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February 2024

Bella Donna
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Young John’s Schlong

“I can keep an erection almost indefinitely,” porn legend John Holmes told HUSTLER in 1983. “I can also keep an erection straddling a girl at the edge of a cliff, looking down at 300 feet of nothing, with my knees bleeding from the sandstone...

Club Girl: Shavelle Love

Shavelle declares. “It’s a place where anything goes. I love the heat. Traffic isn’t bad. Everything is open. Parking is never a problem. And there’s always a pool party somewhere!” According to Shavelle, the nightlife in Vegas...

Rooms With a View

Suspecting that she might be her generation’s Don McCullin, 17-year-old Jo Broughton wanted to change the world through photography. Thing is, she sucked at art school. “I was really bad,” she laughs. “Not attending properly, always late. A...

Furry Fury

Hey, furries, Tony the Tiger has had it up to here with your smutty tweets. The Kellogg cereal mascot tried being patient with the furry fans who flooded his official Twitter account with lewd, lascivious comments and requests for nude photos,...

Hap-Penis

The world’s first FDA-cleared penis implant is here. Yeah, yeah—we know, bigger isn’t better, and most women say they don’t care how big a dick is (according to a 2014 report based on a study of 26,437 women ages 18-65, 84% are “very...

Satan Is My Copilot

Even those who avoid the Trinity Broadcasting Network got a nice whiff of bullshit when a segment from Kenneth Copeland’s Believer’s Voice of Victory recently went viral. Copeland, truly one of today’s most repugnant holy rollers, sat down...

Somewhere, An Egret Cried

Pointing a gun at a Federal officer is a crime, but for almost a month, the government response to the antigovernment protest at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon was restrained, at least IRL. Sexual tensions at...

Club Girl: Melanie

After spending the last six months traveling back and forth between Minnesota and Las Vegas, our 25-year-old Club Girl decided to plant her high heels squarely in Sin City, where you can find her dancing at Larry Flynt’s HUSTLER Club, Las Vegas....

Mean Tweets

Obama’s done it; kids do it; even Canadians do it. It didn’t take long for Jimmy Kimmel’s segment “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” to drip its way through pop culture. Thing is, most porn stars don’t give a shit what people think (just one...

XXX Mashup

There’s too much wanky guitar music to make it strictly educational, too much British accented voice-over to make it porn. A video clip titled “Camera Inside of the Vagina During Sex in Missionary Position” has been driving people nuts...

Pimp My Ride

Dutch parliament member Gert-Jan Segers got a stiff lesson in “If you don’t want the answer, don’t ask the question.” A member of the ChristenUnie, a socially conservative Christian political party, Segers has spent his career trying to...

Hot As Hell

New research from the National Bureau of Economic Research suggests that higher temperatures will hurt reproductive health by reducing both fertility and “coital frequency.” Hey, you can’t fool us—that means the hotter it gets, the less...

Club Girl: Onyx Muse

My regular customers always brighten up my night when they visit unexpectedly. When I connect with someone, we experience things together. Those memories are special, spiritual and therapeutic experiences that go beyond just getting a front-row seat...

Motherfuck

What makes us adore MILFs? Is it that certain grace a woman acquires with maturity? Is it the knowledge of pleasure and sexual experience she offers? Or is it simply the desire to feed some misplaced, milk-craving Oedipus complex? HUSTLER doesn’t...

Serving The Armed Services

For the past three years Mike Busey, founder of the Sausage Castle, a famed party house in Central Florida, has honored Veterans Day by sending pizza to veterans and active service members around the world. This year, inspired to...

Good Things Come In Threes

Is there anything technology can’t do? A new phone app is making threeways something that could actually happen—routinely! 3nder (pronounced thrinder), created by London-based Dimo Trifonov, allows users to search for...

Penis Envy

Sure, your penis is talented, but not as talented as Tim Patch’s. Patch, an Australian artist who goes by Pricasso, creates about a thousand portraits and landscapes a year using only his penis, scrotum and butt. For over a decade he’s wowed...

Club Girl: Felix Roxx

Felix Roxx has some etiquette advice: Put away your cell phones, gentlemen. “I really don’t like it when people sit at the stage looking at their phones while a pretty girl is dancing,” admonishes the 31- year-old. “If you’re...

Dumb As Shit

With May proms right around the corner, students across the country are marching off to sex ed assemblies to, presumably, learn about sex. Unfortunately, chances are that these kids—not to mention taxpayers— are getting totally screwed....

Stoya: Belle of the Ballroom

HUSTLER’s favorite New Yorker, Stoya, has a theory about why she was tapped to host the 2016 XBIZ Awards. “I have a little bit of a reputation for going ahead and saying things that are scandalous,” she confesses. “It...

Club Girl: Kat Dior

“I love risk. And being nude in public, in broad daylight, is always a rush,” confesses our March Club Girl. “It wasn’t easy walking around in heels on a train track, but hey, I made it work.” And how! Appearing at Larry Flynt’s...

Holy Fuck!

During Pope Francis’s three-day whirlwind visit to the U.S., the holy man shook hands with the prominent and the downtrodden, kissed babies, and spoke movingly about love, forgiveness and charity. He also met personally with hundreds of victims of...

Liberating Literature

It’s hard to imagine anyone, even a hot-blooded teenager, springing a boner while reading about a middle-aged woman finding a lump on her cervix. But that’s what keeps Tennessee mom Jackie Sims up at night. She’s on a mission to...

My Bloody Valentine

Chocolates? Candy? Jewelry? How about murder? Read our list of the worst Valentine’s Days. Ever. And be grateful for that shitty Whitman’s Sampler from CVS. • Juan Manuel Navarro and Ignacia Manriquez had three children together when Juan...