How Much…
“How much for Position 375?”...
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I don’t know, Jesus…
“I don’t know, Jesus. Feeding the poor and healing the sick kinda sounds like socialism.”...
Damn! Talk about everything…
“Damn! Talk about everything everywhere all at once!”...
To Hell With All…
“To hell with all the scientific tests. We just want to fuck you!”...
Three nuns were shooting…
“Three nuns were shooting the breeze. Sister Carlotta said, “I was cleaning Father Paul’s room the other day, and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines.” “What did you do?” Sister Sylvia and Sister Bethany asked together. “Of course, I threw them all in the trash,” Sister Carlotta proudly replied. “Well,...
HUSTLER Two-Timers: Jessica Ryan
Welcome to HUSTLER Two-Timers, where we celebrate Honeys so nice, we’ve featured them twice! Today we’re celebrating the beauty, charm and spirit of Jessica Ryan, a free-spirited minx with a hearty appetite for men and women alike—as you’ll soon discover. Jessica made her first major impression on HUSTLER readers with the December ’16 pictorial “Porn...
A doctor told his patient…
A doctor told his patient, “Robert, I have good news and bad news for you.” “Uh, what’s the bad news?” Robert asked. “You have terminal emphysema,” the doctor informed him. “I’d give you three to six months.” “Aw, shit!” Robert bellowed. “So what’s the good news?” The doctor replied, “That smokinghot nurse out in the...
Question: What’s the difference…
Question: What’s the difference between Cialis and Donald Trump? Answer: One is a yellow-orange pill that works to steel erections. The other is a yellow-orange shill that works to steal elections....
Two men were discussing…
Two men were discussing how much trouble their wives gave them about having sex. Pete said, “My wife’s so cold, I can put a glass of water in bed with her, and the next morning it’s turned to ice.” Kevin exclaimed, “Hell, every time my old lady spreads her legs, the friggin’ furnace goes on!”...
Question: What do women’s underwear…
Question: What do women’s underwear and nail polish have in common? Answer: They both come off with alcohol....
An old priest was beginning to get fed up….
An old priest was beginning to get fed up with the number of people confessing to adultery. One Sunday in the pulpit he announced, “If I hear another adultery confession from any of you, I’m quitting.” To avoid incurring his wrath during confessions, the wayward parishioners came up with a code word: Adulterers would tell...
Sunday Funday: Girls on Girls 3
It’s Sunday, which is traditionally a day of rest, but we’re here to help you get your heart rate up and work up a sweat with a scorching-hot collection of HUSTLER Honeys pairing up and getting down with each other. Enjoy! Kat Chase & Kimora Quin Jessica Ryan & Haley Spades Mia Malkova & Riley...
Keep Your Shirt On? No Thanks!
With another summer upon us, a troubling question once again raises its head. Namely, why is public female toplessness still so discouraged in America? We explore the ongoing battle to free the nipple. Summer is upon us. Right now, people all over the country are coming out of hibernation, thawing out their ding-a-lings and snatches,...
A Celebration of Pride
June is not only a harbinger of summer, it is also Pride Month! I had the absolute honor and pleasure of interviewing several LGBTQIA+ sex workers from numerous facets of the adult industry to share their journey, experiences and hopes for making our world (not just the adult industry) a more inclusive and supportive place....
Doing Them Dirty
Because sometimes sex is messy. Filthily, disgustingly, gloriously messy. I was working at this chicken restaurant across the street from my house back in high school when I met this girl who was also working at the bird joint. She worked in salads, while I was a snot-nosed derelict bussing tables and washing dishes. This...
Friday Funnies: Workin’ It Vol. 4
Feel like it’s been all work and no play lately? How about if we combine work and play for a hilarious day on the job, courtesy of HUSTLER’s vast archive of uproarious cartoons? When it comes to cracking you up, these gut-busters just won’t quit! “Actually, I’m looking for someone with computer skills, but hey,...
Saturday Special: Busty Blond Babes 8
Light hair and heavy hooters—is there a better combination? You’d be hard-pressed to find one, for sure. And speaking of hard, prepare yourself for a crotch-stiffening good time, because we’re serving up a cavalcade of chesty blond Honeys for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy! Brittney Skye Romi Rain Brooke Summers Skylar Vox Georgia Adair Jazlyn Ray...
Who’s Your Daddy? Father’s Day Funnies 3
It’s Father’s Day again and, while neckties and cologne are fine and all, may we offer you the gift of laughter? We combed through HUSTLER’s vast archive of uproarious cartoons to bring you a collection of knee-slappers about the lighter side of fatherhood. Go ahead, yuk it up! “Mom and Dad… this is Marie.” “But...
Speed-Fucking
On your mark… get set… screw! Sure, a marathon sex session is nice, but sometimes—for a variety of reasons—you just want to get across the finish line as quickly as possible. There are times during a sexual encounter when a couple’s really going for broke, risking all sorts of gnarly afflictions from heart attack and...
XXX Bikini Babes
Summer’s here, and the time is right…for celebrating hot babes in skimpy swimsuits! Join us as some of our favorite adult-industry vixens extol the virtues of tiny bikinis. There are a few surefire signs that summer is upon us. The warming of the temperature, the scent of sunscreen in the air…and bikinis! Whether it be...
Hump-Day Special: Three Cheers for Blowjobs! Vol. 6
Ah, blowjobs—is there anything better than kicking back and letting a hot girl work her mouth magic on you? Is there a more sublime feeling than a pair of soft, wet lips and a skilled tongue going to town on you until you’re ready to explode? Yeah, we didn’t think so. So prepare yourself for...
Kiara Cole
“In the future, I’d like to own a farm with lots of horses, plants and four-wheelers; but for now I’m happy making porn. I can’t imagine doing anything else. Before I was discovered, I worked at a truck part factory in Illinois. An agent found me on Instagram and contacted...
Kiara Cole & Skye Blue
“I admire Marilyn Monroe. She’s a beauty, a truly iconic figure who inspired me to model. But before that I had a bunch of random jobs, like in a factory. I worked in fast food and even in a deli once. Side note: You’ve got to try a snacker—American cheese,...
In Too Deep
Sure, with summer upon us, the idea of a poke in the pool or the pond might sound tempting, but beware—there are many perils to underwater sex. Summer means different things to different people. For some, it’s family vacations to Disneyland in pursuit of making memories for little Jimmy and Sally. And then there are...
Who came first…
“Who came first, you or me?”...
Friday Funnies: Totally Hooked Vol. 6
Hey mister, looking for a good time? Then today’s your lucky day, because we’re taking a deep dive into HUSTLER’s vast archive of outrageous cartoons to serve up a gut-busting collection of humor revolving around the world’s oldest profession. Enjoy! “I’ll be home soon, honey. I just stopped to pick up a Happy Meal.” “Wanna...
Saturday Special: Diving in Deep 5
Oh, yes; summer is officially here, and you know what that means—time for a nice, refreshing dip in the pool. And you know what makes some pool time even more invigorating? That’s right—a hot, naked chick who’s ready to make a big splash. So go ahead; dive in and do a few strokes while you...
HUSTLER Two-Timers: Kiara Cole
Welcome to HUSTLER Two-Timers, where we celebrate Honeys so nice, we’ve featured them twice! Today we’re focusing our attention and affection on Kiara Cole, a fair-haired beauty from Carbondale, Illinois, which bears the motto “All Ways Open”—and we are certainly grateful for the fact that Kiara has been so open for us in the pages...
Separation Anxiety
So you’ve decided to reunite with your ex—that’s great! Beware, though; asking questions about your partner’s sex life while you were apart can be an emotional minefield. Breaking up is hard to do, or so the saying goes. But it’s not nearly as treacherous as getting back together again. Round two of a relationship is,...
Guilty Pleasures: XXX Edition
Some of our favorite adult-industry performers reveal the surprising movies, TV shows, music and food they indulge in. We all have things we watch, listen to and gobble up that bring us immense joy. Sometimes, those things that we love seem out of character with what we normally partake in, and sometimes they are…well—downright embarrassing!...
