Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

Cartoons

Illustrated monthly funnies

Jokes

Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

Unapologetic political satire

close slideout
Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
Magazine new arrow

March 2026

Join HUSTLER Magazine trial promo image

Intro Offer:
3 days for only $0.99!

Search

HUSTLER’s Guide to Dating Apps

LEARN HOW TO SURVIVE TECH-BASED HOOKUPS WITH, IF NOT DIGNITY, AT LEAST A SOLID CHANCE OF A BLOWJOB. HUSTLER’S MAN ABOUT TOWN TESTS A FUCKTON OF DATING APPLICATIONS AND REPORTS ON THE HEARTWARMING RESULTS. “Well, Gandhi was anti-vax, you know…” I don’t know. And I don’t care. That’s Helen. Helen is a woman I met...

The War on Smart

“America has become a cruel and vicious place. We reward the shallowest, the dumbest, the meanest and the loudest. We no longer have any common sense of decency. No sense of shame. There is no right and wrong. The worst qualities in people are looked up to and celebrated. Lying and spreading fear is fine...

Hot Letters

EVERY YEAR WE RECEIVE HUNDREDS OF STEAMY LETTERS FROM YOU, OUR READERS. HERE ARE A FEW OF OUR HOTTEST HOT LETTERS, THE BEST OF THE BEST. SO LOCK THE DOOR. WARM UP YOUR FINGERS OR YOUR FAVORITE TOY. GET COMFORTABLE. AND ENJOY.   HOW TO PICK UP WOMEN She knew me as Ethan, a campaign...

Hot Showers

Breasts sliding against full, slippery breasts. Pussies that are wetter than water. Soapy, utterly delicious bodies. Enjoy this steamy lesbian XXX photo special. Butt and kitty action, nipple-twisting and toys. There’s no such thing as too dirty in All New Hot Showers #4. To order, call 800-763-8271 ext. 7675 or visit HustlerStore.com....

Match Her Snatch

Think pink, and win a free subscription to HUSTLER Magazine! 2016 was a banner year for pussy, my friend. Witness the cornucopia of cunt displayed below. Each of these delicious quims belongs to a 2016 Honey. Simply match the snatch to its rightful owner. If you ace the game, you’ll be entered into a drawing...

Booty Call

Calling all ass enthusiasts! True derriere devotees truly know their butt globes. Test your prowess here, and win Larry’s Favorite Magazine free for a year! Match the beautiful behind at left to the stunning 2016 Honey at right. Score well, and your entry will be dropped into a drawing for a one-year HUSTLER subscription. There...

Body Hack Hell

 IT’S NOON ON WEDNESDAY, AND I’M CHOOSING TO EAT A WHOLE PLAIN POTATO. OF MY OWN FREE WILL. I STEAMED IT IN MY OFFICE MICROWAVE LIKE THE WEIRD SAD GUY FROM ACCOUNTING DOES. IT’S THE KIND YOU PROBABLY THINK OF WHEN YOU IMAGINE A POTATO—BROWN, LUMPY, DIRTY. A RUSSET MAYBE? I THINK THAT’S WHAT IT’S...

Ass & Grass

Porn and pot have been pals for decades. Now they’re going into business together. HUSTLER reveals the similarities between the two industries and introduces us to the major marijuana players in porn. Ass and grass: it’s a match made in heaven. The pornography business owes much of its success to trained creative, marketing and business...

Big Pharma: America’s Drug Cartel

A single class of narcotics is responsible for more than 16,000 overdose deaths and 475,000 emergency room visits annually in America. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention calls it an epidemic. It’s not coke, crack or black tar heroin. These narcos don’t sport lizard boots and gold chains. Yet the profits they rake in...

420 Selfies

Tweet us your own silly, slutty 420 selfie, and you just might see your pic on these pages. Show off your big bong. Smoke a blunt bare-naked. Follow us on Twitter @HUSTLERMag, share your best stoner photo, and join the fun! Peace out....

Tough Love: Dommes & Subs

NATALIE IS OUT ON THE TOWN, NEW YORK TO BE SPECIFIC. SHE STRIDES DOWN THE SIDEWALK, A SHOCK OF PINK HAIR FALLING ACROSS HER ALABASTER FOREHEAD. SHE IS DEVASTATINGLY BEAUTIFUL, INKED AND PIERCED, BUT NO ONE IS LOOKING AT HER. EVERYONE IS STARING AT WHAT’S IN FRONT OF HER: A MAN IN A WHEELCHAIR. ON...

In The Flesh

DO YOU DREAM OF FUCKING KAYDEN KROSS? FANTASIZE ABOUT PUSHING YOUR HARD COCK INTO TEAGAN PRESLEY’S TIGHT PINK TWAT? MEET THE MAN WHO CAN MAKE THAT POSSIBLE—SORT OF.   If you’ve watched porn and/or masturbated at any point in the past ten years—in other words, if you’re alive—you’re probably familiar with Fleshlight, the popular sex...

College Anal 101: A Study Guide

IT’S EVIDENT THAT PUBLIC EDUCATION IS FAILING IN THIS COUNTRY WHEN STUDENTS CONTINUE TO ARRIVE AT COLLEGE ANAL VIRGINS. THIS, I SUSPECT, IS WHY DIRECTOR RICK DAVIS IS SHOOTING HUSTLER’S COLLEGE ANAL 101— TO FILL THE GAPS CENSORED OUT OF STATE-SPONSORED SEX-ED COURSES. I, IN TURN, AM ON SET TO CREATE A KIND OF STUDY...

Resist: How to be an Effective Activist

If you are frustrated, depressed or angry at the ass-backward triumph of Trump, it’s time to get out of your funk by doing something. Signing another lame online petition before anaesthetizing with Netflix, Hulu or YouTube isn’t going to cut it. In the words of famed 20th-century activist and songwriter Joe Hill, “Don’t waste any...

Madam Lydia Faithfull: Brothel Queen

LOCATED ON DESOLATE HIGHWAY 95, THE ALIEN CATHOUSE IS NEVADA’S ONLY SCI-FI THEMED BROTHEL. MADAM LYDIA FAITHFULL KEEPS IT RUNNING AS SMOOTHLY AS THE TRUCKS THAT PULL UP NEXT DOOR FOR FUEL. NEW JERSEY-BORN FAITHFULL IS THE YOUNGEST MADAM IN THE ENTIRE STATE, AN UNDERRATED ACCOMPLISHMENT FOR A FORMER SEX WORKER IN HER EARLY 30S....

Fighting to Save Porn

PORN SAVED ME. THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU EXPECT TO HEAR, BUT IT IS MY TRUTH. I’VE ENJOYED WORKING AS AN ACTRESS AND ADVOCATE IN THE ADULT INDUSTRY FOR NEARLY TWO DECADES. WHILE MOST PERFORMERS RETIRE AFTER JUST A FEW YEARS, I’VE ALWAYS THOUGHT OF THE INDUSTRY AS MY FAMILY AND MY HOME. SO I...

Kid Poker: Daniel Negreanu

DANIEL NEGREANU LAUGHS. HE LAUGHS A LOT. AND WHY SHOULDN’T HE? THE MAN THEY CALL KID POKER HAS WON SIX WORLD SERIES OF POKER BRACELETS (AT PRESS TIME), IS THE ONLY TWO-TIME WSOP PLAYER OF THE YEAR AND HAS MORE POKER TOURNAMENT WINNINGS THAN ANY OTHER PERSON IN HISTORY. AS THE GAME’S MOST POPULAR PLAYER,...

Striptastic!

STRIPTASTIC! is a coffee-table book of illustrations, interviews and data collected from a survey Jacqueline Frances conducted with nearly 300 strippers from around the world. It’s a full-color, 150-page educational (and certainly entertaining) journey through the days and nights of life as a stripper. Order it today on Amazon, or visit JacqTheStripper.com to purchase your...

Below the Rust Belt II

IN 2014 A FLEDGLING HUSTLER REPORTER SLIPPED UNDERCOVER TO DISCOVER WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO WORK AS A STRIPPER. THIS IS HER SECOND REPORT IN THREE LONG YEARS. SHE HAS NEVER RETURNED TO THE OFFICE.   I’m genuine, yet professional,” I say to the totally oblivious customer drinking vodka sodas at the bar. “And I’m...

Your Daly Dose

When was the last time Fabio cornered you on the power of protein? Or you got paid to be Bill Murray? Or totally fooled the world into thinking that you were the Red Hot Chili Peppers? Such are the life and times of comedian Jon Daly, costar of Showtime’s new series I’m Dying Up Here...

Along Came Poly

If monogamy works, why is the divorce rate pushing 50%? Today enjoying a relationship with multiple partners is more accepted than ever. It’s called polyamory, and it promises love without limits. It was morning, and Denise was looking forward to the sublime satisfaction of daytime sex. Her naked body was entangled with her boyfriend’s in...

Sick Nick

NICK SWARDSON FIRST ROLLED HIS WAY INTO OUR HEARTS AS STREET MEAT IN RENO 911! AND CONTINUES TO BARE HIS PLUCKY SOUL IN ADAM SANDLER’S FINEST FLICKS. RENOWNED FOR RAUNCHY TRUTHS VIA GAY ROBOT, SWARDSON’S BRAND OF HUMOR IS IN-YOUR-FACE FUNNY. AFTER TWO SOLID DECADES IN THE COMEDY GAME, NICK POPPED BY HUSTLER FOR A...

HUSTLER Picks

  • Brushing Up on Going Down: The Pros’ Guide to Eating Pussy
  • The Business of Pleasure: How to Succeed in Sex Work (by Really Trying)
  • Three Is a Magic Number