Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

Cartoons

Illustrated monthly funnies

Jokes

Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

Unapologetic political satire

close slideout
Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
Magazine new arrow

May 2024

Featuring Tavia
Join HUSTLER Magazine trial promo image

Intro Offer:
3 days for only $0.99!

Latest Articles

The Real Fake News: Nation Shocked to Learn Wealthy Buy Advantages
Bits & Pieces

The Real Fake News: Nation Shocked to Learn Wealthy Buy Advantages

SANTA MONICA, CA—In the wake of the college admissions scandal, in which 50 people were charged on multiple...
Lisa Simpson for President
Bits & Pieces

Lisa Simpson for President

Now that a reality-TV star has proven that anyone can be elected President in America, The Donald is facing a formidable foe. A Fort Lauderdale-born woman has adopted the identity...
Happy, Healthy…Kinky
Bits & Pieces

Happy, Healthy…Kinky

Admit it, you’re curious about kink. Maybe you saw Fifty Shades of Grey, or someone bought you Shibari rope as a wedding gift that now sits in a drawer, sad and unused. Well, dust that shit off and get...
Fucking Fun @ The Adult Entertainment Expo
Feature

Fucking Fun @ The Adult Entertainment Expo

It comes as no surprise that porn stars like to fuck and have fun. Nowhere is that more evident than the Adult Entertainment Expo, a celebration of sex held...
D1C48P Anti corporate bail out protesters call for funds to be used for a national healthcare plan.
Politics

Free Healthcare for Everyone?

Medicare for All is the ticket to healthcare sanity in America, and the idea is being championed by more members of Congress than ever before. Progressive caucuses in the House and Senate...
RYFJXB U.S. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York, along with other members of Congress announce the Green New Deal legislation during a press conference outside the Capitol Building February 7, 2019 in Washington, D.C.
Politics

A Green New Deal

The Green New Deal (GND) must be a great idea. How do I know? Just listen to wing nuts on the Right, like Sean Hannity of Fox News. He freaked out about the plan for millions of new jobs and clean, renewable...
Sex in the City
Bits & Pieces

Sex in the City

Nothing says sexy quite like cutting loose in…Morgantown, West Virginia? You see, this is what happens when you let a sex toy company use its own data to promote romantic tourism. It’s a pretty common...
Sad Little Weiner
Bits & Pieces

Sad Little Weiner

Former congressman and human trainwreck Anthony Weiner has seen better days. He is reportedly back in New York after finishing his term in a Massachusetts prison where he may or may not have been passed around...
Florida: WTF
Bits & Pieces

Florida: WTF

Florida, America’s sweaty ball sac (thank you, Patton Oswalt), earned its reputation as the most batshit crazy state in the union. And it continues to defend this dubious title, day after day, racking up...
LUNA STAR, JANUARY ’14
Feature

Sex Superstars: Bewitching Brunettes

Back in our January issue HUSTLER featured Part One of our “Sex Superstars” series: “Blond Bombshells.” We labored long and hard over our selections and, in fact, almost...
DYKDWN US Air Force airman provides security during an operation March 16, 2014 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan.
Politics

Another Foolhardy War

For many Americans, especially millennials, war has become nothing more than what’s depicted in the make-believe world of a video game. Couch potatoes can joyously kill and be killed without...
KDT2KA Texas border fence sits atop a dike near the Texas/Mexico border with a farmers mailbox in the foreground. This portion of the fence was built during
Politics

Against the Wall

Most Americans residing along the border with Mexico are not clamoring for a wall, but many are resisting an invasion. Their existential menace is neither cartel drug-runners nor Central American...
Circus of Depravity
Bits & Pieces

Circus of Depravity

Remember Wife Swap, the program where two women from diverse backgrounds traded families and homes for a couple weeks? As guilty pleasures go, the reality series was not totally without merit: Watching a...
DPA Picture Alliance/Alamy
Bits & Pieces

The Real Fake News: Dozens Hospitalized With Giuliani Poisoning

ATLANTA, GA—The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is urging East Coast residents to avoid...
Photo by Xinhua/Alamy
Bits & Pieces

Four Score & Seven Boners Ago

Fanfiction is a very broad term that encompasses all kinds of fantasy scenarios between characters, be they real or imagined. There’s gay Teen Wolf fanfic, Marvel Universe...
A Sack of Shit for a Sack of Shit
Bits & Pieces

A Sack of Shit for a Sack of Shit

Some ideas are so simple, so perfect that you can’t help but be mad at yourself for not thinking of it first. Sometimes it’s a new spin on an existing product—an innovation...
Dennis Hof photo by DPA Picture Alliance/Alamy.
Bunnyranch photo by ©Bill Bachmann/Alamy.
Feature

Last Ho Down at the BunnyRanch

Like everyone at Nevada’s premiere brothel, the Moonlite BunnyRanch, I was shocked by the news of Dennis Hof’s sudden death on October 16, 2018, just two days after he celebrated his...
P9M1FN Washington, DC, USA. 18th July, 2018. Early evening demonstrators in front of the White House protesting President Donald Trump?s ?treasonous? relationship with Russian President Vladimir Putin, as became obvious during Trump?s recent trip to Europe and Russia.  Bob Korn/Alamy Live News
Politics

Indict Him!

If Donald Trump is lucky—and he usually is—he will only be impeached. He deserves far worse: to be prosecuted as a criminal and sent to prison. If anybody else did what we now know Trump did, he or she...
KTN8JF Officers from law enforcement agencies across Washington County, N.Y. seized almost $2 million of worth of marijuana plants Aug. 28 as part of a multi-day, multi-agency drug eradication mission in conjunction with the New York Counterdrug Task Force. (U.S. Army Photo by Spc. J.p. Lawrence, 42nd Infantry Division Public Affairs).
Politics

The War on Drugs Was a Bust

Sometimes a revolution happens and nobody notices. That’s the case with the widespread legalization of marijuana in this country and the grinding to a halt of the U.S. government’s...
Long Story Short: How to Measure Your Penis
Bits & Pieces

Long Story Short: How to Measure Your Penis

The way it’s debated, you’d think that dick size and the measurement thereof was akin to string theory and other hotly contested topics. But even particle...
The Real Fake News: White House Announces “Snitches Get Stitches” Policy
Bits & Pieces

The Real Fake News: White House Announces “Snitches Get Stitches” Policy

WASHINGTON, D.C.—A White House increasingly in the grip of paranoia has issued a “Snitches Get...