Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Group Masturbation: The Healing Touch?
In this age of steamed vaginas and Goop, no manner of new age hoo-ha should come as a surprise anymore. Rejuvenating beluga placenta facial mask? Here’s my credit card number! But it’s not fair to generalize; yes,...
Isn’t it Romantic?
Love is pure. Love is blind. Love is forever. But let’s be real, because love isn’t going to protect your assets when a marriage turns to shit. A prenuptial agreement, while short on romance, has its place and purpose—but like any tool, in the...
Paging Dr. Butt
Doctors are people too. They have families, hobbies, fears, desires—and just like you, they use social media. So unless you want your humiliating X-ray retweeted to infinity, it’s probably best if you stop sticking crazy stuff up your bumhole....
Hardcore Heroism
Hats off to this month’s porn hero, the venerable Bang Bros. Their gifts to the world are many—Bang Bus is an institution— but none have been so appreciated as their purchase of Porn Wikileaks (PWL), a reprehensible doxxing site that...
Cupcake Queens Capture Our Hearts
Is there anything more uplifting, more emblematic of pure joy than a cupcake? But what if the cupcake were more than just a sweet treat—as in a symbol of compassion and support for those who need it most? Like...
Meals 4 Heels
Shift work is a bitch, especially if your hours are completely out of whack with the kind of conveniences us nine-to-fivers take for granted. Things like, oh, I don’t know, eating? It’s a challenge and all-around pain in the ass, especially for...
Sex Workers Tell All
Reddit: Birthplace of memes and home of the greatest off-the-record confessions on the internet. Last time we dipped into the well, it was celeb sex encounters; this time we’re after the funniest and weirdest client encounters, as told by the...
Everything Butt
Fan conventions are everywhere these days. From Japanese anime to The Big Lebowski, just about every niche interest imaginable offers some sort of forum for likeminded people to get together and geek out with total abandon. But what if, instead of...
The Best Medicine
Guess what? Heart attacks are no fun. But almost dying is no reason to stop living, especially if the path to better health is paved with sweet sex. We recently discovered some surprising advice for heart attack survivors: More—not...
Guest Service
Some ideas make so much sense that you wonder how no one thought of it sooner. Like KFC’s paradigm-smashing Double Down sandwich, certain pairings are nothing short of perfection— sodium coma notwithstanding. The innovation in question...
The Orgy Dome
For the uninitiated, an event like Burning Man assumes an almost larger-than-life mythology. The costumes, the drugs, the desert, the drugs— every story you hear is crazier and more surreal than the one before, but no legend is more fabled than...
Shhhh, We’re Trying to Have Sex
Lists—this is journalism in the 21st century. In the never-ending quest for click-throughs, likes and upvotes, laziness reigns as we all chase after the lowest common denominator. Case in point: Greatist’s...
Love Quizzes Are Dumb – Take Ours
No one is arguing that to love someone, you need to know someone. And over the course of a marriage, people can drift apart as life chips away at the burning passion that once fueled your fairy-tale romance. While...
In Praise Of Older Women
You know what the worst thing about the music industry is? The music industry. Leave it to some needle-dick executive with too much power to think that anyone cares what he thinks. It’s what makes the small victories feel all the more...
DIY Dildos
Have we finally reached peak “craft”? In the age of crocheted menstrual pads and activist needlepoint, it seems only fitting that homemade sex toys are now a thing. And we’re not talking about repurposed kitchenware or locally grown...
Coregasm
There’s so much information coming at us these days that it’s hard to discern what’s worth retaining. But if you’re going to go to bed with one lasting revelation tonight, then let it be this: 1 in 10 women have accidentally orgasmed while...
Livin’ La Vida In Vitro
Science fiction, you win again. As the dark future nightmares of literature and film steadily manifest into reality, it should come as no surprise that another prophecy may come to be sooner than we think: the end of fucking to make...
The First Lady of Lumber
In what can only be described as pure nightmare fuel, well-meaning albeit confused Slovenians commemorated homeland hero and Lizard Queen/First Lady Melania Trump with a statue that makes Celoron’s serial killer Lucille Ball look...
She’s Not Heavy
Welcome to the only sporting event that really matters—not even the Super Bowl comes close to capturing the majesty, grandeur and glory of the North American Wife Carrying Championship. Gentlemen, lift your spouses, and take your marks! The 20th...
If It Walks Like A Duck…
In July America’s Racist-in-Chief took aim at “The Squad”: Ilhan Omar of Minnesota, Rashida Tlaib of Michigan, Ayanna Pressley of Massachusetts and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York, a quartet of progressive Democrats in Congress...
Swinger Down!
We all like to point fingers, but sex isn’t a one-size-fits-all type of thing. What’s normal in Japan may seem weird to us and vice versa. But can we all just pause and mutually acknowledge that British people are into some next-level kink? Not...
The Biggest Little Earner
Former Beaver Hunt babe Alice Little may appear diminutive in size, but the larger-than-life sex worker is a big earner who makes a tidy living in Nevada, where brothels are legal. Starting rate: $2,000. In an article for...
