Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
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Bits & Pieces
Be All You Can Be
Guess what, world? We’re not a bunch of babies who can’t handle it if the soldiers serving in our military don’t all present as John Wayne. The Pentagon recently announced that transgender troops on...
Bits & Pieces
Doll Ball
Maybe he couldn’t face another holiday alone. Perhaps she reminded him of the one who got away. Something inspired 55-year-old Christopher Wade to abduct a curvy brunette mannequin from a HUSTLER Hollywood...
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The Final Girls
THEY KNOW HOW TO SCREAM, THEY KNOW HOW TO DIE, BUT ABOVE ALL, THEY KNOW HOW TO KICK SOME BOGEYMAN ASS! ONE BY ONE THE REST OF THE CHARACTERS HAVE BEEN STABBED, HUNG, RIPPED LIMB FROM LIMB, UNTIL THE ONLY...
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The Nude Elephant in the Room
LIVE FROM THE 2-1-5, JESSA JORDAN REPORTS ON HER LIFE AS A BLACK ANARCHIST STRIPPER DURING THE 2016 DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION IN PHILADELPHIA. By day I bend light and arch limbs as a...
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Wheeler Walker Jr.
LIKE ROY ROGERS AND GENE AUTRY BEFORE HIM, WHEELER WALKER JR. IS A SINGING COWBOY. BUT UNLIKE YOUR GRANDDADDY’S HEROES, THIS HAT-WEARING HILLBILLY IS MORE LIKELY TO CROON TUNES LIKE “FUCK YOU BITCH” THAN...
Politics
Go Vote!
If voting made any difference, they wouldn’t let us do it,” Mark Twain is believed to have quipped. However, there is no clear-cut evidence he said anything of the sort. Who ever first uttered those words...
Politics
The Filthy Rich Get Richer
And the winner is…Goldman Sachs! America’s big bankers don’t really care whether the next President is named Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump. Once Bernie Sanders was knocked out...
Bits & Pieces
Vagina Demagogue
Our apologies—we really can’t wait to stop talking about Trump. But Gabriella Paiella’s piece for New York magazine, “Why Are Trump’s Hands Always Making the Symbol for ‘Vagina,’” posed a...
Bits & Pieces
Olympic Glory
“Am I the only person who thinks the Walk of Nations, from above, looks like a giant vagina? #OpeningCeremony #Rio2016,” tweeted @JasonKorolenko. No, Jason, you were not. Sure, Olympic media coverage of...
Bits & Pieces
Tell Us Something We Don’t Know
Having little else to do, journalists across the nation recently reported on a paper published by New York University researchers with this catchy title: “A Qualitative...
Bits & Pieces
Fully Erect
Identical naked Donald Trump statues were recently erected in cities across the United States, shocking and thrilling crowds in Seattle, New York, Cleveland, San Francisco and the City of Angels. Commissioned...
Bits & Pieces
Drunk & Disorderly
It’s understandable that macho, dumb shits would find a job with the United States Secret Service (USSS) appealing: You get to carry a gun and wear sunglasses and a wire and shit. You’d think the elite law...
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Mass Shootings USA
MASS SHOOTINGS IN AMERICA HAVE BECOME SO COMMONPLACE THAT IT’S ALMOST NEWS WHEN WE GO A WEEK WITHOUT ONE. THE SHOCK VALUE DECLINES WITH EACH NEW EPISODE IN THIS BLOODY MINISERIES—UNTIL THE RECORD FOR...
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Kurt Vonnegut Visits a Strip Club
NIGHT BEFORE LOUNGE IS LOCATED IN DOWNTOWN LINCOLN, NEBRASKA, AT 1035 M STREET. LAP DANCES ARE $20. The following interview with Kurt Vonnegut took place at the Night...
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Cindy Starfall: Star Light, Star Bright
PORN IS A BUSINESS, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T HAVE FUN. SAVVY PERFORMER CINDY STARFALL HAS TURNED HER NAME INTO A PROFITABLE BRAND. SHE STARS IN VIDEOS, RUNS HER OWN...
Politics
Patriotic Pretense
When it comes to national security, we Americans are a pathetic herd of sheep, easily led from one disastrous foreign entanglement to another without seriously questioning the leaders who consistently betray...
Politics
Supreme Chaos
The U.S. Supreme Court finished its 2015-2016 session with a number of positive surprises. Many were stunned to see liberal-leaning decisions concerning guns, abortion and race-conscious school admission...
Bits & Pieces
Holy Fuck, It’s Christmas!
This just in: There is joy on earth. It’s on us to spread it around, and this time of year that means gifts. Sometimes it gets hard to figure out what goodies Old Saint Fatty should...
Bits & Pieces
Rubber Rubbish
So long, jizz facials. If Proposition 60, a ballot measure going before Californians on November 8th, is voted in, your favorite cum queens will have to wear goggles, nose plugs and surgical masks if they...
