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June 2024

Misha Cross and Agatha Vega
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Photo: Valerio Rosati / Alamy Stock Photo
Featured Article

Masking It While Making It

A recent report recommends wearing a face covering if you get it on with someone outside of your quarantine zone. We take a deep dive into the practicalities of banging from behind a mask.  

Social distancing is a highly recommended method of preventing the transmission of COVID-19, but it can pose a problem for single people who are hornier than Jerry Falwell Jr. at a cuck convention. For those who don’t live with a lover, what can the thirsty do to quench their burning desires in this shithole that is 2020?

Fortunately, the scientific community is tackling this topic for the pandemic-affected singletons out there. 

“Abstinence is the lowest-risk approach to sexual health during the pandemic,” Dr. Alex  Keuroghlian, co-author of the report Sexual Health in the SARS-CoV-2 Era, said in a press release. However, citing “the well-documented failures of abstinence-based public health interventions,” Keuroghlian added, “this advice alone is unlikely to be successful for all patients.”

Keuroghlian, Dr. Kenneth Mayer and Dr. Jack Turban studied safe intimacy during the current world health crisis, taking a sex-positive approach. To be very clear, the report notes that, based on the data, all forms of in-person sexual contact” appear to carry the risk of coronavirus transmission. However, the report adds, given what a big role sexuality plays for most people, health care providers “should consider counseling patients on this topic whenever possible.”

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