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December 2023

Azura Grace
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Hang Up the Hang-Ups!
Featured Article

Hang Up the Hang-Ups!

Do you have an inhibition that prevents you from enjoying sex to the fullest? You’re not alone; lots of people do. Luckily, there are ways to get past the bedroom bugaboos that are blocking your path to pleasure.

In casual conversation, everyone approaches the topic of sex as if they are big and bad, down for absolutely anything–fingers in buttholes, toes in mouths–totally unfazed by the self-conscious, oddball nature of being human. Nobody, however, wants to let the cat out of the bag and admit that they’re actually more like Howard Hughes than John Holmes. They don’t want their peers to have any clue that they’re really not the pure, unadulterated sex machine that they make themselves out to be down at the bar. 

The porking population, as dumb as it sounds, simply doesn’t feel like it can safely reveal that they may have things that make them uptight in the bedroom. Such a divulgence can result in laughter, ridicule and bullying, and that can forever stifle our sex lives–even more so than they already are stifled. Admitting, for example, that we can’t screw to the best of our ability with the lights on makes us look pretty damn certifiable–or at least prudish. But, in reality, a lot more people than you think have hang-ups that hinder their ability to have the kind of healthy sex lives they often brag about with their friends.

Photo courtesy of HUSTLER Video

People can have all sorts of emotional inhibitions that keep them from unleashing their full animalistic fervor. Many of these snags are based on body issues. Everyone has something they don’t like about their physical form, whether it’s a few extra pounds, a mole with hair growing out of it or a tattoo on their chest that was supposed to be a portrait of their late mother but looks more like Buddha with a banana up his ass. “My ex, who was fairly overweight, never took off his shirt for sex,” Kim, a 42-year-old social worker from Indiana, tells “I told him all the time that I don’t care about his weight, because I’m not exactly skinny. He’d get so mad at me, swearing it wasn’t his weight, he just liked wearing a shirt. I knew he was lying but couldn’t understand why he just couldn’t admit that to me.”

Unfortunately, failing to come clean about a hang-up has been known to destroy relationships. Bedroom idiosyncrasies, when left unexplained to one’s partner, can start to resemble something bordering on insanity. “I like to shower before sex,” explains Loren from Nashville, Tennessee. “Most people shower afterward, not before, so I guess it’s a little weird. I actually prefer if the guy showers first as well, and that can be a hard thing to bring up, but I just can’t get into it fully if everyone’s unclean. It’s a quirk that’s definitely cost me some boyfriends.”

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