Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

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September 2022

Scarlett Alexis
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Latest Articles

Brace Yourself
Bits & Pieces

Brace Yourself

Braces hold a certain cringe factor when it comes to blowjobs, but where some imagine metal scraping skin, others see an opportunity for sexual pleasure. Kuang-Yi, a multidisciplinary researcher, earned his...
Lame Duck Fucks
Bits & Pieces

Lame Duck Fucks

What the fuck, Ohio? While the rest of the country was sniggering at the need for your state to pass an anti-bestiality bill (it’s not exactly an epidemic), State GOP lawmakers came in under the wire to pad...
Perversion Conversion
Bits & Pieces

Perversion Conversion

If you have enough money, you can get seated at any table. Take, for instance, Donald Trump’s pick for secretary of the Department of Education, Betsy “My Teeth Are Whiter Than Yours” DeVos....
Mind Fuck
Bits & Pieces

Mind Fuck

A Canadian study has found another benefit to penis-in-pussy action. Researchers from McGill University recently published an article—“Frequency of Penile-Vaginal Intercourse is Associated with Verbal...
Body Hack Hell
Feature

Body Hack Hell

 IT’S NOON ON WEDNESDAY, AND I’M CHOOSING TO EAT A WHOLE PLAIN POTATO. OF MY OWN FREE WILL. I STEAMED IT IN MY OFFICE MICROWAVE LIKE THE WEIRD SAD GUY FROM ACCOUNTING DOES. IT’S THE KIND YOU...
Booty Call
Feature

Booty Call

Calling all ass enthusiasts! True derriere devotees truly know their butt globes. Test your prowess here, and win Larry’s Favorite Magazine free for a year! Match the beautiful behind at left to the stunning...
Match Her Snatch
Feature

Match Her Snatch

Think pink, and win a free subscription to HUSTLER Magazine! 2016 was a banner year for pussy, my friend. Witness the cornucopia of cunt displayed below. Each of these delicious quims belongs to a 2016 Honey....
Hot Showers
Feature

Hot Showers

Breasts sliding against full, slippery breasts. Pussies that are wetter than water. Soapy, utterly delicious bodies. Enjoy this steamy lesbian XXX photo special. Butt and kitty action, nipple-twisting and...
State of the Union
Feature

State of the Union

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Politics

End of the (Pipe)line

While the corporate media and much of the country were obsessed with the threat posed by Donald Trump’s Presidential candidacy, the Lakota and Dakota Sioux nations had another concern. Their people...
Politics

Working-Class Woes

How did this happen? As I absorb the once impossibly ludicrous spectacle of the inauguration of Donald Trump as the 45th President of the United States, I remain in a state of shock shared by the majority of...
Johnny Wad Kennedy
Bits & Pieces

Johnny Wad Kennedy

High on Election Day adrenaline, MSNBC’s Chris Matthews shocked and titillated a panel of nebbish cohosts by offhandedly remarking that John F. Kennedy once visited a porn theater to blow off election-eve...
Lust in Translation
Bits & Pieces

Lust in Translation

#OneMoreCoolThingJapanHasThatWeDon’t: a titty contest judged “from a female perspective.” Sadly, HUSTLER’s Japanese translators have been out sick all month, but between Twitter, YouTube and...
Well-Fucked Planet
Bits & Pieces

Well-Fucked Planet

Earth Day—a vapid, made-up holiday celebrated by self-congratulatory idiots who believe that turning organic baby food jars into candle votives and participating in drum circles will Make a Difference and...
Hello, Slattern
Bits & Pieces

Hello, Slattern

 Like a lot of media, HUSTLER did not wake up in time to smell the funeral. Most of us came in to work on November 9, 2016, dazed and confused. “Donald Trump’s Victory Proves That America Hates...
Hot Letters
Feature

Hot Letters

EVERY YEAR WE RECEIVE HUNDREDS OF STEAMY LETTERS FROM YOU, OUR READERS. HERE ARE A FEW OF OUR HOTTEST HOT LETTERS, THE BEST OF THE BEST. SO LOCK THE DOOR. WARM UP YOUR FINGERS OR YOUR FAVORITE TOY. GET...
Politics

DEA’s Reefer Madness

Legalized marijuana is a hit. The production, distribution and sale of medical marijuana is no longer prohibited in the majority of states, and even in those that have also legalized cannabis for recreational...
Politics

Kill the Death Penalty

Let’s put the Christ back in Christmas by recalling that he was put to death following a sham trial. This is a fact I pondered after interviewing a former death row inmate named Gary Tyler, who was...
Mississippi Mud
Bits & Pieces

Mississippi Mud

Three cheers for the five bufuing freedom fighters who recently filed a federal class action lawsuit against Mississippi for its ass-backwards sodomy laws. (What is sodomy? We’re glad you asked! Strictly...
Love Is a Battlefield
Bits & Pieces

Love Is a Battlefield

Sixty years too late for John F. Kennedy’s Profiles in Courage, we pay homage this month to folks who’ve braved shame and humiliation to get themselves to the emergency room, after an initial...
Name That Dick(tator)
Bits & Pieces

Name That Dick(tator)

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