Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Latest Articles
Bits & Pieces
Long Live Sex!
Do you know what telomeres are? They are about to improve your sex life. If at times it seems like getting your lady into bed involves cajoling or bargaining or standing on your fucking head, then this news is...
Bits & Pieces
The Real Fake News: Benedict Arnold Is Innocent
“It was a 20-minute meeting mainly about adoptions and the weather. Nothing came of it.” —General Benedict Arnold WASHINGTON, D.C.—A “treasure...
Bits & Pieces
Dick-ometrics
You’ve heard of biometrics, but one live-cam site is taking identification protocols far beyond retinal scans, into extremely intimate territory. CamSoda requests that its subscribers log in with their dick...
Bits & Pieces
Prison Perks
Rise of the machines? Seems like it was only a matter of time before drones made humans obsolete—specifically the brave men and women who keister drugs and SIM cards into penitentiaries. As reported by The...
Feature
Sick Nick
NICK SWARDSON FIRST ROLLED HIS WAY INTO OUR HEARTS AS STREET MEAT IN RENO 911! AND CONTINUES TO BARE HIS PLUCKY SOUL IN ADAM SANDLER’S FINEST FLICKS. RENOWNED FOR RAUNCHY TRUTHS VIA GAY ROBOT, SWARDSON’S...
Feature
Along Came Poly
If monogamy works, why is the divorce rate pushing 50%? Today enjoying a relationship with multiple partners is more accepted than ever. It’s called polyamory, and it promises love without limits. It was...
Politics
Watergate Pales in Comparison
I rise today, Mr. Speaker, to call for the impeachment of the President of the United States of America!” Representative Al Green (D-Texas) was a lonely voice on the floor of the U.S....
Politics
Arming a Villain
What’s up with Donald Trump and Saudi Arabia? And why has the mainstream media ignored this incredibly cozy connection? Before being elected President, Trump pledged to combat Islamic extremism, and yet...
Bits & Pieces
Fap to the Future
Porn lovers, our prayers have finally been answered—no longer must we lay our dignity on the line to masturbate in front of the computer screen. Relax and enjoy your wank without the constant fear of someone...
Bits & Pieces
The Real Fake News: Pillory Hillary?
It’s been nearly a year since President Clinton was elected to office by a landslide in both the popular vote and Electoral College. Her victory came easy after the FBI found...
Bits & Pieces
ISIS Crisis
ISIS was plunged into disarray today after a leading Muslim cleric announced that martyrs dying for Allah will not be rewarded with 72 virgins, but with just one 72- year-old virgin. According to the Akhand of...
Feature
Your Daly Dose
When was the last time Fabio cornered you on the power of protein? Or you got paid to be Bill Murray? Or totally fooled the world into thinking that you were the Red Hot Chili Peppers? Such are the life and...
Politics
Scary Apprentice
Honestly, I have tried to cut Donald Trump some slack by refusing to pile on with the Russia-bashing. I strongly believe that it reflects an absurdly out-of-date Red-baiting of Vladimir Putin, a Christian who...
Politics
Reefer Madness?
Where were you when marijuana became legal in this country? Yeah, man, it happened, and you didn’t even notice. But not because you were stoned. Once the stuff is legal for recreational use—as it is in...
Politics
More War
In early April, as President Donald Trump’s approval ratings were near the lowest they’d been since taking office, a suspected chemical attack killed dozens of civilians —including many children— in...
Bits & Pieces
Death by Dick
Richard Patterson, 65, was recently acquitted of second-degree murder after trial arguments pointed to the fact that his partner’s death was an accident—poor woman might have choked on his prick. Where...
Bits & Pieces
Spoiler Alert: Jackie O Loved Money
When will Americans end their obsession with Jackie O? Never. The iconoclastic First Lady has forever been fawned over for being beautiful, soft-spoken, graceful and elegant....
Bits & Pieces
The Real Fake News: Trump Seeks Asylum in Russia
As the likelihood of President Trump’s impeachment grows, a new shock leak from the White House reveals that he is desperately seeking political asylum in...
Bits & Pieces
Audition for Prison
A man in Kansas, named Mario Antoine, has admitted to tricking dozens of women into having sex with him by pretending to be a porn mogul. Not only was he duping women by promising them stardom and payment, but...
