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The Power to Heal: Hands-on Sexual Therapies

Illustrations courtesy The Institute of Somatic Sexology Western civilization has a bipolar relationship with sexuality. From an early age, children are often taught to be ashamed of “indecent” thoughts and punished for looking at porn. And whereas sex is omnipresent in advertising and entertainment, it’s shunned by religious institutions. In schools basic sex education has...

showcase

HUSTLER’s Horny Swingers 2

humor

“Dammit, Dennis! I told you to listen to those HUSTLER Magazine…”

“Dammit, Dennis! I told you to listen to those HUSTLER Magazine audiotapes in the bathroom!”...

humor

A young man named Adam was showing off his new sports car…

A young man named Adam was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend, Suzy. She was thrilled as the car picked up speed. “If I do 150 miles per hour, will you take off all your clothes?” Adam asked. “Yes, honey, I’d love to,” Suzy replied. When the speedometer hit 150, Suzy began...

humor

“You were doing 69 in a 55 zone…”

“You were doing 69 in a 55 zone…”...

honey

Kourtney Rae

“I was a stripper before I got into porn, and I loved taking my clothes off to ’80s rock and getting attention. I was probably 19 when I started dancing. Now I don’t have time to strip and do porn, but I still like giving lap dances. It’s also a...

humor

Misfit Toys

Sex toys in the news? It’s an embarrassment of riches. Right now, even as you read these words, a dildo is making headlines. If there were a CNN for sex, it would have a special sex toy news crawl going along the bottom of the screen. Get the picture? With such abundance, how do we...

humor

“As my mother-in-law, your criticism of my cooking and housecleaning…”

“As my mother-in-law, your criticism of my cooking and housecleaning…that’s one thing…”...

humor

It was the couple’s first role-play night, and Jerry’s wife wore…

It was the couple’s first role-play night, and Jerry’s wife wore a police uniform to bed. “You’re charged with being a great lover,” she told her hubby. Ninety seconds later the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence....

humor

“Dolores is starting to notice boys.”

“Dolores is starting to notice boys.”...

humor

A reporter for a local TV station was interviewing 82-year-old…

A reporter for a local TV station was interviewing 82-year-old Ethel who’d just married for the fourth time. After delving into her backstory and what it felt like being a bride again at her age, the reporter asked, “What is your new husband’s occupation?” “He’s a funeral director,” Ethel replied. Finding that strangely interesting, the...

politics

Asshole of the Month: Elise Stefanik

Now that we’ve been spared Donald Trump’s daily dose of illiterate bullshit for months—Twitter and Facebook have continued his suspension indefinitely—a lot of people think the nightmare is fully over. Not quite so fast. Like a resurrecting monster in a horror movie, Trump is clawing out of his electoral grave and terrorizing the nation with...

politics

Pretending to Protect Democracy

Hundreds of major corporations demand voting rights for all! (No, not really.) The banner for the two-page advertisement in The New York Times and The Washington Post was striking: “WE STAND FOR DEMOCRACY.” Below it the body copy declared, “We all should feel a responsibility to defend the right to vote and to oppose any...

beaver

Eva Ellington

“Working in the adult business was a fun ride,” recalls Eva Ellington, 34, from Beverly, Massachusetts. “Now it’s on to my next step in life. I appreciate a good challenge. I set unrealistic goals and achieve them. I believe that everything happens for a reason and in the end everything...

humor

“HUSTLER is like the United States of America…”

“HUSTLER is like the United States of America. It’s the last great superpower standing, and you just don’t give that shit up!”...

humor

There’s Something About Mary

Like the swallows returning to Capistrano, beloved adult performer Mary Carey is back for another shot at the California gubernatorial seat. But this time she’s serious (minus the puns).“Last time I was young, dumb and full of fun,” Carey said in an interview with San Francisco’s KGO-TV. “And this time I’m more experienced. and I...

humor

One evening, thinking he was being funny, Joey said to his wife…

One evening, thinking he was being funny, Joey said to his wife Maria, “We should start washing your clothes in SlimFast. Maybe it would take a few inches off your butt.” Maria wasn’t amused, and she wouldn’t let such a nasty comment go unnoticed. The next morning Joey grabbed a pair of boxers out of...

humor

“Doing it on Mr. Campbell’s front lawn is a little too doggy-style for me!”

“Doing it on Mr. Campbell’s front lawn is a little too doggy-style for me!”...

humor

“As a urologist, I see a lot of cocks, but I’ve never seen one like the one you have!”

humor

Fap to the Future

It’s too bad there is no national archive for porn. No Presidential library wings dedicated to vintage copies of Swank (or HUSTLER, for that matter). Because porn is so much more than a picture on a screen or page—it’s a horny time capsule, a window into the world of the person who once cherished it....

humor

“Hey, babe. The lockdown is over, so I’m making up for lost time.”

“Hey, babe. The lockdown is over, so I’m making up for lost time. In other words, things are definitely back to normal.”...

humor

Morris told his girlfriend, “I want a quickie.”

Morris told his girlfriend, “I want a quickie.” “As opposed to what?!” she snapped....

humor

Bad, Badder, Baddest

You may know Tig Notaro for her wry ’n’ dry stand-up. Now prepare to meet Tig Notaro: action star and certified badass. The host of the hilarious Funny or Die web series Under a Rock landed a role in Zack Snyder’s latest: Army of the Dead (Netflix), a zombie action extravaganza that dares ask, what...

magazines

August 2021

humor

Kinky Confessions

People are strange, do strange things and pay to have strange things done to them. And thanks to Reddit, we get to glimpse the secret world of some very dedicated essential workers. BuzzFeed did a nifty little listicle this spring, highlighting a Reddit exchange where sex workers—primarily escorts—were asked about the craziest thing someone paid...

humor

Red, Hot and Blue

Think about it: As America slowly but surely crawls out of its COVID hole and sanity is finally restored to the Oval Office, has there been a better time in recent memory to celebrate this soon-to-be-great-again nation? Ladies, gentlemen and nonbinary folk, please rise (or kneel—we respect your choice) for a very special Independence Day...