Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

Cartoons

Illustrated monthly funnies

Jokes

Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

Unapologetic political satire

close slideout
Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
Magazine new arrow

April 2024

Featuring Kendra Sunderland
Join HUSTLER Magazine trial promo image

Intro Offer:
3 days for only $0.99!

Latest Articles

Young John’s Schlong
Bits & Pieces

Young John’s Schlong

“I can keep an erection almost indefinitely,” porn legend John Holmes told HUSTLER in 1983. “I can also keep an erection straddling a girl at the edge of a cliff, looking down at 300 feet of nothing,...
Club Girl: Shavelle Love
Bits & Pieces

Club Girl: Shavelle Love

Shavelle declares. “It’s a place where anything goes. I love the heat. Traffic isn’t bad. Everything is open. Parking is never a problem. And there’s always a pool party somewhere!”...
Rooms With a View
Bits & Pieces

Rooms With a View

Suspecting that she might be her generation’s Don McCullin, 17-year-old Jo Broughton wanted to change the world through photography. Thing is, she sucked at art school. “I was really bad,” she laughs....
Furry Fury
Bits & Pieces

Furry Fury

Hey, furries, Tony the Tiger has had it up to here with your smutty tweets. The Kellogg cereal mascot tried being patient with the furry fans who flooded his official Twitter account with lewd, lascivious...
Hap-Penis
Bits & Pieces

Hap-Penis

The world’s first FDA-cleared penis implant is here. Yeah, yeah—we know, bigger isn’t better, and most women say they don’t care how big a dick is (according to a 2014 report based on a study of 26,437...
Satan Is My Copilot
Bits & Pieces

Satan Is My Copilot

Even those who avoid the Trinity Broadcasting Network got a nice whiff of bullshit when a segment from Kenneth Copeland’s Believer’s Voice of Victory recently went viral. Copeland, truly one of today’s...
Somewhere, An Egret Cried
Bits & Pieces

Somewhere, An Egret Cried

Pointing a gun at a Federal officer is a crime, but for almost a month, the government response to the antigovernment protest at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon was restrained, at...
Club Girl: Melanie
Bits & Pieces

Club Girl: Melanie

After spending the last six months traveling back and forth between Minnesota and Las Vegas, our 25-year-old Club Girl decided to plant her high heels squarely in Sin City, where you can find her dancing at...
Mean Tweets
Bits & Pieces

Mean Tweets

Obama’s done it; kids do it; even Canadians do it. It didn’t take long for Jimmy Kimmel’s segment “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” to drip its way through pop culture. Thing is, most porn stars don’t...
XXX Mashup
Bits & Pieces

XXX Mashup

There’s too much wanky guitar music to make it strictly educational, too much British accented voice-over to make it porn. A video clip titled “Camera Inside of the Vagina During Sex in Missionary...
Pimp My Ride
Bits & Pieces

Pimp My Ride

Dutch parliament member Gert-Jan Segers got a stiff lesson in “If you don’t want the answer, don’t ask the question.” A member of the ChristenUnie, a socially conservative Christian political party,...
Hot As Hell
Bits & Pieces

Hot As Hell

New research from the National Bureau of Economic Research suggests that higher temperatures will hurt reproductive health by reducing both fertility and “coital frequency.” Hey, you can’t fool us—that...
Club Girl: Onyx Muse
Bits & Pieces

Club Girl: Onyx Muse

My regular customers always brighten up my night when they visit unexpectedly. When I connect with someone, we experience things together. Those memories are special, spiritual and therapeutic experiences that...
Motherfuck
Bits & Pieces

Motherfuck

What makes us adore MILFs? Is it that certain grace a woman acquires with maturity? Is it the knowledge of pleasure and sexual experience she offers? Or is it simply the desire to feed some misplaced,...
Serving The Armed Services
Bits & Pieces

Serving The Armed Services

For the past three years Mike Busey, founder of the Sausage Castle, a famed party house in Central Florida, has honored Veterans Day by sending pizza to veterans and active service members...
Politics

War On Whistleblowers

If President Barack Obama wants to keep one of his foremost 2008 campaign promises, he should issue a blanket pardon for all of those brave people faced with imprisonment for attempting to expose the...
Politics

GOP Power Grab

The Republican Party likes to pretend it favors “free market” competition and opposes “big government” regulations and fees that keep private businesses from thriving. Those Republicans, however, are...
Good Things Come In Threes
Bits & Pieces

Good Things Come In Threes

Is there anything technology can’t do? A new phone app is making threeways something that could actually happen—routinely! 3nder (pronounced thrinder), created by London-based Dimo...
Penis Envy
Bits & Pieces

Penis Envy

Sure, your penis is talented, but not as talented as Tim Patch’s. Patch, an Australian artist who goes by Pricasso, creates about a thousand portraits and landscapes a year using only his penis, scrotum and...
Club Girl: Felix Roxx
Bits & Pieces

Club Girl: Felix Roxx

Felix Roxx has some etiquette advice: Put away your cell phones, gentlemen. “I really don’t like it when people sit at the stage looking at their phones while a pretty girl is dancing,”...
Dumb As Shit
Bits & Pieces

Dumb As Shit

With May proms right around the corner, students across the country are marching off to sex ed assemblies to, presumably, learn about sex. Unfortunately, chances are that these kids—not to mention...