Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

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Illustrated monthly funnies

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Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

Unapologetic political satire

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August 2024

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Latest Articles

Hot As Hell
Bits & Pieces

Hot As Hell

New research from the National Bureau of Economic Research suggests that higher temperatures will hurt reproductive health by reducing both fertility and “coital frequency.” Hey, you can’t fool us—that...
Club Girl: Onyx Muse
Bits & Pieces

Club Girl: Onyx Muse

My regular customers always brighten up my night when they visit unexpectedly. When I connect with someone, we experience things together. Those memories are special, spiritual and therapeutic experiences that...
Motherfuck
Bits & Pieces

Motherfuck

What makes us adore MILFs? Is it that certain grace a woman acquires with maturity? Is it the knowledge of pleasure and sexual experience she offers? Or is it simply the desire to feed some misplaced,...
Serving The Armed Services
Bits & Pieces

Serving The Armed Services

For the past three years Mike Busey, founder of the Sausage Castle, a famed party house in Central Florida, has honored Veterans Day by sending pizza to veterans and active service members...
Politics

War On Whistleblowers

If President Barack Obama wants to keep one of his foremost 2008 campaign promises, he should issue a blanket pardon for all of those brave people faced with imprisonment for attempting to expose the...
Politics

GOP Power Grab

The Republican Party likes to pretend it favors “free market” competition and opposes “big government” regulations and fees that keep private businesses from thriving. Those Republicans, however, are...
Good Things Come In Threes
Bits & Pieces

Good Things Come In Threes

Is there anything technology can’t do? A new phone app is making threeways something that could actually happen—routinely! 3nder (pronounced thrinder), created by London-based Dimo...
Penis Envy
Bits & Pieces

Penis Envy

Sure, your penis is talented, but not as talented as Tim Patch’s. Patch, an Australian artist who goes by Pricasso, creates about a thousand portraits and landscapes a year using only his penis, scrotum and...
Club Girl: Felix Roxx
Bits & Pieces

Club Girl: Felix Roxx

Felix Roxx has some etiquette advice: Put away your cell phones, gentlemen. “I really don’t like it when people sit at the stage looking at their phones while a pretty girl is dancing,”...
Dumb As Shit
Bits & Pieces

Dumb As Shit

With May proms right around the corner, students across the country are marching off to sex ed assemblies to, presumably, learn about sex. Unfortunately, chances are that these kids—not to mention...
Fight For Your Rights… Or Lose Them
Feature

Fight For Your Rights… Or Lose Them

Paul Krassner, longtime satirist and activist, recounts the history of abortion in his lifetime—from illegal to legal to the deterioration of a woman’s reproductive rights...
Promiscuity & Podcasts
Feature

Promiscuity & Podcasts

What started out as sex talk with exes has turned into an on-air revolution. Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson, the outspoken ladies of the New York comedy duo Sorry About Last Night, get down...
A SLUT & Proud Of It
Feature

A SLUT & Proud Of It

Call her a slut, a whore or a gold digger all you want. Amber Rose doesn’t give a fuck. The famously bald-headed beauty with the larger-than-life booty is fresh off her SlutWalk runway, and there’s...
Politics

We Can’t Bomb Our Way to Peace

In late 2003, as our nation’s worst foreign policy disaster was beginning to unfold in Iraq, then-Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld sent a memo to his top advisers asking how the United...
Politics

An Alliance That Deserves to Die

Our country’s foreign policy is generally a well-mannered affair that’s been known to mask truly bizarre events as reasonably tidy. But every once in a while the absurdity of...
Stoya: Belle of the Ballroom
Bits & Pieces

Stoya: Belle of the Ballroom

HUSTLER’s favorite New Yorker, Stoya, has a theory about why she was tapped to host the 2016 XBIZ Awards. “I have a little bit of a reputation for going ahead and saying things that are...
Club Girl: Kat Dior
Bits & Pieces

Club Girl: Kat Dior

“I love risk. And being nude in public, in broad daylight, is always a rush,” confesses our March Club Girl. “It wasn’t easy walking around in heels on a train track, but hey, I made it work.”...
Holy Fuck!
Bits & Pieces

Holy Fuck!

During Pope Francis’s three-day whirlwind visit to the U.S., the holy man shook hands with the prominent and the downtrodden, kissed babies, and spoke movingly about love, forgiveness and charity. He also...
Liberating Literature
Bits & Pieces

Liberating Literature

It’s hard to imagine anyone, even a hot-blooded teenager, springing a boner while reading about a middle-aged woman finding a lump on her cervix. But that’s what keeps Tennessee mom Jackie Sims...
Politics

Voting Machine Boondoogle Continues

Last September New York University’s Brennan Center for Justice issued a terrifying report titled “America’s Voting Machines at Risk.” According to the comprehensive...
Politics

Shady Arabia

Shit happens, okay, extremely evil shit like a lunatic couple in San Bernardino, California, deciding to turn the husband’s office holiday party into a killing-field bloodbath. The Revenge of the Crazy...