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January 2025

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humor

A married couple were lying in bed together…

A married couple were lying in bed together. “Last night I dreamed that I was at Walmart,” the wife remarked. Her husband then said, “In my dream I was having sex with three women.” “Was I one of them?” the wife asked. “No,” her hubby grunted. “you were at Walmart.”...
politics

Asshole of the Month: Marjorie Taylor Greene

Over the years, Asshole of the Month has featured a bounteous parade of blithering idiots, con men, habitual liars and hypocrites, the vast majority of them either Republican politicians or right-wing pundits and players. So we’ve grown a little complacent, thinking we’ve pretty much seen it all—and then along comes a new Asshole so outrageously...
humor

Jenn was on her way to a gala event at a hotel when she…

Jenn was on her way to a gala event at a hotel when she noticed a Marine drill sergeant standing in the lobby. Having a thing for men in uniform, the flirtatious gal walked up to him and said, “Excuse me, Sergeant. You look so serious. Is something bothering you?” “Negative, ma’am,” the Marine gruffly...
Article

Breast in Show

Breasts—they’re really the tits, aren’t they? Of course they are. So kick back, relax, unzip and enjoy the ride while we hit you with our breast shots.   Tomi Taylor  Giselle Palmer  Skye West  Jenna Foxx Angela White  Quinn Wilde  Natalia Starr...
Article

Shameless Sexperts

Amy Baldwin and April Lampert, the duo behind the Shameless Sex podcast, want people to make their own rules for their sexuality. If you’re the kind of utterly unwoke guy who would listen to a podcast based on the relative attractiveness of its hosts, you should be ashamed of yourself. Well, you should be ashamed...
beaver

Helena Price

“I’m a total exhibitionist and an affectionate adventure-seeker,” professes “infinitely curious” Helena Price, 37, from Detroit, Michigan. “For a lady like myself it’s really an honor to be published in HUSTLER.” Once a teacher, painter and owner of a health-food business, the 5-foot-7 Motor City denizen is now focusing on...
beaver

Khloe

“I have a great sense of achievement, and being naked in a well-known magazine was high on my to-do list,” declares Khloe, 23, a bookkeeper from Grand Rapids, Michigan. “I’m outgoing, friendly and not shy in any way.” When the 5-foot-8 cutie isn’t working or sleeping, she doesn’t waste a...
Article

The War on XXX: Fight for Your Porn

The war against pornography is intensifying. Censorship, restriction and First Amendment fuckery could reign supreme if campaigns from pseudo-scientists, the religious right and conservative politicians are successful. The demonization of porn is nothing new, but with a cultural cleanup in progress, the threat now is greater than ever before. HUSTLER investigates the swelling antiporn movement...
Article

Barbara Crampton: The Scene Queen Arises

Decades after first capturing horror-film fans’ hearts, the Re-Animator and From Beyond star continues to advance the genre with her new movie, Jakob’s Wife. We’re partial to a good scare here at HUSTLERMagazine.com. (Hey, what better way to spend an evening with your significant other than getting close while watching a horror movie?) So out...
Article

Interstellar Intercourse: Sex on Mars Won’t Be Easy

As scientists explore the possibility of creating human colonies on the Red Planet, we look at the many challenges of boning on the fourth rock from the sun. One day, the aliens are going to show up on Earth and find nothing but a burned-up sign on the White House lawn that reads, “We fucked...
Article

HUSTLER Triple Threat: Emma Mae

They have a saying in North Carolina:  Esse Quam Videri. Translated from Latin, the Tar Heel State’s motto means “To be rather than to seem.”  That saying certainly seems to apply to Emma Mae, the subject of this edition of HUSTLER Triple Threat, a native of Wilmington, North Carolina and a special treasure who’s as...
Article

The Matt Gaetz Probe and a Brief Look at Washington Sex Scandals

With the Florida congressman reportedly under investigation, we look at some of the salacious scandals that have rocked Washington, D.C. in the past. MAGA edgelord and purported mega-douche Matt Gaetz, the Republican representative from Florida’s 1st Congressional District, seems to know a thing or two about getting ahead in politics: suck up to the bigger...
honey

Alexis Crystal

“I’m a good listener. If anyone needs to talk, then they will have fun with me. I’ve always been full of energy and curious about everything. When I’m not working, you can catch me working out at the gym, or cooking, or eating—definitely eating! Food is my passion. I like...
humor

Is Miley the New Martha?

Miley Cyrus’s sex drive and sex-positive energy is hot coffee on a lazy Sunday morning: We’re all in and loving every sip. So naturally the possibility of this ethos evolving into its own lifestyle brand is almost too much to process. Let us whisk you back to last January, when the “Wrecking Ball” queen gave...
Article

Monster Magnet: Building a Better Dystopia

All hail Monster Magnet! Purveyors of the finest stoner rock available since 1989. Although the lineup has changed many times over the years, the one thing that remains constant is frontman Dave Wyndorf, the band’s lead singer and “noise” guitarist. It is his vision and voice that have driven the New Jersey-based group through the...
Article

Managing Conflict: A Relationship Guide

Yes, clashing with your romantic partner is inevitable on occasion. Here’s how to minimize the discord and get back on the path to harmony as soon as possible.  Some degree of conflict in relationships is inevitable. Whether it is spurred by stress, misunderstanding or unresolved issues, all couples experience moments of friction. The key is...
Article

Lingerie Lesbian Fun Part III

Frilly fillies strip down and get off Brace yourselves and lace yourselves; it’s time for another collection of sexy sirens dolled up in their dainty underthings and getting down and dirty with each other. Enjoy—and when you’re done with these dolls, make sure to check out our previous installments of Lingerie Lesbian Fun here and...
Article

Hannibal Buress: No More Hangovers

First and foremost Hannibal Buress is a stand-up comic, but in recent years he’s also been racking up the acting gigs. He was the sidekick on The Eric Andre Show, is the love interest on Broad City and has landed parts in Hollywood comedies from Neighbors to Baywatch, Daddy’s Home to Blockers. And while Buress seems...

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