Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

Cartoons

Illustrated monthly funnies

Jokes

Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

Unapologetic political satire

close slideout
Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
Magazine new arrow

December 2024

Featuring Ellie Nova
Join HUSTLER Magazine trial promo image

Intro Offer:
3 days for only $0.99!

Latest Articles

Your Right to Privacy
Politics

Your Right to Privacy

Your cell phone is a temple of liberty. As absurd as that may sound, it is a truth of the Digital Age. Even the ultraconservative U.S. Supreme Court has acknowledged that the government’s access to...
Stop Right Fucking Now
Bits & Pieces

Stop Right Fucking Now

What does your safe word say about you? A lot, apparently. A new survey (published by Bustle) from adult toy retailer Lovehoney asked 1,280 people about their go-to safe word. The results are in, and...
Condoms Are a Crime?
Bits & Pieces

Condoms Are a Crime?

In the spirit of SESTA/FOSTA and the Trumped up pretext of fighting human trafficking, one Pennsylvania county has discarded sanity and criminalized condoms. I shit you not. That’s right, condoms are now...
The Real Fake News: Devos Blames School Shootings on Schools
Bits & Pieces

The Real Fake News: Devos Blames School Shootings on Schools

LYNCHBURG, VA—During a speech at Liberty University, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos ceased speaking in tongues long enough to identify three...
Warm Weenie Water: $38
Bits & Pieces

Warm Weenie Water: $38

­People will buy anything. It’s like we’re allergic to money and can’t empty our wallets of it quickly enough. Shameless corporations exploit this, while postmodern artists use it to craft...
Extremely Normal?
Feature

Extremely Normal?

Triple anal, blowbangs and piss-boarding—is extreme porn the new normal? Five top performers weigh in on the undeniable popularity of this genre. Charlotte Sartre is smiling. The kind of smile synonymous...
It’s Worse Than You Think
Politics

It’s Worse Than You Think

Fighting for Donald J. Trump’s removal from office (with life imprisonment as a well-deserved parting gift) remains a worthy goal. In the meantime an equally important objective is restoring a...
Vindicating Torture
Politics

Vindicating Torture

Appointing a documented torture honcho, Gina Haspel, as director of the Central Intelligence Agency speaks volumes about America’s image in the world. The coronation of “Bloody Gina”—an appropriate...
Topless Selfies Trending
Bits & Pieces

Topless Selfies Trending

It’s in a U.K. tabloid, so you know it must be real. The Sun is confirming that, yes, women are taking to social media with saucy selfies of exposed boobies in very public and populated...
Fellatio Finesse
Bits & Pieces

Fellatio Finesse

When a seemingly new sex trend emerges, its repercussions can be both profound and unsettling (I’m looking at you, Jason Biggs). But where pies failed, fruit now reigns supreme as the edible sex aid of...
The Real Fake News: Haspel Shatters Glass Ceiling With Ice Pick
Bits & Pieces

The Real Fake News: Haspel Shatters Glass Ceiling With Ice Pick

WASHINGTON, D.C.—After days of perfunctory hearings, and with the help of six key Democratic votes,...
Man Rear-ends Car
Bits & Pieces

Man Rear-ends Car

In what universe can a man mistake the exhaust pipe of a car with a human orifice, male or female? The answer is one where a person is somehow still alive with an off-the-charts 0.35 blood alcohol level. As...
Romi Rain: Naked Ambition
Feature

Romi Rain: Naked Ambition

Romi Rain went from scooping ice cream and eating government cheese to building an adult-industry career where she calls the shots. As the 2018 XBIZ Performer of the Year puts it, “I haven’t ever...
World War III: Oops, Game Over
Feature

World War III: Oops, Game Over

LAST JANUARY HAWAII’S 1.5 MILLION CITIZENS WERE PANICKED BY A DOOMSDAY ALERT BROADCAST ON THEIR PHONES, TVS AND RADIOS: “BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE...
Shell Game
Politics

Shell Game

In the 1944 film noir thriller Gaslight, Charles Boyer’s character psychologically abuses his wife until she’s forced to question her sanity. The much younger woman (portrayed by Ingrid Bergman) has no ink...
Trump’s a Survivor
Politics

Trump’s a Survivor

Never underestimate Donald Trump. The man has a sixth sense when it comes to his survival in the business and political worlds. Throughout his life, no matter the evidence to the contrary, he has been able to...
Hot Letters
Feature

Hot Letters

I about fell out of the closet when she started rimming him. She was tonguing my husband’s ass crack, licking all over his butt. Then finally she pushed her taster into his rosebud. I could see everything...
Hot Letters
Feature

Hot Letters

 Lilly’s long, slender legs were wrapped around my neck, and I was feasting on her pussy. It was a perfect pink pussy, with smooth, fat cunt flaps and a sensitive love trigger. Slit juice was streaming...
Hot Letters
Feature

Hot Letters

Crash! Startled awake by the sound of shattered glass, I began screaming. A huge, meaty hand clamped over my mouth. The room was too dark to see much—a black wool-cap mask, a bulky coat. I could tell he was...
Black Magic & Murder: The Underbelly of Crime
Feature

Black Magic & Murder: The Underbelly of Crime

News stories that sound like horror movies. Dismembered corpses and desecrated graves, children sold off for ritual and the ghastly reality of human sacrifice....
Hot Letters
Feature

Hot Letters

Twenty minutes to twelve. I glanced around me and saw couples tucked into booths; crusty, dusty regulars lined up at the bar; band groupies swaying and gyrating on the dance floor— and tons of schmucks just...