Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
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Victoriya
“The color red does something to me—it makes me feel sinfully sexy. I enjoy the tease of slowly stripping off red lingerie. I can be shy at times, but I’m also a performer. I like to stare at my lovers as I expose my skin and spread my thighs. I...
Edible Aubrey
“I’m only 19, but I’ve already discovered my attraction to older men. They know exactly what they want in bed and how to communicate what they want to me. That’s so sexy. Younger guys have lots of stamina, but older men have wisdom and power. “I’ve always been a sexual...
The Cost to Be the Boss
To anyone and everyone who thinks it’s easy being an online content producer, kindly go fuck yourselves. The process is time-consuming and requires multiple skill sets to get it right. More than that though, it’s not cheap. And like any smart entrepreneur, you have to invest in your business if you want to succeed. It...
Hot Tub Hell
We need to have a serious discussion about hot tub sex. Specifically, that—despite everything you’ve seen and heard—it is not good. Or sexy. Which is crazy when you think about it, because for decades audiences have been spoon-fed the idea that mashing genitals in three feet of boiling, bacteria-laden water is something we should all...
Tickle Porn
One person’s stress nightmare is another’s pleasure. While some of us cannot fathom the idea of anyone coming within ten nautical miles of our sensitive feet or armpits, others are unequivocally excited by the prospect of a no-mercy tickle attack. Join us, if you will, at the intersection of terror and laughter as we dive...
Bridgerton’s Bedroom Boom
Bridgerton is the Christmas gift that just keeps giving—over and over again, until we just…can’t…take it…anymore. Of course we’re talking about those now-legendary sex scenes that have inspired a wave of, shall we say, erotically authentic fan tributes. The Netflix adaptation of Julia Quinn’s romance novel series landed back on December 25 and has since...
On the couple’s wedding night the groom announced…
On the couple’s wedding night the groom announced, “Honey, I have to confess, I’ve slept with many prostitutes before I met you.” The bride fired back, “I knew I’d seen you somewhere before!”...
Truth and Consequences
After helping to heal broken nations overseas, an accomplished diplomat warns America, “The only real path to peace involves accountability.” Make no mistake. There can be no peace, no reconciliation, without truth, without consequences, without accountability. “There’s a reason you don’t have a lot of candidates out there and politicians saying they want to be...
What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
Question: What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore? Answer: A whore fucks everyone at a party. A bitch fucks everyone…except you....
HUSTLER Wisdom: Only in the Bible could a man…
HUSTLER Wisdom: Only in the Bible could a man stand next to a naked woman and be tempted by a piece of fruit....
A married couple were lying in bed together…
A married couple were lying in bed together. “Last night I dreamed that I was at Walmart,” the wife remarked. Her husband then said, “In my dream I was having sex with three women.” “Was I one of them?” the wife asked. “No,” her hubby grunted. “you were at Walmart.”...
Asshole of the Month: Marjorie Taylor Greene
Over the years, Asshole of the Month has featured a bounteous parade of blithering idiots, con men, habitual liars and hypocrites, the vast majority of them either Republican politicians or right-wing pundits and players. So we’ve grown a little complacent, thinking we’ve pretty much seen it all—and then along comes a new Asshole so outrageously...
Jenn was on her way to a gala event at a hotel when she…
Jenn was on her way to a gala event at a hotel when she noticed a Marine drill sergeant standing in the lobby. Having a thing for men in uniform, the flirtatious gal walked up to him and said, “Excuse me, Sergeant. You look so serious. Is something bothering you?” “Negative, ma’am,” the Marine gruffly...
Has it ever occurred to you to build a raft?!
“Has it ever occurred to you to build a raft?!”...
God, I love this interior!
“God, I love this interior!”...
Six out of seven people enjoy HUSTLER Magazine…
“Six out of seven people enjoy HUSTLER Magazine. What the hell is wrong with you?”...
A big-city doctor was the guest of an isolated Native American tribe comprised solely of men…
A big-city doctor was the guest of an isolated Native American tribe comprised solely of men. As they all shared a fine meal, the doctor finally got up the courage to inquire, “How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?” The tribe’s leader replied, “Just come down to the river tomorrow morning and we’ll show...
Driving in the snow is like eating pussy…
Driving in the snow is like eating pussy. If you don’t slow down and pay attention, you could slide into the asshole in front of you....
Breast in Show
Breasts—they’re really the tits, aren’t they? Of course they are. So kick back, relax, unzip and enjoy the ride while we hit you with our breast shots. Tomi Taylor Giselle Palmer Skye West Jenna Foxx Angela White Quinn Wilde Natalia Starr...
“And all these years I never knew there was a difference!”
“And all these years I never knew there was a difference!”...
Shameless Sexperts
Amy Baldwin and April Lampert, the duo behind the Shameless Sex podcast, want people to make their own rules for their sexuality. If you’re the kind of utterly unwoke guy who would listen to a podcast based on the relative attractiveness of its hosts, you should be ashamed of yourself. Well, you should be ashamed...
Helena Price
“I’m a total exhibitionist and an affectionate adventure-seeker,” professes “infinitely curious” Helena Price, 37, from Detroit, Michigan. “For a lady like myself it’s really an honor to be published in HUSTLER.” Once a teacher, painter and owner of a health-food business, the 5-foot-7 Motor City denizen is now focusing on...
Khloe
“I have a great sense of achievement, and being naked in a well-known magazine was high on my to-do list,” declares Khloe, 23, a bookkeeper from Grand Rapids, Michigan. “I’m outgoing, friendly and not shy in any way.” When the 5-foot-8 cutie isn’t working or sleeping, she doesn’t waste a...
“I can’t read this shit. There’s not one goddamn cartoon in the whole fucking thing.”
“I can’t read this shit. There’s not one goddamn cartoon in the whole fucking thing.”...
