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December 2023

Azura Grace
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Keep Your Shirt On? No Thanks!
Featured Article

Keep Your Shirt On? No Thanks!

With another summer upon us, a troubling question once again raises its head. Namely, why is public female toplessness still so discouraged in America? We explore the ongoing battle to free the nipple.

Summer is upon us. Right now, people all over the country are coming out of hibernation, thawing out their ding-a-lings and snatches, ditching their Eskimo-inspired ensembles and jumping into skimpier, more revealing garb intended to thwart the perilous heat. The men, of course, have it easy–all they have to do to get summer-ready is ditch their shirts, and it’s on! Regardless of whether they’re equipped with a six pack or have a body that more closely resembles what happens when you drink too many of them, rest assured, the nipples, back hair and all the lumpy features are going to be on display, ready or not. 

Women, unfortunately, don’t have the luxury of playing for Team Skins to the extent of letting their tatas come out to play.

Sadly, it simply isn’t socially acceptable in the United States for the ladies to flaunt their puppies in public. Bare breasts are viewed as too much in most places. In some states, public indecency laws make taking tits out for fresh air an arrestable offense. The powers that be are convinced that allowing women to go topless will somehow inspire evil, perverted behaviors and quite possibly invoke the kind of blasphemous uprising that will almost assuredly send society into an apocalyptic fit. And if hell’s fiery wrath isn’t enough of a reason to keep their bare boobs off the streets, what about the children? The politicians–presumably the same ones who were once regular guests at Jeffery Epstein’s island–don’t want the impressionable youth getting a gander at any woman’s jugs. 

“Women should get to go topless too. There’s a double standard in this country, just like they don’t want us nursing babies in public. Our ancestors didn’t cover up, so we shouldn’t have to either.”


Ridiculous, right? You betcha!

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