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HUSTLER Classic: Stay Gold

As the old proverb says, all that glitters is not gold. A gleaming, pink pussy paired with a shiny, gilded dildo, however? That’s a combination that’s worth its weight in bullion.  Case in point: the classic September ’04 pictorial “Nautica: Goldmember.” Lensed by photographer Matti Klatt, the photo-spread featured an exotic beauty who understood just...

Sunday Funday: Dildo Darlings 9

No boners? No biggie! These babes don’t need a hard-on to get their fill of fun; they just crack open the toy chest and get to work with their favorite faux phalluses. Go ahead, enjoy! They certainly are… Amy Douxxx Nautica Abella Danger Romi Rain & Cherie DeVille Anny Aurora Hannah Harper Cadey Mercury Athena...

When the Sex Goes on Too Long

Yes, believe it or not, it is possible to do too much boning. Here’s why it’s important to screw smarter, not harder (but still plenty hard, too). Men often feel they have to be Olympic, gold medal-winning lovers to meet the demands of modern women. After all, long gone are the days when a guy...

Skye Blue

“My zodiac sign is Cancer. I’m overemotional sometimes, but also passionate, caring and creative. I love doing anything artistic, like painting and creating abstract art. I moved to New York City to pursue fashion design, but I ended up modeling. No regrets. I’ve learned a lot from being on set,...

Beach Boner Bingo

Sometimes it’s not such a bad idea to bury your head in the sand. We mean it in the most literal sense possible, of course, lest you want to find yourself being escorted off of Haulover Beach in Florida for not observing proper boner etiquette. Considered one of the most popular nudist destinations in all...

Mike Peters: A Great Leap Forward

The lead singer and main songwriter for The Alarm emerges from a leukemia battle with a new album, Forwards. Mike Peters has never had time to look back. As the lead singer and main songwriter of The Alarm, he led the Welsh unit through a decade of hits in the 1980s that included: “Sixty Eight...

Sunday Funday: Girls on Girls 2

Nothing beats a hot, naked chick—unless it’s two hot, naked chicks getting busy with each other! So join us as we celebrate the glorious sight of beautiful HUSTLER Honeys pairing up and getting down. Enjoy! Serene Siren & Marykate Moss Harley Haze & Havana Bleu Ryan Keely & Vina Sky Val Dodds & Kylie Le...

Jessica Ryan

“I used to think porn was only big-titted blondes with plastic surgery up the wazoo. When I got into the industry, I saw that there’s a lot of porn—something for everything. I realized it’s okay for me to watch really filthy shit. Before, I’d hide in my bedroom, type stuff...

Penciling in the Porking

Sure, everyone loves the idea of a spontaneous boning session, but in these modern, hectic times, scheduled sex isn’t just an enjoyable alternative—it just might be a necessity. In the minds of most horndogs—at least those romanced into a googly-eyed stupor by the illusions shoved down their throats on their favorite streaming channel—sex is supposed...

Friday Funnies: Just Beachy Vol. 2

Summer’s finally here again, and you know what that means—time to hit the beach! And while there’s always plenty of fun to be had among the sun and sand, we’re bringing an extra dose of hilarity, courtesy of HUSTLER’s archive of uproarious cartoons. Enjoy! “My personal ad said I liked long walks on the beach!”...

How Much…

“How much for Position 375?”...

To Hell With All…

“To hell with all the scientific tests. We just want to fuck you!”...

Three nuns were shooting…

“Three nuns were shooting the breeze. Sister Carlotta said, “I was cleaning Father Paul’s room the other day, and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines.” “What did you do?” Sister Sylvia and Sister Bethany asked together. “Of course, I threw them all in the trash,” Sister Carlotta proudly replied. “Well,...

HUSTLER Two-Timers: Jessica Ryan

Welcome to HUSTLER Two-Timers, where we celebrate Honeys so nice, we’ve featured them twice! Today we’re celebrating the beauty, charm and spirit of Jessica Ryan, a free-spirited minx with a hearty appetite for men and women alike—as you’ll soon discover.  Jessica made her first major impression on HUSTLER readers with the December ’16 pictorial “Porn...

A doctor told his patient…

A doctor told his patient, “Robert, I have good news and bad news for you.” “Uh, what’s the bad news?” Robert asked. “You have terminal emphysema,” the doctor informed him. “I’d give you three to six months.” “Aw, shit!” Robert bellowed. “So what’s the good news?” The doctor replied, “That smokinghot nurse out in the...

Question: What’s the difference…

Question: What’s the difference between Cialis and Donald Trump? Answer: One is a yellow-orange pill that works to steel erections. The other is a yellow-orange shill that works to steal elections....

Two men were discussing…

Two men were discussing how much trouble their wives gave them about having sex. Pete said, “My wife’s so cold, I can put a glass of water in bed with her, and the next morning it’s turned to ice.” Kevin exclaimed, “Hell, every time my old lady spreads her legs, the friggin’ furnace goes on!”...

An old priest was beginning to get fed up….

An old priest was beginning to get fed up with the number of people confessing to adultery. One Sunday in the pulpit he announced, “If I hear another adultery confession from any of you, I’m quitting.” To avoid incurring his wrath during confessions, the wayward parishioners came up with a code word: Adulterers would tell...

Sunday Funday: Girls on Girls 3

It’s Sunday, which is traditionally a day of rest, but we’re here to help you get your heart rate up and work up a sweat with a scorching-hot collection of HUSTLER Honeys pairing up and getting down with each other. Enjoy! Kat Chase & Kimora Quin Jessica Ryan & Haley Spades Mia Malkova & Riley...

Keep Your Shirt On? No Thanks!

With another summer upon us, a troubling question once again raises its head. Namely, why is public female toplessness still so discouraged in America? We explore the ongoing battle to free the nipple. Summer is upon us. Right now, people all over the country are coming out of hibernation, thawing out their ding-a-lings and snatches,...

A Celebration of Pride

June is not only a harbinger of summer, it is also Pride Month! I had the absolute honor and pleasure of interviewing several LGBTQIA+ sex workers from numerous facets of the adult industry to share their journey, experiences and hopes for making our world (not just the adult industry) a more inclusive and supportive place....

Doing Them Dirty

Because sometimes sex is messy. Filthily, disgustingly, gloriously messy. I was working at this chicken restaurant across the street from my house back in high school when I met this girl who was also working at the bird joint. She worked in salads, while I was a snot-nosed derelict bussing tables and washing dishes. This...

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