Bits & Pieces

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July 2021

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Pussy Power
Bits & Pieces

Pussy Power

Monster tentacle rape? Fine. Schoolgirls molested on public transportation? Love it. Women’s faces covered in gobs of random dude semen? Bring it on! But data that could be used to generate a “manko”...
Club Girl: Sonya Jade
Bits & Pieces

Club Girl: Sonya Jade

Just 4-11 and weighing under 100 pounds, this 35-year-old Las Vegas native may be petite, but she knows how to throw her weight around, both in the kitchen and on the stripper pole. Before manning...
If Trump, Then Canada
Bits & Pieces

If Trump, Then Canada

Commentator Pat Buchanan (yes, he lives—if you consider writing political screed about how unfair life is for rich white bastards like him, living) may call Donald Trump “The Great White Hope,”...
She’ll Take Incredibly Awkward for $200
Bits & Pieces

She’ll Take Incredibly Awkward for $200

Jeopardy! has televised its share of uncomfortable moments over its 32- year run, but the game show sunk to new depths when host Trebek turned to journalist/celebrity contestant...
The Naked…And The Dead
Feature

The Naked…And The Dead

Some people are so scared by repression and guilt that they need an atmosphere of force or violence to become sexually aroused. They have been taught to believe that sex is evil, a sin, and that...
Badass Beauty Pageants
Feature

Badass Beauty Pageants

IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN, WHEN WE ARBITRARILY PICK ONE LADY FROM EVERY STATE AND THEN RANDOMLY SELECT ONE OF THOSE AND DECLARE HER MISS AMERICA. OR IF STEVE HARVEY IS HOSTING, HE CROWNS...
London Keyes For President
Feature

London Keyes For President

IN THE UPCOMING PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION, THE CANDIDATES ARE EITHER DULL OR CRAZY, AND THEIR PLATFORMS ARE A MIXTURE OF UNIMAGINATIVE, UNWORKABLE IDEAS. BUT VOTERS NEED NOT DESPAIR....
Politics

Hitler Happens

Donald Trump is not Adolf Hitler. Not yet, anyway. Hopefully Americans are collectively smart enough not to ultimately fall for his divisive message of hate. But enough Republicans have fallen for it that we...
Politics

Class Warfare: We’re Ready to Fight!

Bob Dylan’s lyrics capturing the turbulent 1960s—“Something is happening here, but you don’t know what it is, do you, Mister Jones?”—resonate today with the enormous...
Utah’s Nitty Gritty Titty Committee
Bits & Pieces

Utah’s Nitty Gritty Titty Committee

Hang on to your magic underwear, people of Utah. Your state government has officially declared pornography a “public health hazard.” State Senator Todd Weiler sponsored the...
Detachable Penis
Bits & Pieces

Detachable Penis

Vandals of Arcachon, a small seaside resort in France, have cut off Heracles’ dick for the last time. Erected in 1948 to honor local heroes of the French Resistance, the ten-foot marble man has been a...
Blond Ambition
Bits & Pieces

Blond Ambition

Bakersfield, California. Home to those who struck it rich in the oil business, Basque immigrants and descendants of poor Oklahoman farmers who migrated during the Dust Bowl. More West Texas than West Coast....
Ted’s XXX Adventure
Bits & Pieces

Ted’s XXX Adventure

Looking to get off and vomit simultaneously? XHamster has procured porn featuring Ted Cruz doppelganger Searcy Hayes, a 21-year-old from Natchez, Mississippi, discovered on the Maury Show. “She’s no...
A Royal Proclamation
Bits & Pieces

A Royal Proclamation

This hilarious Queen Elizabeth II gif has been floating around the Internet for months. Seems Her Majesty recently turned 90 and decided she’s finally old enough to tell the world exactly what she thinks of...
Declaration of Sexual Rights & Responsibilities
Feature

Declaration of Sexual Rights & Responsibilities

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Parody, January ’85
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Parody, January ’85

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Illustration by Alex Ebel, July ’88
Feature

Illustration by Alex Ebel, July ’88

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Mr. Flynt Goes to Washington
Feature

Mr. Flynt Goes to Washington

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The Bicentennial Ball
Feature

The Bicentennial Ball

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Publisher’s Statement, October ’82
Feature

Publisher’s Statement, October ’82

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Cover, October ’77
Feature

Cover, October ’77

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