Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
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“Are you sure this is the right way to measure my IQ?”
“Are you sure this is the right way to measure my IQ?”...
“I was thinking. What if the Muslim ban goes into effect, but the terrorists just pretend to be Christians. You know, like us Republicans do!”
“I was thinking. What if the Muslim ban goes into effect, but the terrorists just pretend to be Christians. You know, like us Republicans do!”...
“If you make any cracks about getting half off, I’ll head-butt you in the nuts!”
“If you make any cracks about getting half off, I’ll head-butt you in the nuts!”...
“When Donald Trump said he wanted to take the country back, I didn’t think he would take it this far back!”
“When Donald Trump said he wanted to take the country back, I didn’t think he would take it this far back!”...
“My goodness! You’re like a little child, Robert! How did you manage to get lipstick on your brand-new trousers?”
“My goodness! You’re like a little child, Robert! How did you manage to get lipstick on your brand-new trousers?”...
“If she’s giving it away for free, there’s really nothing we can do.”
“If she’s giving it away for free, there’s really nothing we can do.”...
“Thomas Jefferson was my favorite President. He wrote the Declaration of Independence, smoked marijuana and fucked black chicks!”
“Thomas Jefferson was my favorite President. He wrote the Declaration of Independence, smoked marijuana and fucked black chicks!”...
“There are only two commandments you must follow: ‘Don’t come inside me’ and ‘Don’t come in my mouth.’”
“There are only two commandments you must follow: ‘Don’t come inside me’ and ‘Don’t come in my mouth.’”...
“I’m feeling so depressed! My penis has died. Can I bury it in your vagina?”
“I’m feeling so depressed! My penis has died. Can I bury it in your vagina?”...
“We could have done worse—we could have wound up with Bill Cosby!”
“We could have done worse—we could have wound up with Bill Cosby!”...
“Bad dog! Bad!! How many times have I told you not to smoke my cigarettes?!”
“Bad dog! Bad!! How many times have I told you not to smoke my cigarettes?!”...
“You told me that you voted for Trump! You must love this!”
“You told me that you voted for Trump! You must love this!”...
“Hang in there, kid. We’ve got a good chance of winning this one on appeal!”CLASSIC CARTOON, APRIL ’87
“Hang in there, kid. We’ve got a good chance of winning this one on appeal!” CLASSIC CARTOON, APRIL ’87...
CLASSIC CARTOON, NOVEMBER ’03
CLASSIC CARTOON, NOVEMBER ’03...
“Mr. Flynt likes to come here occasionally and give thanks for the three P’s: pussy, politics and poker.” CLASSIC CARTOON, DECEMBER ’02
“Mr. Flynt likes to come here occasionally and give thanks for the three P’s: pussy, politics and poker.” CLASSIC CARTOON, DECEMBER ’02...
CLASSIC CARTOON, NOVEMBER ’04
CLASSIC CARTOON, NOVEMBER ’04...
A Priest, a Nun, and a Camel
A priest and a nun were crossing the Sahara Desert when the camel they’d been riding dropped dead. After being stranded for days, they gave up all hope of being rescued. “Before I die, I’d like to see a woman naked,” the priest declared. “Sister, would you take off your clothes so I can look...
Introducing Drama
Question: What’s a surefire way to introduce some drama into your home life? Answer: While screwing your wife, casually mention that her pussy isn’t as tight as her sister’s. ...
Jasper
Jasper was excited when his teenage daughter got an A+ in one of her classes—until he found out that the class was sex education....
The Difference Between a Slut and a Bitch
Question: What’s the difference between a slut and a bitch? Answer: The slut lets you and your pals gangbang her. The bitch does too, but she gives all of you an STD. ...
My Boss Is Coming
While yapping on the phone with her best friend, a secretary said, “I’ve gotta go. My boss is coming.” “Does he get mad when we talk on the phone?” the friend inquired. “Not usually,” the secretary replied. “But he just pulled out, and he’s squirting all over the back of my dress!” ...
