Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
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Bits & Pieces
Perversion Conversion
If you have enough money, you can get seated at any table. Take, for instance, Donald Trump’s pick for secretary of the Department of Education, Betsy “My Teeth Are Whiter Than Yours” DeVos....
Bits & Pieces
Mind Fuck
A Canadian study has found another benefit to penis-in-pussy action. Researchers from McGill University recently published an article—“Frequency of Penile-Vaginal Intercourse is Associated with Verbal...
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Body Hack Hell
IT’S NOON ON WEDNESDAY, AND I’M CHOOSING TO EAT A WHOLE PLAIN POTATO. OF MY OWN FREE WILL. I STEAMED IT IN MY OFFICE MICROWAVE LIKE THE WEIRD SAD GUY FROM ACCOUNTING DOES. IT’S THE KIND YOU...
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Booty Call
Calling all ass enthusiasts! True derriere devotees truly know their butt globes. Test your prowess here, and win Larry’s Favorite Magazine free for a year! Match the beautiful behind at left to the stunning...
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Match Her Snatch
Think pink, and win a free subscription to HUSTLER Magazine! 2016 was a banner year for pussy, my friend. Witness the cornucopia of cunt displayed below. Each of these delicious quims belongs to a 2016 Honey....
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Hot Showers
Breasts sliding against full, slippery breasts. Pussies that are wetter than water. Soapy, utterly delicious bodies. Enjoy this steamy lesbian XXX photo special. Butt and kitty action, nipple-twisting and...
Politics
End of the (Pipe)line
While the corporate media and much of the country were obsessed with the threat posed by Donald Trump’s Presidential candidacy, the Lakota and Dakota Sioux nations had another concern. Their people...
Politics
Working-Class Woes
How did this happen? As I absorb the once impossibly ludicrous spectacle of the inauguration of Donald Trump as the 45th President of the United States, I remain in a state of shock shared by the majority of...
Bits & Pieces
Johnny Wad Kennedy
High on Election Day adrenaline, MSNBC’s Chris Matthews shocked and titillated a panel of nebbish cohosts by offhandedly remarking that John F. Kennedy once visited a porn theater to blow off election-eve...
Bits & Pieces
Lust in Translation
#OneMoreCoolThingJapanHasThatWeDon’t: a titty contest judged “from a female perspective.” Sadly, HUSTLER’s Japanese translators have been out sick all month, but between Twitter, YouTube and...
Bits & Pieces
Well-Fucked Planet
Earth Day—a vapid, made-up holiday celebrated by self-congratulatory idiots who believe that turning organic baby food jars into candle votives and participating in drum circles will Make a Difference and...
Bits & Pieces
Hello, Slattern
Like a lot of media, HUSTLER did not wake up in time to smell the funeral. Most of us came in to work on November 9, 2016, dazed and confused. “Donald Trump’s Victory Proves That America Hates...
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Hot Letters
EVERY YEAR WE RECEIVE HUNDREDS OF STEAMY LETTERS FROM YOU, OUR READERS. HERE ARE A FEW OF OUR HOTTEST HOT LETTERS, THE BEST OF THE BEST. SO LOCK THE DOOR. WARM UP YOUR FINGERS OR YOUR FAVORITE TOY. GET...
Politics
DEA’s Reefer Madness
Legalized marijuana is a hit. The production, distribution and sale of medical marijuana is no longer prohibited in the majority of states, and even in those that have also legalized cannabis for recreational...
Politics
Kill the Death Penalty
Let’s put the Christ back in Christmas by recalling that he was put to death following a sham trial. This is a fact I pondered after interviewing a former death row inmate named Gary Tyler, who was...
Bits & Pieces
Big Pussies
Leave it to Donald Trump, aka Cheeto Jesus, aka The Face Without a Man, to ruin a perfectly wonderous word: pussy. In case you missed it (if you did, consider yourself blessed): A few weeks before the U.S....
Bits & Pieces
Mississippi Mud
Three cheers for the five bufuing freedom fighters who recently filed a federal class action lawsuit against Mississippi for its ass-backwards sodomy laws. (What is sodomy? We’re glad you asked! Strictly...
