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November 2025

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Planet Porn

University students in search of a thesis, rejoice! For the third year Pornhub has gazed deeply into its navel and released analytics that shed XXX light on 2016. To wit: • Collectively, just on Pornhub, humans around the planet spent 4,599,000,000 hours—or 5,246 centuries—watching porn. Oh, the humanity! • Pornhub clocked 23 billion visits for...

Saint Peter

Three women arrived at the pearly gates of heaven and were greeted by Saint Peter. “There will be a place for each of you once you’ve confessed your sins,” Saint Peter assured them. Turning gravely to the first woman, he asked, “What is your sin?” “I married one man, but loved another,” she admitted. “So...

Doctor

“Doctor please kiss me,” the patient pleaded. “No,” the doctor snarled. “You’re a very beautiful woman, but kissing you is against my code of ethics.” “Please, Doc, just one kiss,” the patient insisted. “Sorry,” the doctor muttered. “It’s totally out of the question. I shouldn’t even be fucking you.”  ...

Frustrated Lover

Frustrated by a new lover who refused to go down on her, Abby tried to reason with the guy. “Look, José,” she explained. “If God didn’t want you to eat pussy, why is it shaped like a taco?”...

Earnings

A boss was confused about paying an invoice, so he called his assistant into his office. “Mary, you’re really good with numbers,” he said. “If I were to give you $27,500 and then deducted 13%, how much would you take off?” Mary thought about it for a moment and replied, “Everything but my earrings.”...

Statue of Liberty

Question: Which American woman has had the most men inside her? Answer: The Statue of Liberty....

Steve

As Steve began fucking his girlfriend in the ass for the first time, she screamed, “Stop! It hurts!” “You’re crazy!” Steve fired back. “It feels fucking great!”...

Foreplay

Question: What does a loser call it when he makes a fist and kisses his knuckles? Answer: Foreplay....

The Dentist

A married woman fell for her handsome new dentist. Soon she’d seduced him into a string of passionate encounters in the office after hours. But one day the dentist said, “Darling, we’ve got to stop seeing each other. Your husband is bound to get suspicious.” “Honey, there’s nothing to worry about,” his sexy patient assured...

Strength In Numbers

If there’s anything the Trump Administration has taught us, it’s that size matters. Not just the size of your hands, but the size of your crowds on the National Mall. The Women’s March on January 21st attracted throngs of protesters all over the world. In Washington, according to “crowd scientists” (a booming new field, by...

Grabbing Your Attention

A perk of being a celebrity or President (or in our case a celebrity President) is that you get wax figures sculpted in your likeness. Tourists get to overpay to visit your statue and trick their social media followers into believing they’re hanging out with actual stars. This practice was made famous by Madame Tussauds...

Dick Picks

In the age of social media and online dating, the rules aren’t the same. Dating apps have bred a culture of constant hookups. If you’re a smooth dude, you can use Tinder to have a new woman every night, but what about the not-so-smooth dudes? There’s now an Instagram page devoted to shaming poor pickup...

Stripping For Two

About a year back ThatOregonLife.com “reported” that a new club called Baby Bumpers was opening in the Springfield, Oregon, area. The club’s gimmick was to have women who were at least six months’ pregnant dancing onstage. But while research into the existence of such a club proved futile, it begged the question, is this an...

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