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February 2024

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Hardcore Gamer

SEXY, HILARIOUS AND HUMBLE, MISSY MARTINEZ IS THE TOTAL PACKAGE. SINCE BURSTING ONTO THE PORN SCENE IN 2009, SHE’S SCORED A LEGION OF FANS EAGER TO HEAR HER NEXT JOKE OR OGLE HER TITANIC TATAS. WHEN SHE’S NOT FIXING PEOPLE’S LIVES OR PERFECTING HER COMEDY ON TWITTER, SHE’S PWNING NOOBS IN HALO. LAST YEAR HER...

Trigger-Happy Nation

IN THE WAKE OF 9/11, THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY DOLED OUT BILLIONS TO LOCAL POLICE DEPARTMENTS, AND “JUSTIFIABLE SHOOTINGS” HAVE BEEN ON THE RISE EVER SINCE. HUSTLER EXAMINES THIS NATIONAL EPIDEMIC OF FATALITIES WITH AN EYE TOWARD PERMANENT SOLUTIONS.   A scourge of questionable police shootings has afflicted our nation, leading to widespread protests...

A Biased Consumer’s Guide to Men’s Magazines

HUSTLER PUBLISHED A CONSUMER’S GUIDE TO PORN ANNUALLY IN THE ’70S AND ’80S. ITS PREMIERE APPEARANCE, BACK IN 1976, FEATURED 11 MAJOR PLAYERS IN THE ADULT PUBLISHING GAME. TODAY WE HAVE THREE…NO, WAIT, TWO…WELL, ACTUALLY JUST ONE.   PLAYBOY ($7.99, 9346 Civic Center Drive, Beverly Hills, California 90210) Do you love male models? Advertisements for...

Yes, We Cam!

  LIVE, DO-IT-YOURSELF PORN IS TAKING OVER THE WORLD, ONE TOKEN AT A TIME. 2016 BELONGS TO THE CAMGIRL.   Melody Kush is about to give her fans a very special treat. It’s called a mirror ride and showcases their favorite feature on their favorite webcam model: her big, round, perfect ass (dubbed The Kush...

Politickle

EVERY MONTH MR. FLYNT MEETS WITH THE HUSTLER EDITOR TO REVIEW CARTOONS, HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF CARTOONS. THEY ARE ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENTS OF HIS MAGAZINE, A HIGHLY EFFECTIVE FORM OF SOCIOPOLITICAL COMMENTARY—NOT TO MENTION DOWNRIGHT HILARIOUS. TO SEE MR. FLYNT SMIRK DURING THE COURSE OF THOSE REVIEWS IS TO KNOW THE CARTOON...

Hustler In The Future

HUSTLER PARODY: The ad on this page is not real. It is a parody and not to be taken seriously....

Microhard

HUSTLER PARODY: The ad on this page is not real. It is a parody and not to be taken seriously....

Diarrhetics

HUSTLER PARODY: The ad on this page is not real. It is a parody and not to be taken seriously....

Zahra Stardust

ZAHRA’S VITAL FACTS HOMETOWN: Sydney, Australia AGE: 32 HEIGHT: 5-7 MEASUREMENTS: DD FAVORITE POSITION: Squirting in your mouth TWITTER: @ZahraStardustZahra Stardust is the 2014 Feminist Porn Awards Heartthrob of the year, 2014 Australian Adult Industry Awards Best Porn Actress and 2012 Eros Shine Awards Best Adult Star. She is an Australian Penthouse Pet and Ph.D....

London Keyes For President

IN THE UPCOMING PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION, THE CANDIDATES ARE EITHER DULL OR CRAZY, AND THEIR PLATFORMS ARE A MIXTURE OF UNIMAGINATIVE, UNWORKABLE IDEAS. BUT VOTERS NEED NOT DESPAIR. POLITICALLY ACTIVE PORN STAR AND PATRIOTIC AMERICAN LONDON KEYES HAS A POTENTIAL FIX: CONSIDER HER AS A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE.   “I can be an appealing alternate choice for...

Badass Beauty Pageants

IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN, WHEN WE ARBITRARILY PICK ONE LADY FROM EVERY STATE AND THEN RANDOMLY SELECT ONE OF THOSE AND DECLARE HER MISS AMERICA. OR IF STEVE HARVEY IS HOSTING, HE CROWNS WHATEVER GIRL’S NAME HE CAN PRONOUNCE REGARDLESS OF WHAT THE CARD SAYS. IT’S AN AMERICAN TRADITION. OVER THE YEARS THE...

The Naked…And The Dead

Some people are so scared by repression and guilt that they need an atmosphere of force or violence to become sexually aroused. They have been taught to believe that sex is evil, a sin, and that “the wages of sin is death.” Probably some people, seeing these photographs, will be erotically stimulated for the first...

Hel On Heels

“SHE DIPS HER TALON IN YOUR BRAIN AND STIRS THE CONTENTS IDLY, SMILES TO SEE YOUR AGONY, STOPS TO TRY THE TASTE OF PAIN. SAVOURING YOUR ESSENCE ON THOSE LIPS— THAT MOUTH AND YOU, LOST SOUL IN HEL YOU BEG HER TO BEGIN AGAIN TO DIP, TO STIR, TO TASTE AGAIN. YOU BEG TO BE...

Erik Griffin: Workaholic

Erik Griffin is a working man’s comic. He constantly hones his craft onstage. He loves the Clippers. He loves his mother. He’ll take his movie reviews from real people over critics any day. The man who brought Workaholics’ Montez to cult status recently stopped by our cubicles to talk about the president of comedy, what...

Brett Rossi: Heartstrings

Brett Rossi spots me outside of her Sherman Oaks apartment and waves me over. “Hi,” she says. “Welcome to my temporary humble abode.” She walks me through the gate to her front door, where I’m immediately bear-hugged by Sam, a huge yellow Labrador. Unbeknownst to Brett, I met her in 2011, when she waltzed into...

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