annual schmaltz-fest can get tedious real fast. If overpriced restaurants, roses and gas station teddy bears are your thing, then great, go nuts. But if you yearn for a love life...
humor

Tears of a Clown

It doesn’t feel like so long ago when we once collectively scoffed at the existence of men’s rights. To quote Leslie Knope, the stalwart bureaucrat of NBC’s Parks and Recreation, “Men’s rights is nothing.” Well, what was once a petty distraction has now blown up into a dangerous shitstorm of entitlement and misinformation. Worse, we...
humor

Dare to Care

The kink community has a lot to teach us about sex and sexuality. The primacy of consent is a big one, as is the importance of communication and respect for your partner. Another mainstay of BDSM: aftercare. Be you vanilla or defiantly not vanilla, some best practices should be practiced by everyone. BDSM can be...
humor

High-Heeled Hooey

Have foot fetishists infiltrated academia? Far be it for us to cast aspersions, but it’s hard not to be skeptical of a university study that claims high-heeled shoes are a woman’s ticket to bigger Os and a superhuman pelvic floor. Obviously, a woman in heels is a thing of beauty, a living work of art....
humor

Cole and Mimi were invited to a masquerade party…

Cole and Mimi were invited to a masquerade party. But at the last minute Mimi had a terrible headache and told her husband to go alone. Off he went, and she took some aspirin and dozed for an hour. Awakening free of pain, Mimi decided to go to the party. Cole didn’t know what she’d...
humor

When asked by his father if he knew about the birds…

When asked by his father if he knew about the birds and the bees, the young boy exploded: “Look, Pop, I found out there was no Santa Claus at six, no Easter Bunny at seven and no Tooth Fairy at eight. If you’re going to tell me that grown-ups don’t fuck, I’ve had it!”...
humor

A lesbian went to a gynecologist for a downstairs checkup…

A lesbian went to a gynecologist for a downstairs checkup. He looked inside and exclaimed, “Ma’am, your vagina is one of the cleanest I’ve ever seen during all my years as a gynecologist.” “And it should be!” the lesbian asserted. “I have a woman come in three times a week.”...
politics

Asshole of the Month: Steve Bannon

The batshit crazy godfather of the alt-right movement, Steve Bannon, is treading in a deep cesspool now that his role in fomenting the January 6th insurrection is finally coming to light. A member of Trump’s inner circle and a bellicose pusher of the Big Lie regarding the outcome of the 2020 election, Bannon was held...
beaver

Elena Lux

“I feel so free when I’m nude,” admits Elena Lux, 24, from Budapest, Hungary. “I suppose I could have been a fashion model, being so tall and limber,” the 5-foot-10 skin-mag newbie muses, “but I like men looking at me, even lusting for me. And the men I fall for...
beaver

Brielle Camilli

“I love my body, and I’ve been getting more and more confident when it comes to showing it off,” proclaims Brielle Camilli, 31, a “funny, laid-back” dental hygienist from Revere, Massachusetts. “I was apprehensive about posing totally nude for the first time,” the 5-foot-7 hunting and traveling buff continues, “but...
politics

Age of Rage

Americans on the right are furious, but don’t blame conspiracy theories, social media or even Donald Trump. “With every passing day, it looks less like we have one nation divided by differing political beliefs and more like we have two warring countries battling each other within shared borders,” author David Rothkopf tweeted recently. He’s right....

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