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“I’m sorry we couldn’t get a military parade, Mr. President, but we did manage to throw together a parade with all of the women you’ve sexually harrassed over the years.”
“I’m sorry we couldn’t get a military parade, Mr. President, but we did manage to throw together a parade with all of the women you’ve sexually harrassed over the years.”...
“I think I’ve found the source of that pain in your ass.”
“I think I’ve found the source of that pain in your ass.”...
“Robert Mueller may have exonerated you on collusion, but I haven’t!”
“Robert Mueller may have exonerated you on collusion, but I haven’t!”...
Cho Headlines Minority Reportz
“I wanted to fuck Bristol Palin,” confessed Margaret Cho during April’s Ethnic AF Comedy Show at the Matrix Theatre in West Hollywood. She encountered the famous teen mom on ABC’s Dancing With the Stars and admitted, “I have this thing for conservative women.” The tattooed Korean-American Cho headlined the recent L.A. laughfest, featuring a diverse roster of...
Hot Button
Hot Button While some state governments are busy dismantling female reproductive rights and enabling rapists to sue their victims for child custody, other less-heinous elected officials are doing their part to make the world a little less shitty for women. In Washington state legislators have mandated the installation of panic buttons in “adult entertainment establishments,”...
The Real Fake News: Dems Introduce “Meh, What Can You Do?” Act
WASHINGTON, D.C.—As calls for impeachment grow around the country, and within the House Democratic caucus, House leadership has drafted a scathing nonbinding resolution they believe will send a far stronger message of meek subservience. “No one is above the law in this country,” said House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-MD), “and this new, strongly worded...
Big Bucks In Smut
Here’s a free life lesson for you: Don’t ever, ever store anything at your parents’ house. Because like any aging mother or father, they will inevitably go through a massive, Marie Kondo-like purge and get rid of anything that isn’t bolted down. Childhood art, clothes, DVDs—gone. But hindsight is 20/20 for one Indiana resident, a 40-year-old divorcé...
Deleted But Not Defeated
Not all users are equal in the eyes of social media, and no one knows this better than the oft-fucked-over sex workers whose accounts are arbitrarily deleted or suspended simply by virtue of what they do for a living. The situation peaked last spring when nearly 200 adult performers added their usernames to a letter...
24 Hours to Live
Ralph returned from the doctor and gave his wife the bad news: “I only have 24 hours to live. Can we make love right now?” She agreed, and they rushed to the bedroom. About six hours later Ralph and the missus were watching TV. “Honey, now I only have 18 hours to live,” Ralph reminded...
Who’s Going to Miss Donald Trump?
Question: Who’s going to miss Donald Trump the most after he leaves the White House? Answer: Late-night comedians. ...
Fred Was Confused
Fred was confused when his doctor prescribed LSD for his constipation. But a few hours later Fred saw a fire-breathing dragon and shit his pants....
Mike and Karen
Mike and his fiancée, Karen, would soon be getting married, so his father sat him down for a little chat. “Son, let me tell you something,” Mike’s dad began. “On my wedding night in the honeymoon suite I took off my pants, handed them to your mother and said, ‘Here, try these on.’ Your mother...
When Joe Died
When Joe died, he went to hell and was immediately taken to a room filled with beautiful, voluptuous blondes and huge kegs of beer. Looking around, Joe saw a demon nearby and cried out, “You call this place hell?! This is my idea of heaven!” “Not so fast, buddy,” the demon hissed. “The kegs all...
Like Father, Like Son
You all remember former Penn State assistant football coach, Jerry Sandusky, who was convicted of diddling young boys? Allow us to refresh your memory. Five years ago Coach Sandusky was outed for a decade’s worth of perverted cock coddling and convicted of a whopping 45 sexual abuse counts. He is now rotting his pedophile paws...
Your Wife And Your Harley?
Question: What’s the difference between your wife and your Harley? Answer: You might let your friends ride your wife. ...
Back of My Pants
Soon after the airliner had reached its cruising altitude, the pilot announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain. Thank you for flying with us today. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth and pleasant flight,” So sit back, relax and…. Omigod!” There was complete silence for a few minutes. Then...
Jeff and Ally
Jeff watched in horror as his wife, Ally, sliced her tee shot through a window of a mansion adjacent to the golf course. “I warned you to be careful,” Jeff sneered. “Now we’ll have to go over there, apologize to the owner and find out how much that lousy drive is gonna cost us.” The...
Man In A White Coat
A beautiful young woman about to undergo a minor operation was lying on a gurney in a hospital hallway. A man in a white coat approached her, lifted up her sheet and visually examined her naked body. He walked away and conferred with another guy in a white coat. The second man approached the patient...
Sex Work Matters
With 2020 fast approaching and impeachment still a long shot, the Democrats vying to take on Trump are piled higher than a zombie horde out of World War Z. But where are the candidates of substance, who stand for something other than self-interest and special interests? These would-be pretenders to the throne better wake up, because...
Decrim for the Win!
If anyone deserves a break these days, it’s got to be sex workers. Relentlessly marginalized, demonized and victimized, they are literally fighting for their lives. Yet amidst the onslaught, hope glimmers. And so it is with cautious optimism that we celebrate some of the encouraging developments in the fight to decriminalize sex work. First stop:...
The Real Fake News: Early Primary Gives Iowans False Impression They Matter
DES MOINES, IA—Despite inclement weather, Iowa residents gather under traditional corn-thatched roofs for what’s become a quadrennial political event as a Hajj of Presidential hopefuls sample local fare, talk policy solutions and pretend to give a fuck about anyone or anything from Iowa. “The corn pudding’s real good this year—the pandering too,” says great patriot...
The Biggest Little Earner
Former Beaver Hunt babe Alice Little may appear diminutive in size, but the larger-than-life sex worker is a big earner who makes a tidy living in Nevada, where brothels are legal. Starting rate: $2,000. In an article for the Huffington Post, Alice describes herself as a regular gal who chose sex work. And don’t you dare assume she...
“Thank you for your service! I haven’t had good service like that in a long time!”
“Thank you for your service! I haven’t had good service like that in a long time!”...
“Oh, wait a minute! Pass those back…that’s my hidden agenda.”
“Oh, wait a minute! Pass those back…that’s my hidden agenda.”...
