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Corey Taylor: “How the Fuck Did We Get Out Alive?”
Corey Taylor is the most diverse singer in rock and roll. Period. End of discussion. As the lead singer of Stone Sour, he became one of modern rock’s most consistent melodic voices. As leader of the horror rock band Slipknot, he donned terrifying masks and screamed his way through a barrage of hard nu metal...
Hang Up the Hang-Ups!
Do you have an inhibition that prevents you from enjoying sex to the fullest? You’re not alone; lots of people do. Luckily, there are ways to get past the bedroom bugaboos that are blocking your path to pleasure. In casual conversation, everyone approaches the topic of sex as if they are big and bad, down...
Want to Play With My Toys?
Why you should stop worrying and learn to love your woman’s sex toy collection. It’s no secret by now that men often feel threatened by a woman’s sex toys. They see them as some kind of fierce competition, like they’re on deck to steal their entire family at the first sign of impotence. The contemptuous...
Lifestyles of the Rich and Thomas
The Supreme Court’s most corrupt Justice is still sitting there—still corrupt and still corrupting. This may become an annual thing. Last year, almost precisely at this time, I documented “the stain left on American jurisprudence and democracy by the corrupt, right-wing, activist jurist and his corrupt, right-wing, activist wife.” I was writing about U.S. Supreme...
Asshole of the Month: Jesse Watters
While the air we breathe grows hotter and more foul by the year, at least we can be thankful for a reduction in airwave pollution lately: Bill O’Reilly was canned by Fox in April 2017 after The New York Times reported that the company had shelled out $13 million in sexual-harassment suit settlements to five...
Hump-Day Special: Lickety Split Vol. 3
Got a hankering for some snatch-lapping action? You’re in luck, because the Coochie Cafe is open, and pussy is definitely on the menu. Open wide, because these beauties certainly are! Stella May & Carter Cruise Natalia Starr & Zoey Foxx Jacynda & Swan Ariana Marie & Abigail Mac Miela & Eileen Tracey & Celeste Jayme...
Hey, Jealousy—Get Lost!
Essential tips for preventing the green-eyed monster from taking over your relationship. When it comes to jealousy in relationships, most folks are either ashamed to admit to being affected by it, or they wear it like a badge of honor. (If you’ve ever said, “I can’t help it, I’m just a jealous person,” remember: jealousy...
Friday Funnies: Totally Hooked Vol. 7
Hey, mister, looking for a good time? Well, you’re in luck, because we’re hitting the street for a hilarious look at the world’s oldest profession, courtesy of HUSTLER’s vast archive of outrageous cartoons. Enjoy! “How much for Position 375?” “I’ll be home soon, honey. I’m at the theater, watching the Fantastic Four.” “Baby, I can’t...
HUSTLER Two-Timers: Numi Zarah
Welcome to HUSTLER Two-Timers, where we celebrate Honeys so nice, we’ve featured them twice! Today we’re focusing our affection and attention on Numi Zarah, an exotic stunner from Duarte, California, which is known as the City of Health—and this 36DDD knockout certainly makes us feel great. Numi made her first big impression on HUSTLER readers...
Well, how about…
“Well, how about that—there is a god!”...
We’re a perfect match…
“We’re a perfect match: She loves to suck dick, and I have one.”...
I know you have a pair…
“I know you have a pair, but what’s in your hand?”...
The cheat days…
“The cheat days we agreed on were just for breaking our diets.”...
How much porn…
“How much porn are you watching exactly?”...
Yes, Cindy…
“Yes, Cindy, that is flirting!”...
Mr. Hudson came home…
Mr. Hudson came home to find his wife sitting naked in front of a mirror, admiring her tits. “What do you think you’re doing?” he asked. Mrs. Hudson replied, “I went to the doctor today, and he said I have the breasts of a 25-year-old.” “Oh, yeah?” her husband snorted. “And what did the doctor...
Cliff and Bubba drove to a gas station…
Cliff and Bubba drove to a gas station because they’d heard about a contest for customers who bought a full tank of gas. While inside to pay up, Cliff hit up the attendant about the contest. “If you win, you’re entitled to free sex,” she explained. “How do we enter?” Cliff asked. The attendant replied,...
While taking a coffee break, four surgeons…
While taking a coffee break, four surgeons discussed their work. The first declared, “I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up, and everything inside is numbered.” The second said, “I’ve found that librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up, and everything inside is in alphabetical order.”...
Saturday Special: Sole Sisters Vol. 4
Foot fanatics, rejoice! We’re back with another collection of HUSTLER Honeys showing off their pretty peds, tantalizing tootsies and sexy soles. Enjoy the fancy footwork! Lilly Bella Katie Kush Alissa Foxy Ziva Fey Stacy Cruz Hayden Hawkens Dolly Leigh...
Fuck-Buddy Finesse
Navigating a friends-with-benefits relationship can be tricky, but play your cards right and you could find yourself balls-deep in commitment-free fucking. Listen closely to what’s going on outside at this very moment and you will hear something absolutely, positively horrifying. No, it’s not the latest rights-eroding decision being handed down by the Supreme Court, even...
Friday Funnies: Bear With Us
In the mood for some grizzly humor? You’re in luck, because we’re bringing you some laughs of the ursine variety, courtesy of HUSTLER’s vast archive of outrageous cartoons. Prepare yourself for a fur-ociously funny time! “If there’s a sign saying ‘Don’t Feed the Bears,’ you can pretty much assume you can’t fuck the bears either.”...
